Tmaxx, I am a Washington Resident (Lived in the Tri-cities) who was faced with the same questions you have. I chose to go to UND and am currently enrolled in the Flight Education major, with a second major in English, and planning on pursuing teaching certification.
To answer some of your questions, Your major determines what courses you must take to complete the program and get a degree, however you are more than welcome to add courses to this. For instance, I am going to add the altitude chamber and CRJ course to the courses I will be taking.
If you're looking to stay in state you can consider the UND branch campus in Spokane, or if you want Moses Lake Community College also has a flight program.
I hope that this helps you, and if you do decide to come to Grand Forks perhaps I'll see you around
-Max