Originally Posted by
NuGuy
I would add, as Bucking said above, that if you can come to a mediated agreement, that’s obviously the preferred solution, but you have to close that out fairly rapidly.
The problem is that while your soon-to-be-ex spouse may be a rational person taken by themselves, as soon as the family/friends element kicks in, your hope is probably lost. The pinging, which goes on 24/7 of what they “should do”, is relentless. Of course, none of the people making those suggestions are on the hook for any of the consequences.
I’ve seen people on track to a mediated resolution have it all fall apart once the family/friend element got involved, and it turned into a multi-year train wreck where everyone came off worse.
Play to win. Once the fun starts, I’ve never seen any generosity repaid in kind. If you want to be magnanimous, there’s time for that after the decree is final.
Unfortunately I have already witnessed the influence of friends. To them it’s a great drama they get to be a part of but aren’t affected by. Mediation would be great but she is digging in her heels and going scorched earth so I don’t think it’s an option. So far any generosity has not been reciprocated. As somebody earlier said I need to start hardening my heart.