Position: 7era (benchwarmer) Jumpseat to NYC (starter)
Posts: 4,641
Quote:
Originally Posted by 80ktsClamp
You real men on the 9 shouldn't even need a release. Just sit down, pimp slap the FO a couple times, squeeze the A-line's jugs, and then launch in the general direction of where you're going because the s-o-b will get there...always. Why will it get there? Because you have a hairy chest that would make hasslehoff jealous and brass balls clanging so loud that when you die they'll replace the bell in Big Ben with them.
Oh wait.... this isnt 1965 is it?
80,
We used to be able to do all of those things on the -9, but as each decade went by, one more "perk disappeared.
In 1975, no longer could we pimp slap the FO. They started fighting back.
In 1985, no longer could we squeeze the A-lines jugs. They started filing lawsuits.
In 1995, no longer could we launch in the general direction of where we were going. ACT started complaining.
And in 2005, no longer could we just sit down. Because after 40 years, the seats were horrific and we have to find something for back support, before we even think about sitting down in that lumbar cruncher.
We've lost a lot over the years.
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You real men on the 9 shouldn't even need a release. Just sit down, pimp slap the FO a couple times, squeeze the A-line's jugs, and then launch in the general direction of where you're going because the s-o-b will get there...always. Why will it get there? Because you have a hairy chest that would make hasslehoff jealous and brass balls clanging so loud that when you die they'll replace the bell in Big Ben with them.
Oh wait.... this isnt 1965 is it?
Yowazza....Squeezing the jugs has a high probability of:
A. inducing a rapid intestinal reflex resulting in bile being profusely excreted through thought the cockpit or
B. A strange but suggestive look from the A-line, as he closes the door.
You real men on the 9 shouldn't even need a release. Just sit down, pimp slap the FO a couple times, squeeze the A-line's jugs, and then launch in the general direction of where you're going because the s-o-b will get there...always. Why will it get there? Because you have a hairy chest that would make hasslehoff jealous and brass balls clanging so loud that when you die they'll replace the bell in Big Ben with them.
We used to be able to do all of those things on the -9, but as each decade went by, one more "perk disappeared.
In 1975, no longer could we pimp slap the FO. They started fighting back.
In 1985, no longer could we squeeze the A-lines jugs. They started filing lawsuits.
In 1995, no longer could we launch in the general direction of where we were going. ACT started complaining.
And in 2005, no longer could we just sit down. Because after 40 years, the seats were horrific and we have to find something for back support, before we even think about sitting down in that lumbar cruncher.
We've lost a lot over the years.
Not to mention squeezing said jugs these days (as 1234 so succinctly pointed out) either:
a. will cause projectile vomitting on the side of the pilot, and also will puff out years and years of untouched dust into the atmosphere.
or b. well, watch out for your pooper.
I've always wondered what goes through your mind before sitting down seats with 40 years of farts. Now I know. That was half the battle.
Personally, even after the CA calls "cut off" on the switches, I look at the fuel flow and N2 to make sure they've stopped. I don't want to be that guy.
Thats also how I now do it. I would just move the fuel levers to cutoff and listen for the loud whining noise that comes from the back end to stop but then a wise Captain told me "Just because the FA's shut up does not mean the engines have been shutdown."
Thats also how I now do it. I would just move the fuel levers to cutoff and listen for the loud whining noise that comes from the back end to stop but then a wise Captain told me "Just because the FA's shut up does not mean the engines have been shutdown."
Scoop
I remember my first time flying the 767 domestic planes with the big Pratt engines.
Pulled in the gate... looked over at the CA and went "man i love the way these engines sound."
CA goes "so do I, but I would suggest making that sound stop.."
Just amazed that I've gone from The Jetsons to The Flintstones.
I'm guessing in three years some of the former DAL-N procedures will start showing up again.
Let me sum it up for you. You were put in to a strange house, in a room your had never seen, with the lights turned out, and no idea where the light switch was, and told to figure you own way out. If you noticed the 1:10 trainig video refered to introduction many times, there were other modules (my guess)but they did not want to pay the training bucks. I am very dissapointed in the training by bulliten process thru this whole thing. I just hope and pray we don't bend some metal before this all sinks in.
Kudos to the fNW guys for doing a great job so far and please above all, if the discomfort level is to high, fix it before you push the throttles up. Safety First!!!!!!!!!!!!
P.S. Just complaining about the training recieved and not a rant against S-guys. Kinda like the wife running around in Wilma's animal skin.
I flew into MSP today from ATL and had a break and went down to the crewroom under F11? Anyway, some DL-N pilots were upset with the new AWABS system, and one said he had heard that we were going to go back to the former NWA system in 4 months, since it supposedly "saves more money" in gas savings. I stated I did not see that, since the cost indexes are lower on the new system, being in the teens compared to always 55 on some NWA software. I would think they will waste more money training the majority of DL pilots (S guys) to the NWA system, and more paper, since I watched a DC-9 crew in MEM get their paper work last week and it seemed like a ton.
Saves more gas? Are they kidding? Maybe they should worry about some simple things first. I was on the ramp in MCO a couple of weeks ago. I was doing my walk around and saw three Airbuses with their APU's running and they all had air and power hooked up. I talked to one of the rampers and asked him if the DAL-N planes ever shut their APU's down. He said it's very rare and very annoying. They go through all the trouble to hook up the power and air and the crews never shut the APU's down. I also take Airbuses home all the time, and I have yet to see the crews do a single engine taxi. I know it's going to take some time to switch mindsets and habits, but it just seems like common sense to save fuel. Oh well...
Saves more gas? Are they kidding? Maybe they should worry about some simple things first. I was on the ramp in MCO a couple of weeks ago. I was doing my walk around and saw three Airbuses with their APU's running and they all had air and power hooked up. I talked to one of the rampers and asked him if the DAL-N planes ever shut their APU's down. He said it's very rare and very annoying. They go through all the trouble to hook up the power and air and the crews never shut the APU's down. I also take Airbuses home all the time, and I have yet to see the crews do a single engine taxi. I know it's going to take some time to switch mindsets and habits, but it just seems like common sense to save fuel. Oh well...
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