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Old 01-26-2016, 06:41 PM
  #24  
450knotOffice
Gets Weekends Off
 
Joined APC: Apr 2011
Posts: 1,533
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Originally Posted by Turbosina View Post
^^^^^

I'd also add:

1) Commuting to reserve will make you want to stab your eyes out with a rusty spork

2) After a particularly long trip in the shiny RJ, you will find yourself desperately longing for those days when you flew a beat-to-heck Seneca with 2 engines on fire through icing and TSRA+, because at least you were home most nights.

3) You will not think it ironic that you spent your whole flying career doing anything and everything to build hours...only to now turn around and do anything and everything to escape having to report to the airport and go fly a plane.

4) Remember when you secretly dreamed that your uniform would make guys want to be you and girls want to do you? Yeah...no. You're a bus driver in their eyes. That's it. And the guy who drove the bus that took you to the airport? He probably makes more than you.

5) If you assign a special ringtone to your airline's Crew Torture department, after a few weeks of abuse you will start to twitch uncontrollably when you hear the ring. If you happen to be snoozing in an airport immediately after your reserve shift has ended, while you're waiting to catch the +35 oversold flight home, and some passenger nearby happens to have the same ringtone go off... you may experience a psychotic break, a la Martin Sheen in Apocalypse Now.

6) Regional FAs are only hot after you've had three drinks. Maybe four. Sorry to spoil the dream...

7) When you wake up at 0430 in a panic, leap out of bed and into the shower, and only realize as you're frantically putting on your uniform that it's your day off, and you're not late for your showtime....then you know you've arrived.
Hilarious, man! You have a way with words.
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