That's the problem with saying you are in love. Love is a terrible and good thing at the same time. We all know love is a great thing, but it can make you do some dumb moves in life. Depending on your age you need to forget about flying right now or at least just fly enough to stay current. AKA no more than a few hours every 90 days, just in case something does turn around. You need to clean up your debt! I don't care how much you say you love flying, when the your monthly bills are 3-4 times more than your monthly pay the love quickly ends. I have about a 1/3 the debt you do and I've decided to step away from the plane and pay it down. I figure I'll fly around 8-10 hours a month so just enough to stay current and proficient and still build time for an eventual return. You need to realize that you will have a chance to become a paid professional in the future just not right now. Your mind is set on the end goal and not on what's in front of you. Pay this debt down so you can reasonably enjoy making a meager salary, that way you will appreciate it so much more.