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Old 04-13-2007, 09:10 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Qualifications for A TSA Screener

THIS IS ABSOLUTELY UNBELIEVABLE!


Currently there are 275 airports hiring Transportation Security Officers (also called Screeners); with full time positions available from New York to Los Angeles and Hawaii, up in Alaska and down in the US Virgin Islands. Each job posting clearly states that multiple vacancies are available for each location. By searching the government job bank, it appears that there are over 900 TSO Screener positions currently available nationwide.

Duties of a Transportation Security Officer (Screener)
A TSO performs a wide variety of duties that are directly related to providing security and protection for travelers, airports and aircraft; including the responsibility of detecting and identifying dangerous objects in baggage, cargo or on passengers and preventing those objects from being transported. A TSO is required to perform various tasks such as:
  • Passenger and baggage screening.
  • Operate x-ray machinery, search wands and electronic and imaging equipment. wanding, pat down searches, operation of x-ray machines, lift and carry baggage (weighing up to 70 pounds), and screening and ticket review using electronic and imaging equipment.
  • Perform wand and pat down searches of passengers.
  • Provide information and direction to the public in a responsible and courteous manner.
  • Maintain focus and awareness in an stressful environment that is often chaotic and filled with distraction.
  • Lift and carry luggage and objects weighing up to 70 pounds. Remain standing for periods up to 3 hours.
  • Make effective decisions and employ conflict resolution skills.


Employment Requirements
Applicants must be a citizen of the United States or a U.S National and have a high school diploma, GED or recognized equivalent. If you do not possess the education component, you can still apply if you have at least one year of full time experience working as an X-ray technician, aviation screener or security officer. In addition to these two basic requirements, applicants will be required to meet the following employment conditions:
  • Demonstrate physical fitness to work on a daily basis without the aid of medication.
  • Work irregular hours and shifts, including holidays and weekends.
  • Pass drug and alcohol screening tests.
  • Pass background, criminal and credit checks.

If you want to learn more about the rigorous training for this position, check out my blog

Position Pay and Benefits
The TSA, via The Department of Homeland Security offers a competitive starting salary and the opportunity for pay raises and promotions to TSO Supervisor in a fairly short period of time. If you are searching for an entry level position in the federal government, these benefits may be the deciding factor for you:
  • Starting salary range of $23,600 to $35,400 (Federal Pay Band D)
  • Health insurance and retirement plans
  • Paid training
  • 2 weeks paid vacation each year
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Old 04-13-2007, 09:24 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Must have higher than a 3rd grade education.
Must have lower than a 10th grade education.
Interpersonal skills are not required.
Critical thinking skills are not required.

Specifically looking for police officers forced to resign.
Specifically looking for mall or retail security guard experience.
Specifically looking for persons with multiple grudges against humanity.

Pluses:
Does not mind the smell of sweaty feet.
Does not mind punishing the innocent and undeserving on an hourly basis.

If you can pronounce the following word: Chautauqua : then you are overly qualified and need not apply.

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Old 04-13-2007, 10:44 AM   #3 (permalink)
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I think I'm going to start doing that on my days off...then I can work for 2 TSA's!!!!
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Old 04-13-2007, 11:41 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Quagmire View Post
Must have higher than a 3rd grade education.
Must have lower than a 10th grade education.
Interpersonal skills are not required.
Critical thinking skills are not required.

Specifically looking for police officers forced to resign.
Specifically looking for mall or retail security guard experience.
Specifically looking for persons with multiple grudges against humanity.

Pluses:
Does not mind the smell of sweaty feet.
Does not mind punishing the innocent and undeserving on an hourly basis.

If you can pronounce the following word: Chautauqua : then you are overly qualified and need not apply.


HAHA....nice.
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Old 04-13-2007, 12:18 PM   #5 (permalink)
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So it is true that they make more than the pilots!
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Old 04-13-2007, 12:30 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by par8head View Post
So it is true that they make more than the pilots!

A McDonalds manager makes more than an RJ pilot. Absolutely ********ng incredible!!! http://www.charlottemathtutor.com/ht...mcdonalds.html
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Old 04-13-2007, 12:34 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Has anyone seen the TSA screener at DFW that is a big guy with a huge growth of elephantitus on his ear? Look out for him, he has a complex or something, because he always gives people trouble during screening.
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Old 04-13-2007, 01:09 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by texaspilot76 View Post
Has anyone seen the TSA screener at DFW that is a big guy with a huge growth of elephantitus on his ear? Look out for him, he has a complex or something, because he always gives people trouble during screening.
That's his way of getting back at people for teasing him all his life. He probably feels he has been given a raw deal in life so he is making it miserable for others while TSA security check officials pass through the check point carrying weapons to test how good the screeners really are. The sad thing is . . . .They can't get fired! It's government work.

Friday, March 30, 2007
TSA missed 90% of bombs at Denver airport

Undercover agents were able to slip bombs and IEDs past the Transport Security Agency checkpoint at Denver airport 90 percent of the time. Last time I was in Denver, the eagle-eyed agent was able to spot and confiscate my toothpaste, and of course, my suitcase arrived damaged, contents filthy, having been pawed at by a TSA goon and then improperly closed. These eagle-eyed guardians of freedom are so obsessed with making sure that we're all sharing our foot-funguses with each other on while our shoes go through the X-ray machine that they can't actually find actual bombs.

It's great that the TSA devotes all its energies to stopping the kind of ridiculous terrorist attacks that don't work, like shoe bombs and moisture bombs. Makes me feel much safer. I sleep better knowing that four-year-olds whose names sound vaguely like some terrorist's possible alias are kept off our planes.

In one test, sources told 9NEWS an agent taped an IED to her leg and told the screener it was a bandage from surgery. Even though alarms sounded on the walk-through metal detector, the agent was able to bluff her way past the screener...

Dzakovic was a Red Team leader from 1995 until September 11, 2001. After the terrorist attacks, Dzakovic became a federally protected whistleblower and alleged that thousands of people died needlessly. He testified before the 9/11 Commission and the National Commission on Terrorist Attacks Upon the US that the Red Team "breached security with ridiculous ease up to 90 percent of the time," and said the FAA "knew how vulnerable aviation security was."

Dzakovic, who is currently a TSA inspector, said security is no better today.

"It's worse now. The terrorists can pretty much do what they want when they want to do it," he said.
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Old 04-13-2007, 04:32 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default I'm BREATHING . . . . .!

I'm sure as a manager I can increase Denver's paultry 10% effectiveness performance by at least 30%. A 30% IN EFFECTIVENESS!!!!! WOW! That's worth at least a $250,000 bonus. And just think of all the lives I'll be saving. Maybe a bigger bonus then . . . .
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Old 04-13-2007, 05:22 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I wish I had a cushy government job that pays $250,000 bonuses.
Eh, I'll just tool around in a 30 million dollar jet for $21/hr instead.

Screw the TSA.... what a buncha high school dropout losers they are! Fire them all, and replace them with the national guard.
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