Originally Posted by
Adlerdriver
Meh....
all that pilot stuff doesn't really matter.
Apparently we'll never believe we're stalled unless we get told repeatedly ahead of time.
Dammit.
That explains a lot.
Johnathan, you're stalling.
No, I'm not.
Everyone says that.
I know, but I'm not really stalling. I feel fine.
No, Johnathan. The airplane is stalling.
No, it's not.
You've exceeded your critical angle of attack.
No, it was just an argument. I'll buy her flowers later.
Johnathan, you're in denial.
It can't be. I'm thirty thousand feet over it. There it is, right there.
Johnathan, your nose is too high.
Have you been talking to my wife?
You need to take action soon, Johnathan. Lower your nose.
Ok, look, we've agreed to seek counseling, but I don't see how it's any of your business.
Johnathan, you're contending with confirmation bias. You're seeing what you want to see.
Well, we both are. It's an open marriage.
You think you're not stalling, but you are.
I might be delaying a little, that's all. I'm undecided.
Add some power, Johnathan.
So you're saying I should take back my masculinity?
Johnathan, you're not getting it. Look at your airspeed.
Ah, yes. There it is. Not even close to being overspeed. In fact, look how low it is. Nice and safe. Nothing to break here.
The airplane is buffeting, Johnathan.
Well, I do feel hungry. Good call.
Fly the airplane, Johnathan. Do your job.
No, need, thanks. I have this spiffy autopilot right here. It will tell me if something's wrong.
I'm telling you, Johnathan. Something is wrong. Something is very, very wrong.
Who did you say you are?
I'm your training, Johnathan.
Oh, that again. I finished all that, thanks. I became an airline pilot so I don't have to do that any more. A computer course, a quick spin in a sim, like a big video game. A lot like this, really.
You won't get to train again, Johnathan, because if you don't recover, there won't be any more agains.
That's a bit of a low blow. I'm recovering. My name is Johnathan, and I'm recovering. There's no such thing as recovered, you know.
Johnathan, push up the power, lower the nose, level your wings, and climb. We're going down.
Look, I know you're trying to help, but the airplane's just not doing what I want. I push this control, the airplane does that. I pull back, it doesn't go up. I roll left, the airplane starts to go right.
You're fully stalled, Johnathan.
No, I just think it's broken. I'm going to ask for another one.
It's a swept wing airplane, Johnathan.
It is clean, isn't it? And shiny.
It won't be for long, Johnathan.
I now, but they employee people to fix that.
You're employed to fix that, Johnathan. Do it. Do it now.
This flopping around is making me tired. I'm going to rest. You take care of it. In the meantime, just let me know if anything's wrong, ok?
Goodby, John.
Bye.