Originally Posted by pilot124

Good morning folks from the flight deck, welcome abord flight XXXX to PHL. Just so you are aware we are on reduced rest today after a 14 hour duty day yesterday. We are scheduled for 10 hours of duty today and you are on the third leg of five. It is day four, the weather is bad, bills are pilling up, the wife hates me, and I am an alcoholic. In the back we have Trixie and Dixie who hate life and feel like they look. Up front with me is Max the First officer. He makes about 23K a year, owes about 100K, is under appreciated, under paid, over worked, under represented, doesn't know what day of the week it is, hasn't seen his family in weeks, lives on water and snack boxes, and loves run on sentences. After Max does the walk around to wake up he will be flying you to PHL so he can hurry off the plane to try to catch his flight home to Denver to wash his clothes and be back the next day to do it all over again. In the meantime sit back, relax and enjoy the flight.

That will get peoples attention.