Try:
The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook - Bourne
Feeling Good - Burns
Guide to Trance-Formation - Bandler
Get the Life You Want - Bandler

With the last two, the fun part is you can be completely skeptical, and the processes described still work. With any of them, you can pretend, and if you pretend long enough and good enough, it won't be pretending anymore.

Pilots are mission-orientated compartmentalizers. When they fly, they open the compartment called "pilot" and close the other ones. It's when the other compartments don't close completely that there are problems. Learning to close the other compartments is part of pilot training, even if not directly mentioned.

Having dealt with the mental health system and refugees from it for a few decades, I've come to a few conclusions:
1. What one's parents, siblings, other kids, and so on did to you doesn't matter.
2. What event the fear or anxiety comes from doesn't matter.
3. Finding the source of the fear or anxiety doesn't matter. Finding the source, path, and route of the feeling does.
4. With rare exception, one can learn to control their thoughts.
5. After controlling one's thoughts, the physical reaction takes awhile longer to conquer.
6. Knowing the above makes it easier to deal with the stupid and/or shameful physical reactions while bringing the physical reactions under control.
7. Small victories lead to bigger victories.
8. Small failures, if not corrected and learned from, lead to bigger failures.
9. At times, life sucks. It provides a difference so we know when life doesn't suck.

Bringing the thoughts under control takes practice, which the above listed books can assist with. Some talk therapy might be helpful, but that therapy should deal with how to move forward, not discovering who was mean to you in the third grade.