Airline Pilot Forums

Guys -

Legit question, from a happily married man. Is the concept of marriage biologically compatible with being a man ? I mean, 13 years into marriage, and I am still checking out the opposite sex in the terminal. :eek:

Etc etc

In the wild kingdom, the males are out ensuring that their DNA is spread around, thats their design. Some countries, Europe, Latin America, having a side girlfriend is very accepted and normal. Not justifying it, but just putting it out there.

I find it unreasonable that checking out the opposite sex, while married, or even throwing down with a hot FA one night, is gonna reserve a chair in hell between the chairs labeled "John Wayne Gacy" and "Osama Bin Laden". I mean, come on.

Thoughts/discussion wanted

I don't know your life or marriage, but I can tell your searching for validation for how to feel and act. It is not unreasonable to "check out" the opposite sex. Marriage is very complicated. It doesn't always fulfill all our needs nor can it. It is not a contract to be entered in lightly. People will always be hurt with infidelity. Biologically speaking, I am not sure we are supposed to be with one person for the rest of our lives. I believe we meet people along the way who enrich us and make us better. And we get the unique experience to enjoy that other person. And, yes that means in a sexual way. So I guess I will say this "Tread" carefully.

Based on our body's evolution and our closest genetic apes, the bonobos, we are designed for social sex. Marriage is a construct that was born out of settling down and taking up property. In order to ensure passage of your property (land) to your son, you had to make sure that son was yours. The best way to do that was to lay claim to a woman, literally. Only by "marrying" her did you make her yours and lock any other man out of her marriage bed. So yeah, you can thank the agricultural revolution for our poor health, marriage, and warfare.

Here are just a couple of evolutionary examples:
1) the gorilla has a harem of female gorillas, and he only mates with them when they are ready for a new baby every couple of years. Despite the fact that he can have tons of females in his harem, most gorillas only have sex roughly 60 times during their lifetime. Their penis is about 1 inch long and their balls are almost non-existant - they have very, very little sperm per ejaculation. They usually don't need to have sex more than once to ensure insemination.

Contrary to that, the human male has the largest penis to body size ratio in the known animal kingdom and shoots out millions of sperm each "shot" - he is designed for social sex. Gorillas don't need lots of sperm and a long penis to make sure his little guy makes it to the female's ovaries, because he already fought for them and won them physically. That is also why male gorillas are twice the size of female gorillas - so they can fight over them. All the competition happens outside of the woman's vagina.

Contrast that with a human male to female, and we males are only 15% larger than the females, on average. We are not designed to fight other males for our right to mate. We are all designed to have a chance with any female in our tribe; the competition actually happens at the level of the sperm.

2) Sperm competition is a really crazy thing. Look at it this way, the woman's vagina is a veritable gauntlet for sperm. First of all, it's an entirely acidic environment, and most sperm are dead within minutes of entering it. Not to mention all the little channels and valleys and tubes the sperm have to race through just to even attempt to find an egg.

3) Male ejaculations take, on average, 5 minutes to reach. Women usually take much longer and are rarely pleased by a single male; they are designed to have sex with multiple partners at one time. A woman could easily take 3 or 4 or 5 men at a single time before she reaches climax. Before we placed social rules on sex, women would attempt to sleep with as many males as possible, this assured her that the male with the strongest and most worthy semen would achieve success in inseminating her.

4) A male's semen is designed to fight another male's semen. On average, there are roughly 9 "spurts" of ejaculate. The first 3 are coated in a protective layer designed to shield them from a previous man's ejaculation into the same woman. The next 3 are designed as the "inseminating" layer - they're the ones you hope to get through. The last three "spurts" are designed as a weapon, they literally attack the next male's ejaculate that should happen to fire off in the same woman.

Conclusion: this is just some of the evidence from human evolution. Another fun topic of study is our nearest living relatives, the bonobos. They are social ape, where the females literally have sex with any male willing. This keeps the tension down amongst the males - there are literally NO known fights that have led to violence in the 10s of years we have been watching them. When one tribe of bonobos meets another tribe, the females intermingle with the males from amongst the tribes, have merry sex, get new blood into the tribe from the children, and everyone gets along. Again, in the last 30 or 40 years of human beings watching bonobos, not one bonobo has ever been seen physically fighting with another bonobo. Sex truly is a wonderful tool to help keep the peace.

Well, I hope that answers your question. Marriage and monogomy are man-made social prisons designed to keep women locked into one specific man's bed chamber - he must be assured his bloodline has been kept so when it is time to pass his land and possessions on, he knows it is in fact his son.

I don't know your life or marriage, but I can tell your searching for validation for how you feel and how to act. It is not unreasonable to "check out" the opposite sex. Marriage is very complicated. It doesn't always fulfill all our needs nor can it. It is not a contract to be entered in lightly. People will always be hurt with infidelity. Tread carefully.

yes that is why I ended it with

Thoughts/discussion wanted

or even throwing down with a hot FA one night

There are still hot FAs?

There are still hot FAs?

:D

the ones that got off the Avianca flight

For the Kardashians, marriage seems to be biologically compatible for around 72 days :)

There are still hot FAs?

Yes, there are----I've seen some stunners in my travels. The BIGGER question is are there still dashing, intelligent and mature pilots? I mean with all the spiky hair, ipods, backpacks, unshined shoes and abhorance to wearing the hat (and full uniform, correctly) it's slim pickins' these days---except in Europe and the Middle East where their pilot group can let me entertain some very naughty thoughts. :)

That's how I read it. I give it five posts, starting now, before someone comes along and acts all "offended."

"Offended?!" You'd be hard-pressed to find 5 males to agree to be with 1 female. Pretty much NOT gonna happen since men are a bit skittish about "competition." Funny, but the same men have NO problem with the idea of being with multiple females at the same time. Hmmmmmmmm.:confused:

"Offended?!" You'd be hard-pressed to find 5 males to agree to be with 1 female. Pretty much NOT gonna happen since men are a bit skittish about "competition." Funny, but the same men have NO problem with the idea of being with multiple females at the same time. Hmmmmmmmm.:confused:

Competition doesn't exist when all women are freely available. It's only when we start considering another person as "our" property that we start to harbor feelings of jealousy and inadequacy. Yes, another emotion you can thank the agricultural revolution for! :D

TOS deleted

You know they've done studies on porn. It turns out that most guys don't really enjoy watching girl on girl... evolutionary-wise, we have evolved to "wait our turn" while watching another man have sex. And that's why you enjoy watching another man have sex with a girl whenever you watch your porn! The more you know! ;)

Competition doesn't exist when all women are freely available. It's only when we start considering another person as "our" property that we start to harbor feelings of jealousy and inadequacy. Yes, another emotion you can thank the agricultural revolution for! :D

Haven't met the straight man yet who's admitted to being up for a menage (or more) with only one woman.

Only about half the time.

It has more to it than apes, biology, porn or strange psychosexual meanderings.

Of course it is OK to look. And depending on what, where, and how much, it is OK to touch. Making out and beyond is not OK unless you have an understanding with your spouse.

If you are trying to use biology as justification for past or desired behavior, you need to have this chat with your spouse, not with us.

Only about half the time.

It has more to it than apes, biology, porn or strange psychosexual meanderings.

He asked from a biological point of view. Regardless of how much anything else has to do with it, from a biological point of view we are not designed for marriage.

Haven't met the straight man yet who's admitted to being up for a menage (or more) with only one woman.

That's because we live in a society that demeans anyone not "normal," despite the fact that what we define as normal is really at odds to our biological makeup.

That's because we live in a society that demeans anyone not "normal," despite the fact that what we define as normal is really at odds to our biological makeup.

Monkeys don't sign contracts.

Monkeys don't sign contracts.

Fortunately, we're apes, not monkeys.

Fun fact: the male penis is designed to act as a plunger, creating a suction within the woman's vagina to draw out a previous male's semen. Sometimes it pays to go last. ;)

Fortunately, we're apes, not monkeys.

Fun fact: the male penis is designed to act as a plunger, creating a suction within the woman's vagina to draw out a previous male's semen. Sometimes it pays to go last. ;)

I am guessing your mom wasn't an ape and didn't need a plunger.

Biological determinism (of which there is a lot in this thread) is only a step above astrology. Human behavior is a complex interaction between the hand we've been dealt biologically, our culture, our individual personality, and the situation in which we find ourselves.

The O.P. would have done better to ask if sexual monogamy was biologically compatible and the answer would be yes.

WW

Well, I hope that answers your question. Marriage and monogomy are man-made social prisons designed to keep women locked into one specific man's bed chamber - he must be assured his bloodline has been kept so when it is time to pass his land and possessions on, he knows it is in fact his son.So does that mean DNA testing has made marriage obsolete?

Monkeys don't sign contracts.

Evidence suggests otherwise - DALPA just ratified a new contract! :D {Ducking for cover}

Fortunately, we're apes, not monkeys.

From Trading Places:

"OK, one male gorilla."

"Wait a minute. There's two of them in that cage."

"One gorilla, two gorillas. Big deal. Whole bunch is getting sent back to Africa. It's a big scientific experiment. What do I know? Anyway, they're in love."

Fun fact: the male penis is designed to act as a plunger, creating a suction within the woman's vagina to draw out a previous male's semen. Sometimes it pays to go last. ;)

I guess that all depends on what you're looking for...

I am guessing your mom wasn't an ape and didn't need a plunger.

{Insert turkey baster comment here}

I am guessing your mom wasn't an ape and didn't need a plunger.

Haha, no.. my mom is most definitely an ape, considering all humans are apes! ;)

So does that mean DNA testing has made marriage obsolete?

Well, these days, there's more to marriage than passing along your property. Wills can do that without the need for a marriage. However, lawful marriage provides tax-breaks, insurance, shared bank accounts, you name it. Marriage is more of a business partnership these days for a vast majority of marriages.

Biological determinism (of which there is a lot in this thread) is only a step above astrology. Human behavior is a complex interaction between the hand we've been dealt biologically, our culture, our individual personality, and the situation in which we find ourselves.

The O.P. would have done better to ask if sexual monogamy was biologically compatible and the answer would be yes.

WW

Definitely, Yes.
It is complex, how we interact, who we want to connect with, how we grew up, and yes astrologically it does matter, to many cultures. It sounds funny, but how we come together through physics, meaning, the energy is phenomenal. How we interact and talk, share and want to get to know each other is amazing. It is amazing to learn about another person.

Definitely, Yes.
It is complex, how we interact, who we want to connect with, how we grew up, and yes astrologically it does matter, to many cultures. It sounds funny, but how we come together through physics, meaning, the energy is phenomenal. How we interact and talk, share and want to get to know each other is amazing. It is amazing to learn about another person.

I wouldn't exactly call it amazing. We are social creatures; for the most part, we're genetically created with a need to meet and interact with others. It's the reason the worst punishment you can give a person is to put them in a cell all by themselves. Lack of socialization will literally drive them insane.

And I certainly agree there's more to life than our biology; we fly for a living, folks - something we are not biologically meant to do. But when our plane (society, or even marriage) fails underneath us, the only thing we have left is our biology.

So I say go forth, cast off the chains of oppression, explore your body, your mind, and your freedom; but most of all, follow your heart (the biological one or otherwise).