The Career Path of an Airline Pilot
30 years old: Join Company. World is your Oyster.
31 years: Buy Flashy Car, House and lots of toys.
32 years: Divorce boring first wife. Pay Child support and maintenance whilst looking for second wife. Drink lots of beer and screw around whilst looking for second wife.
33 years: Repeat as above for a few more years.
36 years: Marry young spunky 25 year old virgin flight attendant.
37 years: Buy another house. Gave first one to wife 1.
38 years: Give in to second wife to have more kids. Father again.
39 years: Now a Captain. Hooray! Upgrade house and buy boat and flashier cars.
42 years: Wife two runs off with wealthy banker but still wants share of house (100%).
43 years: Settle with wife and resolve to stay away from women forever. Seek appointment as Check Captain to have something to do. Move into two Bed Apartment.
50 years: Meet sexy singer on a trip. She loves you and says you are very "beeeg".
51 years: Marry sexy singer. Buy big house, boat and upgrade cars.
52 years: Sexy singer wants kids (not again). Resolve to get vasectomy.
54 years: Try to talk wife out of kids but hey presto she's pregnant. Says got sick after taking pill. Accident, sorry, won't happen again.
55 years: Father of triplets.
56 years: Wife wants very big house, bigger boat and very flashy cars. Give in.
57 years: Make rash investments to try and have enough money for retirement.
59 Years: Lose money on rash investments and get audited by tax department.
60 Years: Wife three says you too old and no fun. Leaves. Takes most of your assets.
61 Years: Now Captain on a non-sked 727 and living in 1 bedroom apartment underneath the approach to Miami International Airport.
65 Years: Lose medical and get job as sim instructor. Look forward to years of getting up at 1 AM.
70 years: Alarm clock goes off at 1 AM. Have heart attack and die.
Happy at last!