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View Full Version : Stories from the jump seat


jdebrey
08-11-2017, 02:35 PM
The good, the bad, and the ugly

Thought this might be a fun thread to start.

Feel free to post some stories you've had jump seating.


FMGEC
08-11-2017, 04:18 PM
The good, the bad, and the ugly

Thought this might be a fun thread to start.

Feel free to post some stories you've had jump seating.
As I was a young regional guy about x-number of years ago commuting on a mainline aircraft...
FO on the Airbus was chatting to me about how excited he was about getting his new personalized license plates coming for his new car.

You have to take in to perspective on how he loathed 'the Bus' and wished he could be back flying a 727.
He wrote down his new personalized plates for me on ACARS paper during this discussion.

It read (and I sheet you not)...

"3HOLER"

I cannot imagine the looks his wife got while she drove his car.

rickair7777
08-11-2017, 05:10 PM
Years ago, new regional FO, commuting transcon after a trip on a L-US bus...

It's Friday evening...

CA: So, you on your way home?
Me: Yup
CA: Been at work for a while?
Me: Couple weeks.
CA: Got a wife or GF?
Me: Yes, wife.
CA: Gonna hit the town when we get in?
Me: Yeah, she's gonna pick me up, then going out.
CA: Well, then we better get you in the right frame mind...

Out comes the tray table, the laptop, and the DVD collection of classic 70's porn.


Adlerdriver
08-11-2017, 05:53 PM
Jumpseating home to STL from ORD. I manage to get the last j/s on the last TWA 727 departure of the night. Every seat full in the back, standard 3-man crew up front with an AA guy and me in the tandem jumpseats behind the Captain. The crew welcomed me on board and I thanked them. The Captain was the typical old school 727 guy who'd been flying the old girl since disco reigned supreme and had no plans to change prior to retirement.

I was still a pretty new 727 FE at UAL. Since I was the last jumpseater to show, I had to sit directly behind the Captain. The seat was more elevated than the one behind me, less comfortable, less legroom and gave me a bird's eye view of the pilot's domain as well as the FE's panel. I spent some time marveling at the slightly more antiquated version of the FE panel currently in use at TWA but most of it was familiar. I had a chance to chat with the FE who had been in his current position a few years.

Ground ops were basically familiar and routine. The only thing of note was the 20 knot direct crosswind we were all launching into off runway 22L. This would become a major factor in the takeoff roll to come.

Before we go there, some additional info about the venerable 727 is in order. The number 2 center engine intake was called the "S-duct". This was the result of the intake being situated above the fuselage with the actual engine located well below the intake buried inside the center of the fuselage. The air entering the intake initially traveled straight aft followed by a turn downward and another turn back aft to hit the compressor. The air duct formed the approximate shape of a "S" (if viewed from the right side), hence the name.

It was common knowledge among 727 operators that the #2 engine did not take kindly to disrupted airflow down the S-duct at low speeds. The most common source of such disruption was a cross-wind. As the power came up and the hungry JT8D engines started sucking air down that serpentine path, the turbulent cross-wind combined with the less than optimum routing for the air could produce some spectacular compressor stalls.

The normal technique to combat this problem was called "dragging #2". Simply put, this meant increasing power on the #1 and #3 engines that did not have an S-duct while leaving #2 at idle. As the takeoff roll began and ground speed increased, the airflow down the S-duct would also increase and by 20 to 30 knots, the cross-wind effects were negated. Takeoff power could then be brought up on #2 to match the other engines and the threat of compressor stalls was diminished or often completely eliminated.

So, as a fully trained 727 FE, I was expecting to see some version of this procedure as we were cleared for takeoff from a dead start after holding in position. That did not happen and the fun began.

Perhaps it was a case of "last-leg-get-home-itis" or maybe "let's get dafuq outta here now", our crusty Captain cobbed the power up on all three engines simultaneously. A second later we were treated to the first of at least 3 spectacular compressor stalls that were audible all the way at our end of the jet. On the second "ka-pow", the engine failure light flickered, came on and then went out. The FO stated "engine failure" as procedure required just as the light was going out and "KA-BAM" number three was heard.

Another minor systems diversion is required. On the mighty, but somewhat thrust deficient 727-200, the auto-pack trip system had been installed to provide maximum thrust in the event of engine failure on takeoff. It was armed by the FE prior to takeoff and would automatically shut down both air-conditioning packs if thrust loss was sensed on any engine. This would halt any diversion of bleed air off the engines to run the packs and keep all the thrusties going out the back of the good engines for optimum takeoff performance.

So, back on our takeoff roll..... as we enjoyed our threesome of compressor stalls, the momentary loss of thrust on #2 which caused the illumination of the engine fail light had also dutifully signaled the auto-pack trip system to work as well.

About the time the air rush from the now dormant packs became non-existent, the Captain had figured out the #2 engine had not failed, was in fact delivering thrust and his forward panel looked normal, so he decided we were going flying. "It's fine!..... just the cross-wind.....we're going!"

Our speed now built past the maybe 10 knots we had attained as all this was happening. I looked over at the FE’s panel and noted a bunch of abnormal lights, including two tripped packs, at least one main generator off line and the cabin climb rate needle swinging to zero. About the time the Captain said, “We’re going!”, my head involuntarily tilted sideways as I did my best impression of a pig looking at a wrist watch. I'm pretty sure I remember hoping the other FE knew what to do. He paused for a moment and our eyes met for a second as he came to the realization that the train was leaving the station. He then got the “Holy sh!t, I gotta do some stuff fast” look and his hands flew across the panel in expert fashion returning it to normal ops in record time.


The biggest indicator he had been successful was the pack lights going out, the cabin rate needle making an audible “sproinnnnnggg” as it reversed directions and went to infinity as most of the air in the Chicagoland area was pumped into our jet in the span of about 2 seconds. Anyone with a free hand was pinching the crap out of their nose in a herculean effort to Valsalva fast enough to save our eardrums.


Sometime between second “Ka-Bang!” and “We’re going!” the FA call chimes from the back of the airplane started and continued for most of the takeoff roll. Once the packs started blowing our eardrums out, we couldn’t hear them or much of anything else and I’m pretty sure the FO had to hit the Captain on the arm and mouth the word “rotate” when it was time.


Things calmed down pretty quickly once we got airborne. I gave a thumbs up to the obviously competent FE and turned around to look at the other jumpseater. He simply shook his head and mouthed “What the fook” (or something similar). At the top of climb, the crew took a moment to discuss the event. Try as he may, I don’t think the FO was able to get the Captain to agree that maybe they should have rejected while they were still at about 4.6 knots. I couldn’t help myself and I managed to politely inquire about the possibility of “dragging #2” with such a cross-wind. The Captain replied, “Yeah, I’ve heard of that but I don’t like to do it. If I’m going to have a problem with an engine on takeoff, I want to know as soon as possible.”


Of course, I wanted to immediately respond by saying “Why would knowing sooner matter if you’re going to ignore the warning lights, FO call-outs and takeoff regardless?” But, I managed to bite my tongue as I pondered this logic, probably with the same look I had when the FE’s panel lit up like a Christmas tree. The rest of the flight involved calming the FAs via interphone, especially the one sitting under #2 who apparently was ready to raid the liquor cart by top of climb.


It wasn’t my first or last jumpseat with TWA, but I can safely say it was the most eventful by far.

CBreezy
08-11-2017, 06:09 PM
You win TL;DR of the century.

Csy Mon
08-11-2017, 06:44 PM
Good one Adler. Riding the jumpseat you must keep your mouth shut.
Once I was in the Flying Tiger JS taxing around SJU in a 747-200.
I knew the airport quite well and watched the Captain taxi the wrong direction on the wrong taxi way but could not speak up and be a back-seat driver. (No RWY incursion going on)
I did help out when they got really lost, but felt bad giving advise to God. (I was a lowly Twin Otter driver then and was not going to give flying lessons to the Tiger guys. Before CRM)

Another time, Pan Am 747-200 jumpseat.
Cleared to push and parking brake released before the INS switches was in the right position. I looked up and started moving my lips to say something, then the tug pushed us back, then 3 warning lights came on and we had to stop and start the INS operation over again, 15 minutes minimum.
We have all been there, done that and if I had said something sooner or faster, we would have arrived sooner.

A few years later I was also Captain on the old 747s and wish I had a jump seat guy who would shout INS before we pushed.. :rolleyes:

ShyGuy
08-11-2017, 08:47 PM
E175 jumpseat out of EWR we line up on 04L. Cleared for takeoff, the power goes up and just as it is set, there is a somewhat loud crashing noise behind us. I see an orb of light behind me (jumpseat locked and I'm obviously strapped in), it's clear that the FD door has swung open. The crew is aware and continue. We're rolling so I reach back while still belted and grab the knob and start to pull it to the close position. It was awkward in that I had no leverage, and probably looked like a contortionist with the arm looking like it was twisted in a way that shouldn't be. I bring the door to close but there is nothing to suggest it clicked or locked, so I'm still holding it as we accelerate. We rotate and of course the weight equation shifts straight back. Now I'm straining to hold the door in that awkward position with no leverage. About 700-800agl I quietly stated that I can't hold this. At 1000agl the CA asked if I had it in the closed position and I said yes. He pushed a button and then said I could let it go; at that point the door was locked.

SonicFlyer
08-11-2017, 08:55 PM
CA: Gonna hit the town when we get in?
Me: Yeah, she's gonna pick me up, then going out.
CA: Well, then we better get you in the right frame mind...

Out comes the tray table, the laptop, and the DVD collection of classic 70's porn.

I could imagine the NTSB hearing that on the CVR lulz :D

jcountry
08-12-2017, 02:04 AM
I junpseated on delta flight a while back....

These two guys were having some strange contest to see who's kid was smarter.

It began with SAT scores.
It progressed to ACT scores.
Of course, it hit all the GPA highlights for each year in high school.

I couldn't decide whether it was more funny or sad.

I thought they were gonna Rochambeau to break the tie.

DickBurns
08-12-2017, 05:32 AM
On a Continental 737 jump seat in 2007. I was a brand new FO that came from flying cargo. It was probably my first or second time ever riding in a jump seat and I was still pretty clueless. The Captain was a Texas good ol boy, complete with $#!t kickers and his FFDO weapon. As soon as the door closed, he took his pistol out of his bag, slammed it on the glare shield, turned around and said " Dick, do you know what a rodeo f#¢% is?" Evidently he had just heard of this practice and wanted to know if it was a real thing. He turned out to be a funny dude, but had me planning my escape at the beginning.

PotatoChip
08-12-2017, 06:40 AM
E175 jumpseat out of EWR we line up on 04L. Cleared for takeoff, the power goes up and just as it is set, there is a somewhat loud crashing noise behind us. I see an orb of light behind me (jumpseat locked and I'm obviously strapped in), it's clear that the FD door has swung open. The crew is aware and continue. We're rolling so I reach back while still belted and grab the knob and start to pull it to the close position. It was awkward in that I had no leverage, and probably looked like a contortionist with the arm looking like it was twisted in a way that shouldn't be. I bring the door to close but there is nothing to suggest it clicked or locked, so I'm still holding it as we accelerate. We rotate and of course the weight equation shifts straight back. Now I'm straining to hold the door in that awkward position with no leverage. About 700-800agl I quietly stated that I can't hold this. At 1000agl the CA asked if I had it in the closed position and I said yes. He pushed a button and then said I could let it go; at that point the door was locked.

Ive done this at least three times in various airframes. MD-80 was the worst in my experience.

oracle21
08-12-2017, 07:30 AM
I flew for a small freight carrier and decided to use the jumpseat privilege for the first time to go to Anchorage to visit a buddy. On a 747-4 cargo version, sitting in one of the 4 seats in the bubble for takeoff. All of the seats were occupied by pilots of that airline heading to ANC for work. I introduced myself before takeoff and got settled in for the 6.5hr flight. After takeoff, I must have dozed off. It was about 3am. All of the sudden I hear the chime and all of the lights come up in the cabin. As if in a dream, I see all of the guys stand up and they start unbuttoning their shirts and taking off their pants!! I must have had a very confused/scared look on my face because one of the pilots asks me if this is my first time? I'm only able to shake my head, he laughs as does the others, and says well then you get to eat the cookie! He then quickly explains they are changing into more comfortable clothes for the long flight. I was super embarrassed by my naïveté but also laughed my butt off.
After the FO had changed, the Captain came back and asked how we were all doing. He was this 6 foot 7" tall, built like a body builder African American. He heads into the lav with a bag. About 5 minutes later, he walks out wearing red silk pants, red silk long sleeve button down shirt, and a long red cap that hung down to his waist with a white cotton ball at the end. We all busted up laughing. He smiled, gave us a wave like Forrest Gump and headed back to his throne. I fell in love with freight operations after that!

N19906
08-12-2017, 09:11 AM
Great stories, Alder & Oracle. I like this thread; reading APC often makes me wince, but you had me laughing out loud! :D

2StgTurbine
08-12-2017, 09:15 AM
Great stories, Alder & Oracle. I like this thread; reading APC often makes me wince, but you had me laughing out loud! :D

Don't worry, soon someone will mention facial hair, a contentious merger, or god forbid, strobe light policy and APC will return to normal.

jcountry
08-12-2017, 10:16 AM
I flew for a small freight carrier and decided to use the jumpseat privilege for the first time to go to Anchorage to visit a buddy. On a 747-4 cargo version, sitting in one of the 4 seats in the bubble for takeoff. All of the seats were occupied by pilots of that airline heading to ANC for work. I introduced myself before takeoff and got settled in for the 6.5hr flight. After takeoff, I must have dozed off. It was about 3am. All of the sudden I hear the chime and all of the lights come up in the cabin. As if in a dream, I see all of the guys stand up and they start unbuttoning their shirts and taking off their pants!! I must have had a very confused/scared look on my face because one of the pilots asks me if this is my first time? I'm only able to shake my head, he laughs as does the others, and says well then you get to eat the cookie! He then quickly explains they are changing into more comfortable clothes for the long flight. I was super embarrassed by my naïveté but also laughed my butt off.
After the FO had changed, the Captain came back and asked how we were all doing. He was this 6 foot 7" tall, built like a body builder African American. He heads into the lav with a bag. About 5 minutes later, he walks out wearing red silk pants, red silk long sleeve button down shirt, and a long red cap that hung down to his waist with a white cotton ball at the end. We all busted up laughing. He smiled, gave us a wave like Forrest Gump and headed back to his throne. I fell in love with freight operations after that!



Good one!

Very nice!!

RI830
08-12-2017, 10:24 AM
The Captain was this 6 foot 7" tall, built like a body builder African American. walks out wearing red silk pants, red silk long sleeve button down shirt, and a long red cap that hung down to his waist with a white cotton ball at the end. We all busted up laughing. He smiled, gave us a wave like Forrest Gump and headed back to his throne.

When did Shaft upgrade to 74 Captain?!?!

Count Dracula
08-12-2017, 11:16 AM
Early 90's I requested a JS on a Spirit DC9 from PHL-MCO. As I locked & loaded into the stirrups, the crusty Captain handed me the High Chart & asked me if I would highlight the route to MCO. No problem....then after liftoff, he fired up a chain smoke that continued for the next two hours to MCO. After reaching cruise, he then asked me to update a Jepp revision he had in his bag. Last JS I requested on Spirit...[emoji51]


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

PotatoChip
08-12-2017, 11:43 AM
United A320 jumpseat DEN - SFO about eight years ago:

Get to cruise, 45-year-old-ish captain turns around and says, "So who do you work for?"

"Air Wisconsin."

"Never heard of them."

"Really? We flew for you for the last thirty years. We are literally the first code-share in history, United and Air Wisconsin. Until recently, United even owned us."

"Nope. Never heard of them. And I don't get it, why do you work there?"

"What?"

"I mean, why don't you just work here? I don't get why you guys go work at these no-name places."

"I'm sorry, are you serious?" I look at the FO who mouths I'm sorry.

This degrades into my needing to explain that there is a thing called the regional airline industry thanks to something called scope, and not all of us were so fortunate to get hired at United at age 23.

She never did get it.

ShyGuy
08-12-2017, 12:05 PM
Early 90's I requested a JS on a Spirit DC9 from PHL-MCO. As I locked & loaded into the stirrups, the crusty Captain handed me the High Chart & asked me if I would highlight the route to MCO. No problem....then after liftoff, he fired up a chain smoke that continued for the next two hours to MCO. After reaching cruise, he then asked me to update a Jepp revision he had in his bag. Last JS I requested on Spirit...[emoji51]


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

the Mack Attack? He was infamous :D

worstpilotever
08-12-2017, 12:05 PM
Js to bkk on UAL long time ago. Capt tells us as we get off the plane....make sure you double bag it.

crxpilot
08-12-2017, 02:08 PM
Approx 20 years ago, United 737 SMF-LAX. Middle of flight CA looks over at FO and asks him if he had recorded something in the logbook. He tells her something to the effect that he thought she did already. She then points to her boards and condescendingly tell him that is his job, not hers.
Poor guy, didn't say another word and sitting in the middle of that made for awkward conversation.

rickair7777
08-12-2017, 04:09 PM
Js to bkk on UAL long time ago. Capt tells us as we get off the plane....make sure you double bag it.

Probably sage advice.

RI830
08-12-2017, 05:40 PM
Ages ago when I was commuting from DFW-SJU.
I would ride with UPS via SDF. Getting to DFW around 8pm for the 8:45 A300 flight the Jumpseat lady is all worked up saying she was trying to find me cause they had to take away my jumpseat for some UPS DH's but there was room on the 8:10 dept on the 747.

We storm out of the office into the van and out to the plane. I drop my crap at the bottom of the stairs, run up to the main cargo deck and round the corner for the stairs up to the cockpit. Manage my way up find the Capt all strapped in and ready to push. Asked for a ride and he says "absolutely your you better hurry and tie up you bags down stairs.

So I scream down the ladder from the cockpit and down to the ground. Snagged my bags and hurddled up the stairs into the nose forward of the cargo bins to tie up my bags. Just as I was pulling the knot on my kit bag, there was a pronounced slam of the door to the cockpit closing and the lights went out.

Now the state of darkness in that cargo deck was only rivaled by the darkness before God created the sun. As I mimed my way around the cargo bins we started pushing back. After a few mins of wrastling my way around the bins and half way up the ladder.....the cockpit door opens and shines down the face of the FE with a "Sorry bout that!!"
One of the other Jumpseaters had tipped off the FE that there was "that other jumpseater" still down there.

I was thinking about how much of that cargo deck I could explore in the dark between DFW and SDF

shreddykreuger
08-12-2017, 06:11 PM
This thread is great.

Jumpseating on UAL years back when I was a young and very new to the industry. Get my boarding pass and head down near the end of boarding. I'm standing in the jetway about to walk on the aircraft, and just as I'm midstride I hear a scream "WAIT!!!" And look up to see the captain moving towards me with his hands outstretched. I thought I did something aggregious and literally stopped with my foot halfway down, mouth agape. The captain walks right up to me, bends down and grabs a penny off the ground right under my barely lifted foot. He holds it up to my face and says "son, that was a heads, you're never going to make it in this business"



Another one: my favorite brieifing as I occupy the Jumpseat commuting to work one week. I introduce myself and settle in. The captain finishes his brief and looks back and me and asks if I've been up front in this type before. I answer yes, to which he responds "ok well then you know the drill. If you see anything you don't like, I expect you to keep your mouth shut and die like a man"

Adlerdriver
08-12-2017, 06:41 PM
Since CBreezy has a millennial's attention span, I'll try to keep this one shorter. ;)

Not my personal story, but passed on from a bud a few years back......

727 with a crew that's been flying together all month long on the same line. My friend is in the back jumpseat ready to go. It becomes apparent that the A-flight attendant (40 years seniority.... cat lover.... hasn't smiled at work since summer of '69) has pushed the pilots past the edge over the last few trips. Revenge has been plotted.

She calls to bring up breakfast. Once delivered, the Captain takes a serious tone and informs her of a hydraulic problem. Prior to her arrival, the FE has turned off the electric hyd-B pumps resulting in some warning lights. The Captain points out the lights as evidence of the problem. He then says it's probably best if he just shows her the problem......

He asks her to move over to the left side of the flight deck near the side wall. As she does, he uses control wheel steering with his knees via the autopilot while he and the FO's hands are no where near the controls to have the aircraft begin to bank to the left. "Whoa, Whoa, ok... move back to the center", he says with some urgency (bringing the jet back to wings level with his knee again).

"Ok, so you see what we've got going on..... We're ok to continue to Denver, but we're going to need to you the stay in the center of the jet. The FO and I balance, the SO and the jumpseater balance. The FAs in the back will be working the aisle, so they're in the middle. You're the only one who may throw this thing off. Just keep to the middle of the aircraft and we'll be fine. She leaves looking concerned but ready to help.

As soon as she does, the FE is up looking through the peephole in the door. He points left or right as required watching the "A's" movements while the Captain banks the aircraft to match them. She does her entire service holding the galley divider wall and leaning in with her feet on centerline reaching for drinks and trays.

They never told her....... (probably a good idea). :D

RI830
08-12-2017, 07:03 PM
Absolutely classic creativity to enact sweet revenge on the cat lady!

busdriver12
08-12-2017, 07:46 PM
Another one: my favorite briefing as I occupy the Jumpseat commuting to work one week. I introduce myself and settle in. The captain finishes his brief and looks back and me and asks if I've been up front in this type before. I answer yes, to which he responds "ok well then you know the drill. If you see anything you don't like, I expect you to keep your mouth shut and die like a man"

I got a similar briefing recently, but I wouldn't call it my favorite. Jumpseating on a company aircraft recently, I got the usual, "If you see something, say something" briefing from the captain. And generally, people actually mean it, because our main goal is to get the job done and stay out of trouble, particularly since we fly plenty of nights and are often tired. He ended the briefing with, "Of course, we can tell you to shut the f... up!" and laughed hysterically.

Umm....he obviously doesn't know me. It's impossible for me to shut the f... up if I see something going wrong. And I would ALWAYS want my jumpseaters to speak up if they saw something concerning. These are not the old days.

Adlerdriver
08-12-2017, 08:36 PM
He ended the briefing with, "Of course, we can tell you to shut the f... up!" and laughed hysterically. Dude...lighten up. :rolleyes: He started laughing after he said it because it was a joke. Just like the guy in Sheddy's story.

busdriver12
08-12-2017, 09:24 PM
Dude...lighten up. :rolleyes: He started laughing after he said it because it was a joke. Just like the guy in Sheddy's story.

Actually, I'm pretty laid back and all for a good laugh, but if you were there, you would realize it was not a joke. Uncomfortable....:eek: The fo didn't say a word and didn't even smile. I recognize a joke, and this comment was said with venom.

NoDeskJob
08-13-2017, 04:43 AM
Couple years ago I was riding on a B6 320 from DEN-BOS (I was working for B6 at the time). It was a fairly senior crew; both 40ish to 50ish years old male Capt and female FO.
We were chatting, having a good time...The female FO had mentioned her "partner" or "spouse" numerous times, but not the partner's sex. Finally I ask, "what does he or she do?"
She turns to face me and says "What do I look like, a dike?! I know my hair is short, but come on!" She then started laughing hysterically; then we all did.
That's what I get for trying to be politically correct and not assume a sexual preference. We laughed about it for 100 miles.

trip
08-13-2017, 07:41 AM
Years ago in the DL jumpseat, me a lowly turboprop F/O.
We level off and Cpt Crusty turns around and points to a big book, 'grab that book will you',
Ok here you go Capt. Capt lays in down in my lap and says 'teach me something' I thought he was kidding, nope he's serious.
So we learned about the 737 flaps that day.

flensr
08-13-2017, 10:10 AM
Years ago in the DL jumpseat, me a lowly turboprop F/O.
We level off and Cpt Crusty turns around and points to a big book, 'grab that book will you',
Ok here you go Capt. Capt lays in down in my lap and says 'teach me something' I thought he was kidding, nope he's serious.
So we learned about the 737 flaps that day.

I've seen that technique in the military, both in fighters and in the UPT world. Last time I saw it widely used was in a UPT instructor training course, where the PIT instructors were having the instructor trainees both learn something and practice their instructional technique. Plus the PIT IP got a quick refresher, and sometimes they dug up something unusual that led down another instructional path.

Dougdrvr
08-13-2017, 10:25 AM
Me and the FO raced to the gate to JS home on an Ozark DC-9. Gate agent hurries us down the jetway to find it retracted about 3 feet from the cabin door. Agent apologizes just as the cabin door opens again and the Captain slides open his window, leans out, and says, "Jump for it. You can make it ." And we did.

MN8V8R
08-13-2017, 04:15 PM
Got the second jumpseat on a CAL 737 about 15 years ago. Doors closed. Jetway pulled back. It was a madhouse getting settled down but as we finally got things calmed down and I sat down, we realized the airplane didn't actually have a second jumpseat. Call the jetway back, disarm the doors, get off the plane. That was a bit of a walk of shame in front of the FC passengers.

TransWorld
08-13-2017, 06:34 PM
Me and the FO raced to the gate to JS home on an Ozark DC-9. Gate agent hurries us down the jetway to find it retracted about 3 feet from the cabin door. Agent apologizes just as the cabin door opens again and the Captain slides open his window, leans out, and says, "Jump for it. You can make it ." And we did.

Good old greenies. (For you younger folks, the Ozark colors were green on white). Used to fly a lot of 'milk can runs' up and down the Mississippi River. Minneapolis to St. Louis was a 4 stop (or was it 5?) trip. Every small town (now EAS) dropped 3 or 4 passengers. Picked up 8-10. 15 minute turns, if things worked well.

Made money. DC-9 was about the biggest. Barnstorming. All manual flying. Take off to landing in about 20 minutes. Ah, those were the days! Miss them? Not so much!:D

galaxy flyer
08-13-2017, 06:38 PM
And those were the -9 routes! How 'bout the FH-227 ones?

GF

RJSAviator76
08-13-2017, 06:52 PM
One of my first Southwest jumpseat rides back during my cargo days before 9/11, I'm sitting up front. The captain and FO are passing titty pics back and forth... I'm thinking damn, these guys have some cojones, I hope the FA doesn't see them. Now the A flight attendant was absolutely gorgeous... she comes up to see if we want something to drink, and here I am thinking "Oh crap!! BUSTED!!!" The captain merely passes her the picture and asks her what she thinks? She looks at the picture, checks her own and says "Mine are better... I'll prove it to you at the bar tonight." Different times....

TransWorld
08-13-2017, 07:08 PM
And those were the -9 routes! How 'bout the FH-227 ones?
GF

They generally landed on paved county roads. Of course, you had to observe stop signs where two county roads crossed. Those county deputy sheriff tickets for failure to come to a complete stop were a b**ch to explain. jk ;)

terminal
08-14-2017, 03:30 AM
I've seen that technique in the military, both in fighters and in the UPT world. Last time I saw it widely used was in a UPT instructor training course, where the PIT instructors were having the instructor trainees both learn something and practice their instructional technique. Plus the PIT IP got a quick refresher, and sometimes they dug up something unusual that led down another instructional path.

Yeah it is a great technique....
in FLIGHT SCHOOL.

In the jumpseat it is pure condescension.

Rolf
08-14-2017, 11:09 AM
UAL Captain delayed his 74, 25 minutes to make sure my family and I got on. We were going home to say goodbye to a sick parent and I won't ever forget the kindness him and his crew showed us.

todhog2
08-14-2017, 12:31 PM
Got the second jumpseat on a CAL 737 about 15 years ago. Doors closed. Jetway pulled back. It was a madhouse getting settled down but as we finally got things calmed down and I sat down, we realized the airplane didn't actually have a second jumpseat. Call the jetway back, disarm the doors, get off the plane. That was a bit of a walk of shame in front of the FC passengers.

I got the second j/s on a Pan Am 737 one night trying to get home for Christmas. Same thing, no second jump seat. By the time I got in the cockpit the cabin door was closed and we were pushing. First jump seater turns around says "I guess you'll have to sit on your suitcase." So I did. The good old days.

IAHB756
08-14-2017, 03:19 PM
1998. I'm a new EMB-120 FO trying to get to CLE via ORD on a Continental 727 jumpseat. Crew chatting and going through their briefs. Lead FA walks in (a skinny, flamboyant male named Michael) and says "hi guys, I'm Michael! Captain, do you have anything for me?" Captain, turns in his seat, pulls his reading glasses down a bit, audibly grunts and turns back around. Michael walks out. 15 minutes later, after a couple of young, cute FA's have come and gone asking the engineer this and that about temp/dinner etc and getting lots of attention from the two forward facing pilots; in comes the lead once again (Michael). This time he states: ". Okay, I know...I'm not blond and young and female, but I'm what you get tonight. Do you have an brief? If not I'm cool with standard". The captain turns around and no kidding, without missing a beat says "you know Michael, your right. You will do. I'm going to fu€k you anyway".
Keep in mind I had just finished Indoc at Continental Express and had a lot of CRM/sexual harassment training fresh on my mind. The other two pilots snickered and Michael just turns around and walks out. Different times....

Speedbird2263
08-14-2017, 04:02 PM
This thread is pure gold.

A few years ago as a younger regional FO, I got done with a trip just in time to marathon walk it over to the gate going ATL-FLL on SWA. I make it just in time to check-in to realize that I had a few minutes after all, due to the flight running a little late. I catch my breath, grab some grub and go incognito. I return only to realize there's been a gate change and there's another Jumpseater standing at the new gate with paperwork in hand. We were both OAL and I knew the flight was full so I was a little anxious seeing as I had been there first, but with new gate and new agent I couldn't be sure they knew I was first in line so I made sure to check. The Agent tells me all was well and sent me down to take a seat just in case and if needed they'd call me up.

I head onboard, introduce myself and take a seat. Sure enough they call me up at the end of boarding and as I'm making my way up I see the other Jumpseater and jokingly thought "I'm much bigger than him(6' 4", 250+) I think I can take him". As I quizzically look back and forth from him and the agent he realized the gears slowly turning and says "I can't believe it either but there are actually two JS up there." As I my mouth drops with concurrent raising of the eyebrows, the Captain hears the exchange turns around and chuckles "alright Tiny you get to choose". I didn't believe it was possible but we both shoe horned in and "settled" in. After climb out through 10,000 and what seemed like an eternity but probably was only 15mins, I had seen enough stars and rainbows to pipe up and ask the Capt if he was ok with me standing in the galley. Fortunately, I was able to spend the rest of the flight till TOD sitting in front of the R1 on a galley Atlas compliments of the lead FA. The obligatory double take from folks heading out of the lav was a source of amusement. Good times.

Turbosina
08-14-2017, 05:38 PM
Possibly the best thread of all time...

There I was in the J/S of a SWA 73. We're in level cruise at FL410. Super senior CA, FO on his first trip off IOE. They get to talking about the hand-flying qualities of the bird, and the FO comments that in the sim they'd practiced autopilot failures at this altitude, and that it was 'super squirrely.' 'Hope I never have to bother with that on the line' says the FO.

'Why wait?' says the CA, who promptly turns off the A/P. The FO gasps and turns it back on. CA immediately turns it back off. The next 5 minutes were interesting to say the least, as the poor FO struggled to hold some semblance of a constant altitude.

Hate to see the ASAP report if there'd been a loss of separation on the other aircraft that went by underneath us at FL 400 going the opposite direction...

ShyGuy
08-14-2017, 05:46 PM
Possibly the best thread of all time...

There I was in the J/S of a SWA 73. We're in level cruise at FL410. Super senior CA, FO on his first trip off IOE. They get to talking about the hand-flying qualities of the bird, and the FO comments that in the sim they'd practiced autopilot failures at this altitude, and that it was 'super squirrely.' 'Hope I never have to bother with that on the line' says the FO.

'Why wait?' says the CA, who promptly turns off the A/P. The FO gasps and turns it back on. CA immediately turns it back off. The next 5 minutes were interesting to say the least, as the poor FO struggled to hold some semblance of a constant altitude.

Hate to see the ASAP report if there'd been a loss of separation on the other aircraft that went by underneath us at FL 400 going the opposite direction...

I kinda agree with the CA. Transport category aircraft = you should feel comfortable to handfly it at any altitude and that will help when the day comes the AP kicks off.

Turbosina
08-14-2017, 06:10 PM
I kinda agree with the CA. Transport category aircraft = you should feel comfortable to handfly it at any altitude and that will help when the day comes the AP kicks off.

Yeah, I just felt sorry for the poor FO. After 5 minutes his shirt was soaked with sweat and it was pretty chilly up front. Plus, in RVSM airspace, our opspecs require the A/P to be engaged. Not sure about SWA?

rickair7777
08-15-2017, 08:06 AM
Almost forgot about this one but I guess it qualifies, long time ago, galaxy far, far away...

I'm a military small-unit team leader (also a civilian student pilot). For operational reasons, we had a C-141 dedicated to our mission, which had just wrapped up in the desert. Return to SOCAL involved a fuel/rest stop in southern Spain. We had about 20 hours on the ground. My guys wanted to take a train somewhere, but I wasn't in the mood so I hung out with the pilots. AC was a guard-baby ART, copilot was a younger 1st LT TR. Copilot turned in early but AC and I stayed out. Dinner typically started about 2200, and then clubs opened at midnight...fun was had by all, met some nice lady lawyers from Madrid (AC spoke a bit of spanish), and many hours (and beers) later the four of us were lounging on the beach in some state of undress watching the sun rise over the med. AC says, well we better get back to the plane. So we caught a cab back to the air base.

Back then as the supported team leader I had free access to the cockpit, and was in the habit of watching T/O and LDG. Everybody gets strapped in, and off we go (copilot was apparently well rested and sober). Climbing out, AC looks at me and says you going to sleep? I said probably not for a couple hours. He says OK cool, I'm going back to the bunk...sit here and take the controls and keep climbing. So that was my first time actually flying a jet (under the watchful eye of the copilot). Different era.

C130driver
08-15-2017, 08:57 AM
One of my first Southwest jumpseat rides back during my cargo days before 9/11, I'm sitting up front. The captain and FO are passing titty pics back and forth... I'm thinking damn, these guys have some cojones, I hope the FA doesn't see them. Now the A flight attendant was absolutely gorgeous... she comes up to see if we want something to drink, and here I am thinking "Oh crap!! BUSTED!!!" The captain merely passes her the picture and asks her what she thinks? She looks at the picture, checks her own and says "Mine are better... I'll prove it to you at the bar tonight." Different times....

Now this is the airline life I've heard stories of! Today the Captain would have been publically defamed on every media outlet, forced to undergo a month of diversity training and the FA would have probably won thousands of dollars in a settlement...

Sliceback
08-15-2017, 09:32 AM
Anyone have a secure site where we can tell the stories that are only safe to tell after we've retired? :D

tomgoodman
08-15-2017, 12:12 PM
Anyone have a secure site where we can tell the stories that are only safe to tell after we've retired? :D

After showing a retiree the "Big Picture", they escort him to a soundproof room for this. ;)

jcountry
08-15-2017, 02:50 PM
Now this is the airline life I've heard stories of! Today the Captain would have been publically defamed on every media outlet, forced to undergo a month of diversity training and the FA would have probably won thousands of dollars in a settlement...

That's no joke.

I have stories I won't tell here. Even just 20 years ago, this industry was a hell of a lot more fun ;)

RhinoBallAuto
08-15-2017, 04:21 PM
That's no joke.

I have stories I won't tell here. Even just 20 years ago, this industry was a hell of a lot more fun ;)

This statement sounds like something you'd hear in a Ready Room

putzin
08-16-2017, 05:45 AM
I kinda agree with the CA. Transport category aircraft = you should feel comfortable to handfly it at any altitude and that will help when the day comes the AP kicks off.

True, but it shouldn't have been done in that fashion.

flyguy81
08-16-2017, 06:55 AM
Now this is the airline life I've heard stories of! Today the Captain would have been publically defamed on every media outlet, forced to undergo a month of diversity training and the FA would have probably won thousands of dollars in a settlement...

I've been flashed by SWA FA's in the bar on overnights recently. God bless 'em

Dougdrvr
08-16-2017, 09:04 AM
I got the second j/s on a Pan Am 737 one night trying to get home for Christmas. Same thing, no second jump seat. By the time I got in the cockpit the cabin door was closed and we were pushing. First jump seater turns around says "I guess you'll have to sit on your suitcase." So I did. The good old days.

Had a nearly identical experience the day after Braniff shut down. Had a job interview the very next day and United was still honoring our ID for JS. Got a JS on a United 727 and had the second seat on a full flight when another UA pilot steps into the cockpit just before push and tells me I have been bumped. Capt turns around and says "stay here and make yourself small". Spent the entire flight standing up. (and I got the job, for the next 20 years) Never forgot those guys.

Sliceback
08-16-2017, 09:18 AM
I think the record number of jumpseaters I've heard of was 5 - 727 transcon. Two in the jumpseats, two in the main cockpit area sitting on suitcases, with one using the door as a back rest, and one behind the F/E's panel.

rickair7777
08-16-2017, 09:27 AM
I've been flashed by SWA FA's in the bar on overnights recently. God bless 'em

Which overnights were those? :D

272922
08-16-2017, 10:00 AM
Possibly the best thread of all time...

There I was in the J/S of a SWA 73. We're in level cruise at FL410. Super senior CA, FO on his first trip off IOE. They get to talking about the hand-flying qualities of the bird, and the FO comments that in the sim they'd practiced autopilot failures at this altitude, and that it was 'super squirrely.' 'Hope I never have to bother with that on the line' says the FO.

'Why wait?' says the CA, who promptly turns off the A/P. The FO gasps and turns it back on. CA immediately turns it back off. The next 5 minutes were interesting to say the least, as the poor FO struggled to hold some semblance of a constant altitude.

Hate to see the ASAP report if there'd been a loss of separation on the other aircraft that went by underneath us at FL 400 going the opposite direction...
On a similar, non JS note....

Head a story about a crew at my airline where the Captain was a bit of a prankster, and also liked to invite the FAs up to chat and look around. With one particular FA this Captain told her that the way to unlock the door to leave was via the A/P Disconnect Bar on the glareshield (CRJ). FO was in on it apparently because he would just keep his hands on the controls when said FA would disconnect the A/P.

So that trip ends, and apparently said FA ends up in the Flight Deck on the next trip with a different crew. Goes to leave the Flight Deck, and all hell breaks loose.

I head the first Captain got to keep his job, but just barely.

NeverHome
08-16-2017, 10:01 AM
Which overnights were those? :D

Never pays to slam-click.

Of course I could be misinterpreting the meaning of slam-click :D

flyguy81
08-16-2017, 12:54 PM
There's a reason PM crews are more fun 😉

SHFP
08-16-2017, 05:55 PM
Since all (except myself) have gone West, I will post. It was the ending of the "good ole days". An "Early Bird" with only one PAX onboard (the FO's wife that had her Private License). Nice layover the night before with the whole crew. Takeoff with anyone who wanted to see. Next thing I know the wife gets into her husband's (FO's) seat. Soon anyone who wants to be FO gets to fly (except me the probationary SO). Interesting times back then. Always had fun with Guns and/or Girls onboard. Different times...before the PC crowd shutdown O Clubs and Layovers.

Check 6

Sliceback
08-17-2017, 08:31 AM
There's enough stories about non pilots hand flying airplanes. Even in this thread. And others have witnessed it and seen non pilots do a good job maintaining altitude.

And many of us have hand flown jets at altitude for hours with the a/p MEL'd or when it failed. Or flown airplanes, like the 727, especially the 727-100, which were less stable than the current generation at altitude. The 727-100 felt like it was hunting a bit at altitude. Anyone remember getting Dutch roll training on the newer jets? On the 727 it was part of the training syllabus. I don't know if the 727 was more susceptible to Dutch roll but modern jets are a lot more stable at altitude IMO.

So it's saddening to read about a professional pilot sweating about hand flying at altitude. It's a nuisance to hand fly at altitude but guys need to know they can do it and that it's not that tough (see comment about non pilots flying). Doing it for the first time when the heart rate is already elevated because of another problem might not be the best plan. How much of the high altitude upsets over control issues are related to lack of familiarity with high altitude control sensitivity?

Spudhauler
08-17-2017, 10:40 AM
There's enough stories about non pilots hand flying airplanes. Even in this thread. And others have witnessed it and seen non pilots do a good job maintaining altitude.

And many of us have hand flown jets at altitude for hours with the a/p MEL'd or when it failed. Or flown airplanes, like the 727, especially the 727-100, which were less stable than the current generation at altitude. The 727-100 felt like it was hunting a bit at altitude. Anyone remember getting Dutch roll training on the newer jets? On the 727 it was part of the training syllabus. I don't know if the 727 was more susceptible to Dutch roll but modern jets are a lot more stable at altitude IMO.

So it's saddening to read about a professional pilot sweating about hand flying at altitude. It's a nuisance to hand fly at altitude but guys need to know they can do it and that it's not that tough (see comment about non pilots flying). Doing it for the first time when the heart rate is already elevated because of another problem might not be the best plan. How much of the high altitude upsets over control issues are related to lack of familiarity with high altitude control sensitivity?

Controlling the plane with the autopilot off is one thing, but no one is cruising around in RVSM airspace without a functional autopilot.

Turbosina
08-17-2017, 12:10 PM
There's enough stories about non pilots hand flying airplanes. Even in this thread. And others have witnessed it and seen non pilots do a good job maintaining altitude.

And many of us have hand flown jets at altitude for hours with the a/p MEL'd or when it failed. Or flown airplanes, like the 727, especially the 727-100, which were less stable than the current generation at altitude. The 727-100 felt like it was hunting a bit at altitude. Anyone remember getting Dutch roll training on the newer jets? On the 727 it was part of the training syllabus. I don't know if the 727 was more susceptible to Dutch roll but modern jets are a lot more stable at altitude IMO.

So it's saddening to read about a professional pilot sweating about hand flying at altitude. It's a nuisance to hand fly at altitude but guys need to know they can do it and that it's not that tough (see comment about non pilots flying). Doing it for the first time when the heart rate is already elevated because of another problem might not be the best plan. How much of the high altitude upsets over control issues are related to lack of familiarity with high altitude control sensitivity?

Well yes, but...hand-flying at FL410 with a fully loaded airplane in RVSM airspace (we had plenty of opposite direction traffic at FL400) is just begging for a loss of separation...

DustoffVT
08-17-2017, 12:26 PM
Years ago, new regional FO, commuting transcon after a trip on a L-US bus...

It's Friday evening...

CA: So, you on your way home?
Me: Yup
CA: Been at work for a while?
Me: Couple weeks.
CA: Got a wife or GF?
Me: Yes, wife.
CA: Gonna hit the town when we get in?
Me: Yeah, she's gonna pick me up, then going out.
CA: Well, then we better get you in the right frame mind...

Out comes the tray table, the laptop, and the DVD collection of classic 70's porn.

Full disclosure: not jumpseating, but F/O for this one. Flying with the captain that everyone avoids for dinner. Small 121 supplemental so I'd flown with him a lot. My GF at the time was a Delta FA.


CPT: "We're friends, right?"
Me: "Sure, Sean"
CPT: "If you had naked pictures of your girlfriend, you'd show them to me, right"
Me: "no"
CPT: "Well, I'd show mine to you."
Me: No answer

10 seconds later, a stack of about 100 pictures lands in my lap. I try to hand them back to no avail - some things cannot be unseen. Still amazed to this day he had them in his jepp bag.

Al Czervik
08-17-2017, 03:02 PM
Cargo 727 jumpseat into PHX at 0400 about 5 years ago. Great crew explaining all about the 727. After being given a crossing restriction the CA turns around and asks me "want a leisurely descent or you want to see us unwind this thing?"
I had no idea a plane that size could come out of the sky like that.

tunes
08-17-2017, 03:34 PM
Controlling the plane with the autopilot off is one thing, but no one is cruising around in RVSM airspace without a functional autopilot.

i've flown from the west coast to hawaii without an auto pilot in RVSM....rare? sure, but to say it never happens is disingenuous

hilltopflyer
08-17-2017, 03:59 PM
i've flown from the west coast to hawaii without an auto pilot in RVSM....rare? sure, but to say it never happens is disingenuous

How is that legal? Never done etops stuff so I don't know those rules.

Spudhauler
08-17-2017, 04:01 PM
i've flown from the west coast to hawaii without an auto pilot in RVSM....rare? sure, but to say it never happens is disingenuous

Not sure who you fly for, but I don't know a single commercial airline whose MEL would allow this. I guess I should have specifically said no airline. Better?

rickair7777
08-17-2017, 04:12 PM
i've flown from the west coast to hawaii without an auto pilot in RVSM....rare? sure, but to say it never happens is disingenuous


MEL, or enroute failure? Not much choice if it failed over water, might not have the gas at FL280.

I think if it's an MEL, you have to coordinate with ATC in advance to fly in RVSM airspace.

Would it be very hard? No. Annoying maybe.

tunes
08-17-2017, 04:21 PM
MEL, or enroute failure? Not much choice if it failed over water, might not have the gas at FL280.

I think if it's an MEL, you have to coordinate with ATC in advance to fly in RVSM airspace.

Would it be very hard? No. Annoying maybe.

en route. coordinated with oakland and told them we lost the autopilot and were unable rvsm, asked if we could stay at current altitude and they said yes.

hilltopflyer
08-17-2017, 04:36 PM
en route. coordinated with oakland and told them we lost the autopilot and were unable rvsm, asked if we could stay at current altitude and they said yes.

That's a different story. Not a planned no autopilot rvsm flight.

captjns
08-17-2017, 06:44 PM
en route. coordinated with oakland and told them we lost the autopilot and were unable rvsm, asked if we could stay at current altitude and they said yes.

Depends on the time of day and the part of the world.

On another world how many are old enough to remember jump seating on MGM Grand Air, pre DC-8, when the only birds were the 727 JFK - LAX. Oh well stuck in the jump seat. Non stop food from T/O to Ldg. Salad with cold filet and lobster, main cooked sirloin steak to order, then a hot fudge sundae with all the fixings. Then the crew meals?:mad:

galaxy flyer
08-17-2017, 07:35 PM
Did ya get a breadstick or a cognac?

At EAL, we had an F/E, very senior and had finished the F/O sim, but not the bounce drill, so still flying in the back seat due to lack of crew. Anyway, waiting the push, the two-digit seniority captain tells him to get in the right seat and the F/O to the panel. All a joke, when a FAA inspector walks in asking for the jump seat to BOS. Right seater starts to stand, cappy waves to sit. Off they push, our erstwhile F/O expects to do the radios and sit quietly. Line up, captain says, "your plane" and off they go in impromptu line training with pax and FAA in attendance. Inspector's only comment was the "F/E" was kinda rough. I got the story from the acting F/E who said he couldn't remember anything about the panel and was just a flurry of hands reacting.

Ah, the good days when flying was fun.

GF

Aqua
08-17-2017, 08:19 PM
I was traveling with my F/A wife, on her airline. It was a full flight and I needed to get back to work, whether or not she got on.

The gate agent knew the situation, and at push minus 10 or so sent me to the cockpit. Good luck, honey!

After greetings and permission were complete I was sitting in the back of the cockpit(727). Next I hear "whoa, check this out", "is she one of ours" and so on. I look through the windshield, and seeing my girl through the terminal window, state "easy guys, that's my wife". They roar, enjoying their funny jumpseater. Fun moment; I let it roll.

Shortly after, wife sticks her head in the cockpit "I got a seat, glad we'll get home together!"

Quieted right down. Mumbled apologies. Told them quite alright, but no layover stories!

hilltopflyer
08-18-2017, 06:19 AM
I was traveling with my F/A wife, on her airline. It was a full flight and I needed to get back to work, whether or not she got on.

The gate agent knew the situation, and at push minus 10 or so sent me to the cockpit. Good luck, honey!

After greetings and permission were complete I was sitting in the back of the cockpit(727). Next I hear "whoa, check this out", "is she one of ours" and so on. I look through the windshield, and seeing my girl through the terminal window, state "easy guys, that's my wife". They roar, enjoying their funny jumpseater. Fun moment; I let it roll.

Shortly after, wife sticks her head in the cockpit "I got a seat, glad we'll get home together!"

Quieted right down. Mumbled apologies. Told them quite alright, but no layover stories!

Pics of her or it's an all made up story. (Kidding)

Unpilot
08-18-2017, 09:35 AM
I missed my first flight from ORD-DEN but I see a delayed UAL DC10 that is still at the gate so I hustle over. The 90 year old gate agent looks like her dog just died. She informs me in no uncertain terms that "I ain't getting on this flight because she ain't gunna let me" in addition she tells me "I am tired of you pilots walking up at the last minute thinking you can just walk on the plane"

I am a OAL jumpseater so have no illusions about any leverage I have.

I walk away and notice the crew through the terminal window I catch the captains eye and hold up my id and make a jump motion with my other hand. He holds up one finger indication hang on a sec. About a minute later the Capt comes out of jetbridge and motions my over.

Gate agent turns four shades of red as he tells her I am riding with him on his plane.

Got a seat and a ride to work. Ever since as a Capt I try and stroll looking for any pilots left behind.

BiloxiJack
08-18-2017, 10:31 AM
can you please elaborate on the hand signaled jump seat motion? i have been trying to think of one for years

I missed my first flight from ORD-DEN but I see a delayed UAL DC10 that is still at the gate so I hustle over. The 90 year old gate agent looks like her dog just died. She informs me in no uncertain terms that "I ain't getting on this flight because she ain't gunna let me" in addition she tells me "I am tired of you pilots walking up at the last minute thinking you can just walk on the plane"

I am a OAL jumpseater so have no illusions about any leverage I have.

I walk away and notice the crew through the terminal window I catch the captains eye and hold up my id and make a jump motion with my other hand. He holds up one finger indication hang on a sec. About a minute later the Capt comes out of jetbridge and motions my over.

Gate agent turns four shades of red as he tells her I am riding with him on his plane.

Got a seat and a ride to work. Ever since as a Capt I try and stroll looking for any pilots left behind.

Swedish Blender
08-18-2017, 10:39 AM
Cargo 727 jumpseat into PHX at 0400 about 5 years ago. Great crew explaining all about the 727. After being given a crossing restriction the CA turns around and asks me "want a leisurely descent or you want to see us unwind this thing?"
I had no idea a plane that size could come out of the sky like that.

About 20 years ago flying 727s for a 121 supplemental freight company, center asked us how long we could stay up before we absolutely had to start down. We told him if he could clear us for the straight in visual and to land we'd show him.

Stayed at 270 until the airport went under the nose and down we went. Needless to stay, they were all surprised.

sflpilot
08-18-2017, 12:19 PM
I was commuting back home after finishing late in the day, LGA-FLL on B6 about 6 years ago. I don't remember if it was a line check or ioe but the captain wanted to me to ride in the FA jumpseat. There was a B6 gate agent that was non reving riding in the other seat in the aft galley. He informed me that his girlfriend was in a cabin seat. Once the FA's left the area to do the service he proceeded to start drinking as much alcohol from the cart as he could without them noticing. Once he was fairly hammered I noticed his girlfriend come back and say something to him and then she entered the aft lav. About 30 seconds later he gets up and goes in the same bathroom. They both came out about 10-15 minutes later. So basically I had just witnessed an employee join the mile high club in full uniform. He continued drinking the rest of the flight. I was right behind him walking into the terminal in FLL when he starts stumbling around and goes flying over a row of chairs and face plants into the floor. The FLL gate agents were speechless but apparently no one said anything because I saw him on the job in LGA a few weeks later.

MiLa
08-18-2017, 12:46 PM
I was on a Comair jumpseat when I was still in new hire training at my former regional. During cruise the capt got into how she knew all these ways take someone down and proceeded to make a karate chop motion back towards me as if she were going to hit my throat. Then she talked about her guns and how she wasn't afraid to kill someone if she had to. I thought all this was pretty strange. Then she went on to talk about her bunker and how she would get her truck there when anarchy came, the grid meltdown, or the apocalypse or something... and yes she didn't say IF but WHEN... The poor FO who had to continue the trip just sort of agreed along and nodded his head.

intrepidcv11
08-18-2017, 01:25 PM
I was a brand new eager and def dumb commuter guy headed down jetway to ask for JS. Capt and FO were engaged in less then pleasent conversation in jetway about ALPA election at CAL. Capt glared at me and said "You want to jumpseat, well where is your tie?"

I was lost as policy was business casual as I was dressed, no tie. Told him I didn't have one and as far as I knew there were plenty of seats in back anyways. He scowls at me and says "you are young so just remember for next time if you are gonna be an airline pilot act like one." Mind you this dude was well over 250 with his shirt back hanging out his 10 year old polyester pants. FO comes up to me after capt storms off to tell me somewhat nervously I did nothing wrong in his opinion. Despite my 'unprofessionalism' I got a seat in back.

Two weeks later I show up in the peak of spring break to JS on full DAL 767 in Miami. Wore a tie just in case. As soon as turned corner into cockpit to ask capt for a ride, the FO does a double take and firmly says "take that ***** tie off and you can gladly ride with us." Ended up being a great ride. Proved to be a fine example of the difference between a normal cool guy flying the line and a SCAB.

crxpilot
08-18-2017, 02:05 PM
Years ago I was commuting on a Southwest flight in uniform. I had checked in with the Captain and the flight was fully boarded and waiting for the FO to show up from someplace else at this point for about 15-20 minutes. I had been standing out in the jetbridge and popped into the front lav to pee. Well as I am in the lav the Captain came back out to stand in front of the cabin to announce on the PA that the FO would be there in just a moment and they would finally be on their way, much to everyones great relief. So a moment later I popped out of the front lav only to be "applauded" for the mistaken FO who was going to get them on their way. I waved and motioned "not me, not me" ,slightly embarrassed, but found it funny in hindsight later. Ha!

flyguy81
08-18-2017, 05:28 PM
Back when I was a new hire I was commuting on my 2 days off over Xmas time. We weren't CASS yet so we had to have a seat in back. SWA flight fills up and the jumpseat was empty. Cap'n calls ops to see what he could do. Was told no go since we weren't CASS. I said thanks for trying and started walking off when he stopped me. Started talking to the gate agent and then tells me to take off me ID, epaulets and tie and follow him. Told me I was now a company FA and I'd be in the aft jumpseat for the ride home. Helped pass out nuts, drinks and collect trash and made it home for Xmas.

jdebrey
08-18-2017, 05:30 PM
They generally landed on paved county roads. Of course, you had to observe stop signs where two county roads crossed. Those county deputy sheriff tickets for failure to come to a complete stop were a b**ch to explain. jk ;)




If true, this is legendary. This thread has exceeded my expectations ten fold.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Unpilot
08-18-2017, 05:44 PM
can you please elaborate on the hand signaled jump seat motion? i have been trying to think of one for years

Umm make like your fingers are walking ...then jump?

Unpilot
08-18-2017, 05:49 PM
One time in DTW after a 4 day trip right before the Christmas holiday rush I am trying to make a SWA flight that is at a different Terminal.

I talk one of the tug guys into driving me across the ramp with me holding my trip bad and wheelie bag. He pulls up to jet bridge and I scramble up just as F.O. is finishing his walk around. F.O. says "trying for the J/S? I say yep...He says take a seat in back I will let the Capt. know.

Never talked to gate agent and I thanked the Capt after we landed at MDW.

Pre 9/11 of course

captjns
08-18-2017, 05:49 PM
Did ya get a breadstick or a cognac?

Ah, the good days when flying was fun.

GF

Breadstick? Yes. Cognac not until it was delivered upon my exit from the jet. It was poured into a ziplock bag and given in a "Special" thank you for flying MGM bag.:). Yep... thems were the days. Still can't get cognac on DAL though:mad:

TransWorld
08-18-2017, 05:55 PM
If true, this is legendary. This thread has exceeded my expectations ten fold.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Okay, I admit I stretched the truth just a wee bit. But the smaller Ozark planes did stop at airports that today are not even EAS, just general aviation. Control towers? Did not exist at some of them. Been there done that in private aviation planes, even today. But they were hauling paying passengers.

As a side note, Branson, Mo (the second Nashville, as they call it today) had an airport in the early 1960s. Literally a regularly mowed field. I don't think Ozark served them, but periodically private planes landed there.

flensr
08-18-2017, 06:05 PM
Controlling the plane with the autopilot off is one thing, but no one is cruising around in RVSM airspace without a functional autopilot.

Except for the mil planes with waivers, who don't know any better, or who don't give a dang. Plus/minus 200' is mil standard no matter what your excuse is. Can't hold altitude, ask for a block. Step aside, superpower coming through :) Easy to get spoiled living the thug life.

rickair7777
08-18-2017, 06:17 PM
Okay, I admit I stretched the truth just a wee bit. But the smaller Ozark planes did stop at airports that today are not even EAS, just general aviation. Control towers? Did not exist at some of them. Been there done that in private aviation planes, even today. But they were hauling paying passengers.

SKW (and presumably other regionals) routinely fly jets in and out of non-towered airports today. They have to have ARFF, but they meet that requirement by locating the town's fire station on the airport.

wankel7
08-18-2017, 06:21 PM
Wow, the 727 sounded like a good time!

TransWorld
08-18-2017, 07:16 PM
SKW (and presumably other regionals) routinely fly jets in and out of non-towered airports today. They have to have ARFF, but they meet that requirement by locating the town's fire station on the airport.

As an example, Ozark flew into Cairo, IL. The runway is 4000'x100'.

I don't know if they ever had a fire station at the airport, if they did it has long been abandoned. Back then, population was 9,000. Today it is 2,000.

It is 30 miles from Cape Girardeau, Mo which is a EAS. Cape metro population is 60,000.

Talk about picking up milk cans!

Spin
08-18-2017, 07:41 PM
I think the record number of jumpseaters I've heard of was 5 - 727 transcon. Two in the jumpseats, two in the main cockpit area sitting on suitcases, with one using the door as a back rest, and one behind the F/E's panel.

Well, I remember when I was a DC-9 F/O in the early 90's one day we took seven jumpseaters in the cockpit.

galaxy flyer
08-18-2017, 07:51 PM
The Ozark F-27s went into such metropolises as Mattoon and Danville, IL. They introduced DC-9 non-stop CMI-LGA, big stuff. I flew a Southern Air Martin from Memphis to Tupelo to Columbus, MS once. Certainly VFR.

GF

Turbosina
08-18-2017, 08:28 PM
Well, I remember when I was a DC-9 F/O in the early 90's one day we took seven jumpseaters in the cockpit.

How is that even possible??

Chakerik
08-18-2017, 08:34 PM
How is that even possible??

He's joking

contrails
08-18-2017, 11:32 PM
I'll relay this which was seen by a friend of mine, and roommate at the time, who probably doesn't read this forum. It was more than a decade ago. At that time, he shared with me a short video clip from his camera of this, having only snuck in a few seconds of footage just to show me later on as he knew I wouldn't believe it unless I saw it.

Northwest A320, late morning flight, SFO-DTW.

My friend sits down in the jumpseat for the ride mostly across the country. The F/O goes to open his chart case to pull out his Jepps and cannot seem to remember the numeric passcode.

It's the standard setup: one set of four digits to the left of the handle, and one set of four digits to the right.

He tells the captain he somehow cannot remember the code, and they make it work and share the captain's paper charts on the center console for the departure from SFO.

Reaching cruise altitude, the F/O figures if he isn't going to remember the code that he'd been using for who knows how long, he might as well start trying. He stows the tray table and lays the nylon chart case down over his lap.

0-0-0-0.

0-0-0-1.

0-0-0-2.

Nevada passes beneath.

1-6-7-8.

1-6-7-9.

1-6-8-0.

There goes Utah.

2-2-5-6.

2-2-5-7.

Hey look, the Rockies!

4-0-1-3.

4-0-1-4.

4-0-1-5.

Nebraska . . . darn it, why can't I remember that code?

5-2-3-1.

5-2-3-2.

5-2-3-3.

Iowa . . . hey need a lav break? Still haven't gotten that code yet?

5-9-3-5.

5-9-3-6.

5-9-3-7.

Nice view of Chicago, mind the dome light on?

6-6-3-9.

6-6-4-0.

Well hey look, I've got the arrival out here, if you want to take a look if you haven't figured that thing out yet . . . Polar arrival to the ILS 22R, we'll expect . . .

7-0-1-3.

7-0-1-4.

I'll sit e'm down and kiss 'em goodbye in the back, got the radio for a minute?

7-0-3-5.

7-0-3-6.




Somewhere on the arrival, dusk turning to night, after 1800NM of flying, the F/O spun the digit and the latch popped open.

I don't remember the number and I don't think my friend even knew what it was but it was in the thousands; this had been going all the way across the USA with very few breaks.

Exasperated, he spun in the same number on the other side and dropped the chart case back down beside the seat, shaking his head.

Captain said something to the effect of, "Oh good, at least you got it before we got in. Better write it down somewhere."


Ya can't make this stuff up.

tomgoodman
08-19-2017, 06:30 AM
Behind the DC-9 CA seat was a small hatch leading to the electronics compartment below. A slim F/O hid there inflight, and the CA called a F/A to the cockpit and said: "He went back to the rest room a long time ago. Tell him to get back up here." Of course they couldn't find him, and when they frantically returned to report that he wasn't aboard...:D

freezingflyboy
08-19-2017, 06:33 AM
I'll relay this which was seen by a friend of mine, and roommate at the time, who probably doesn't read this forum. It was more than a decade ago. At that time, he shared with me a short video clip from his camera of this, having only snuck in a few seconds of footage just to show me later on as he knew I wouldn't believe it unless I saw it.

Northwest A320, late morning flight, SFO-DTW.

My friend sits down in the jumpseat for the ride mostly across the country. The F/O goes to open his chart case to pull out his Jepps and cannot seem to remember the numeric passcode.

It's the standard setup: one set of four digits to the left of the handle, and one set of four digits to the right.

He tells the captain he somehow cannot remember the code, and they make it work and share the captain's paper charts on the center console for the departure from SFO.

Reaching cruise altitude, the F/O figures if he isn't going to remember the code that he'd been using for who knows how long, he might as well start trying. He stows the tray table and lays the nylon chart case down over his lap.

0-0-0-0.

0-0-0-1.

0-0-0-2.

Nevada passes beneath.

1-6-7-8.

1-6-7-9.

1-6-8-0.

There goes Utah.

2-2-5-6.

2-2-5-7.

Hey look, the Rockies!

4-0-1-3.

4-0-1-4.

4-0-1-5.

Nebraska . . . darn it, why can't I remember that code?

5-2-3-1.

5-2-3-2.

5-2-3-3.

Iowa . . . hey need a lav break? Still haven't gotten that code yet?

5-9-3-5.

5-9-3-6.

5-9-3-7.

Nice view of Chicago, mind the dome light on?

6-6-3-9.

6-6-4-0.

Well hey look, I've got the arrival out here, if you want to take a look if you haven't figured that thing out yet . . . Polar arrival to the ILS 22R, we'll expect . . .

7-0-1-3.

7-0-1-4.

I'll sit e'm down and kiss 'em goodbye in the back, got the radio for a minute?

7-0-3-5.

7-0-3-6.




Somewhere on the arrival, dusk turning to night, after 1800NM of flying, the F/O spun the digit and the latch popped open.

I don't remember the number and I don't think my friend even knew what it was but it was in the thousands; this had been going all the way across the USA with very few breaks.

Exasperated, he spun in the same number on the other side and dropped the chart case back down beside the seat, shaking his head.

Captain said something to the effect of, "Oh good, at least you got it before we got in. Better write it down somewhere."


Ya can't make this stuff up.

Loving this thread!

Had a similar thing happen to me personally except I knew exactly the code I wanted, it just wasn't working! It was the street number of the house I grew up in. A number that had been drilled into my brain from the moment I could comprehend language. A number that was probably part of my DNA.

My first thought was "oh crap. I grabbed the wrong flight kit getting off the hotel shuttle!" But nope. A quick check of the bag stickers and I was sure this bag was mine.

I tried every possible combo i could think of on either side of what i knew the combo to be. "I know the first digit is a 2. Let me try 1 and 3..." etc. Crap departure time is creeping up! I guess well settle this in flight. The FO pulls out the taxi diagram and SID and puts them in the middle for us and off we go! Settle into cruise for our two-ish hour flight and I get to work. Luckily mine was only three digits. After about 35 minutes one side finally pops open in the 700s. Yes, victory!!! Alas, my triumph is short lived. I have the same problem on the other side but am running out of time and patience. I tried that side for close to an hour but eventually ended up prying the remaining side open with a gear pin.

The best explanation I can come up with is that in the crush of bags, the cheap mechanism (push one way to unlock but push the other to reset the code!) on my bag got smashed in an awkward way and the code got changed. Oh well...life on the airways!

Dolphinflyer
08-19-2017, 08:56 AM
Sometime early 90's. I was a Fokker100 FO.
We had an FMS box where if one typed the approach set up sequence out of order somehow, both boxes would fail and I believe it would take out the ND magenta line guidance for several minutes before resetting. It was a long time ago, some software issue I believe.

I then end up riding in the jumpseat of a Lufthansa Airbus into Hamburg Germany late one night with low triple digit meters vis in fog. Very nice crew, decent aviation conversational English.

On descent, the FMS entries seemed very similar to the F100. I asked the FO if they had the same failure problem if X,Y,Z,F,U was pressed. To my surprise as we descended below 10K, he quickly types in the sequence while I'm thinking "don't do that" as CA "Fritz" slowly looked over with the same look as mine, unable to stop FO "Franz" from hitting "Execute" (or whatever the Airbus entry is).

Sure enough, both FMC's puke and take out the approach magenta display. CA "Fritz" starts yelling at FO "Franz", "Franz" starts yelling at "Fritz", Hamburg Approach "Hans" starts yelling at "Franz" and "Fritz", they yell back, all in high speed P.O. German like a scene from the bridge in "Das Boot" as they crash dive the U-Boat. Me? I'm looking around for an empty rivet hole to crawl out of.

I think with the vectors out of sequence and back to the approach took about 25 minutes. Walking out of the terminal with 150 grumpy Germans, my wife (who was riding in back) asked what took so long. "errr, uhh.....I'll tell you later".:D

Lemon Jello
08-19-2017, 09:02 AM
Jump seating on a cargo 727 to SFO. First officer's leg, and for the full four hours plus enroute he was bemoaning the fact that he hadn't had a decent landing the entire trip. He was determined to grease this one one and spent the last hour or so prior to top of descent talking about being on profile and stabilized and all of that. Around the Modesto VOR, the captain reaches down by his flight bag and pulls out a sketch pad and a pencil and starts drawing. He's drawing with enough flourish that the FO notices and asks him what he's drawing. "Oh, nothing, sometimes I just like to dabble in the arts". Just prior to 10,000 feet, the captain finishes and puts the pad down. So we're descending over the bay, slowing down, getting configured, things are looking real good for the approach and landing. At about 500 above touchdown, the captain says "hey Mike, check this out". He's holding up his sketch pad on which he created a really excellent rendering of a safe falling out of a second story window and crashing on the sidewalk below. The FO says "Son of a bit€*!" and proceeds to make, according to the captain, his worst landing of the week.

LATIN
08-19-2017, 09:35 AM
In a unknown airline in the United States, onboard a Airbus A320, im in the jumpseat, the meals come out, we all eat.

Captain: Hey bud, can you sit on my seat, im going to do Yoga .

Me: ok

Captain: You know how to work the radios right?

Me: Sure captain

Captain: gets out of chair, proceeds to do an hour worth of yoga, while i work the radios on the left seat of the airbus .

At the time i had just finished my ATP , and type rating, had not even done IOE at my first airline.

Cool experience tho.

RI830
08-19-2017, 10:05 AM
Got about 20 mins of left seat time in the 777 about the same way.
Think the captain was taking his morning constitutional instead of yoga.

freezingflyboy
08-19-2017, 10:35 AM
Got about 20 mins of left seat time in the 777 about the same way.
Think the captain was taking his morning constitutional instead of yoga.

I think on the 777 they call that the $100 poop.

ysslah
08-19-2017, 10:36 AM
When I was a lowly regional FO, I was commuting on my own company airplane. The captain, a big greek dude, started showing me and the FO pictures of his daughter. He told us she was 15 or 16... somewhere around there. She did mature well ahead of the pack and had a lot of talent. And all of said pictures were of her in very revealing bikinis and in poses that would be found on Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition. He kept going "Isn't she really pretty?" over and over again. All I could think of was the face of Chris Hansen.

Adlerdriver
08-19-2017, 11:03 AM
I was stationed in Europe flying F-15s in the early 90's. Another pilot and I were traveling by ourselves to Turkey on a Lufthansa A320 for a deployment. During the flight, the line to the aft restrooms was long and I made my way forward to use the one there. As I exited, I ran into the FA in the galley. I told her I was a USAF pilot and asked if I might be able to see the flight deck. She knocked, entered, came back out and held the door open for me. I'm pretty sure we were traveling in civilian clothes and I know I never showed any kind of ID. A different time for certain.

I entered, introduced myself and had about a 10-15 minute chat with the guys while they showed me around the first airline cockpit I had ever visited. I thanked them and was about to leave when the Captain said, "When we turn the seatbelt sign on during descent, come on back up and you can sit in the jumpseat for the landing". Very cool.

My cohort and I were in the window and aisle seats in the same row with no one in between us. I had the window, so he swapped and put me on the aisle so I could make my exit easily at the right time.

"Ding!" ...... comes as we descend into Istanbul and I'm up like I've been shot out of a cannon. According to my buddy, the woman across the aisle from me practically had a heart attack since I guess she assumed I either had bad intent or was urgently needed on the flight deck. Either way, she was a basket case until we touched down. Oops. :o

Looking back it was a very eye opening experience for me. The whole auto-throttles wiring the speed blew my mind, never mind the fact that they didn't move. I couldn't believe how far down the runway we landed (normal touchdown zone landing) since my "normal" was trying to hit the first 500 feet.

Red Forman
08-19-2017, 11:22 AM
Was on a Republic E-175 commuting to JFK and the entire way the Captain and FO are talking about actively cheating on their wives. I think that I'm going to get wrapped up in their bad karma and we will crash and the poor wives last memories of their husbands will be of them cheating on them.

Was on an old Southwest 737 that didn't have GPS and and ATC keeps on trying to give them direct. After several "unables" the Captain gets out his handheld VFR Garmin and starts accepting direct the rest of the flight.

I got to ride up front on one of UPS's last DC-8's trying to get home. The flight had been delayed and I wasn't going to have much time to switch planes in Rockford to make it home. The Captain asks if I was in a hurry and when I said I was he told the FO to fly the clacker the entire way so they could make up some time and give me a better shot for my last chance to get home. I ended up beating the crew to the airplane in Rockford.

crbnftprnt
08-19-2017, 03:19 PM
About 20 years ago flying 727s for a 121 supplemental freight company, center asked us how long we could stay up before we absolutely had to start down. We told him if he could clear us for the straight in visual and to land we'd show him.

Stayed at 270 until the airport went under the nose and down we went. Needless to stay, they were all surprised.

At my airline we had a DC-8 simulator instructor who had a fun little demonstration. He would have the airplane at redline airspeed at the outer marker and successfully land it. Now of course this was a simulator stunt only; the real airplane would have come apart. The DC-8 has no speed brakes; it is certified to use inboard thrust reversers inflight. (The outboard reversers are locked out unless the gear is down.) So at the marker he would throw down gear and full flaps and go to full reverse on all 4 engines. He always got it on the ground, on speed.

Turbosina
08-19-2017, 04:47 PM
This is literally the best thread of all time...

pilot207
08-19-2017, 05:29 PM
Was a regional FO at the time and was sitting up front on a HAL A330 to the islands. Sitting in the JS , the captain bust opens his crew and pulls out his Nutribullet blender. Proceeds to plug it in the outlet in the cockpit and starts blending his green drink away. He said he needed to juice and was on a detox diet. Just another ocean crossing over to the islands !

Turbosina
08-19-2017, 05:52 PM
Riding up front on a mainline widebody transcon. Crew meals are served. The CA takes two bites of his and throws down his silverware in apparent disgust. So he hits the FA call button. 'I need you in the flight deck.'

Lead FA appears. CA shoves the tray at the FA. 'This meal is incorrectly spiced!' he thunders. The FA gives him a look. 'I'm sorry, Captain? It's what?' CA repeats (louder this time): 'I SAID IT'S INCORRECTLY SPICED! I DON'T WANT IT!!'

The FA takes the tray and retreats, silently. A few minutes later the CA goes to use the lav. The instant the flight deck door closes, the FO turns to me and says 'This is Day 3. I don't know if I'm gonna make it to Day 4. I think I'm gonna kill him. Or if I don't, the FAs will!!'

But hey, I did make it to work on time...

UAL T38 Phlyer
08-20-2017, 02:55 AM
About 15 years ago, I'm doing a transcon redeye commute home on another Legacy. Full in back; I'm up front on the 757.

Did full credentials with the Capt in the bridge. When I get on the flight deck, it's already rigged dim. The FO and I do a quick intro; he's busy doing preflight stuff.

Takeoff, get to altitude. Start typical conversations. Someone asks about background. I said some civilian and mostly mil. Capt asks what aircraft, and I listed the four types I flew, including the F-4.

FO perked up and says "Really? So did I!!" The F-4 was becoming enough of a rarity at this point that it was fun to run into another guy who had flown it.

"Where did you fly it?" I asked. When he said the base....it was my base. "What squadron?" Holy crap! MY squadron.

"When were you there???" :eek::eek: He was there the same years as me!! Why don't I recognize this guy??

"What was your name again?"

He told me, and I tried to hide my shock. The guy I knew was a rail-thin long distance runner. But now? His MTOG had increased to the point that I only knew it was him by his name.

To be fair, it had been about 12 years since we'd seen each other. Then again, he didn't recognize me until I said my name again. But I didn't get fat....must have just gotten uglier. :D

badflaps
08-20-2017, 08:49 AM
Force fed geese in a box, that's what we are.:D

Dougdrvr
08-20-2017, 11:18 AM
Meal time on 727, senior FA that started on props (but is still in remarkably good shape) brings up two trays for me and the Captain. S/O is brand new, handsome lad, but looks like he's twelve. FA says it may be a while before she can get back to him, but as she leaves, she brushes her boobs on his back and says "Don't worry, I'll come back and breast feed you."

Was quite a while before the Capt and I could breathe again :))

WhistlePig
08-20-2017, 12:57 PM
SKW (and presumably other regionals) routinely fly jets in and out of non-towered airports today. They have to have ARFF, but they meet that requirement by locating the town's fire station on the airport.

Pitt-Greenville (KPGV) comes to mind as a current served airport

Spin
08-20-2017, 02:10 PM
He's joking

No, I'm not.
One in the jumpseat, two standing behind each pilot seat, one on my flight bag, and one more on the captain's flight bag.

badflaps
08-20-2017, 04:03 PM
Pitt-Greenville (KPGV) comes to mind as a current served airport

During the controller strike many airports had vacant towers. Center to fix, proceedure turn out and in, mike click for rabbit and lights. One night in MGM had a no light opposite direction DC-4 over the top while landing.:eek:

SurferLucas
08-20-2017, 08:14 PM
Y'all boys haven't lived till you've talked a FA into dropping down to her skivvies and walking all the way up and down the length of the aircraft topless...:D

(This was in the past 6 months, Repo Flight with FA's on board)

(and sorry, no pics...that was the only stipulation she imposed)

Crazy Canuck
08-21-2017, 05:11 AM
AA Jumpseat:

CA: "nice to meet you 'XYZ FO' before we get going I just wanna clarify something. I'm super laid back, and I'm ALWAYS by the book."

*awkward silence for about 5 seconds*

"Except when I'm not"

*less awkward silence for 5 seconds*

"Okay, I actually have no ****ing idea what I'm doing and I'm really relying on you to help me out!"

rickair7777
08-21-2017, 07:13 AM
Jumpseating home on Cactus (west) back in the day...

CA: Allright boys, lets get ready for the descent. And let's put these ties back on, want to be sure to look good when they find us in the wreckage...

2StgTurbine
08-21-2017, 07:41 AM
The captain found a large bag of Continental Airline pretzels in an often forgotten about and unused compartment in Q400 cockpit. It had been months since I had seen pretzels like that used for service, so it looked like some crew stashed them there a while ago.

The captain then asks how many the FO thinks he can fit in his mouth. A few minutes later, the floor is littered little pretzel bags and center gives the flight a frequency change. The captain tries to respond but starts coughing pretzels all over the place. The FO can't stop laughing and the more annoyed the controller got, the harder it was for the crew to get themselves under control.

MrBojangles
08-21-2017, 09:11 AM
jumpseating on USAirways 737 a long time ago. I was really young and the Captain, said "hang on I need to teach you something." He proceeded to sketch out this amazing parabolic graph. "Now let me explain. This X axis depicts the number of hot women at the bar and the Y axis here is the number of guys. As you can see the number of hot ladies diminishes rapidly after this point in time here. So, always remember this acronym: GUE-Go Ugly Early. You'll have a much better time if you just cut your losses and it's also cheaper for you." I still have that graph laying around somewhere.

NK Bumble Bee
08-21-2017, 09:13 AM
Jumpseat on the quick San Diego to Vegas flight on company metal. Crew is in a hurry to be done for the day and doing 330ish at 240. Center tells them to slow to 250 "spacing for Vegas." Simultaneously the FO keys the mike to reply as the Captain (intentionally) starts belting out expletives. FO starts laughing too hard to get the readback out. Without missing a beat the controller says "tell the skipper sorry, does he want me to call and tell her he'll be a few minutes late?"

Dougdrvr
08-21-2017, 11:30 AM
Jump seated from Dallas to Chicago on Easter egg era Braniff 727 with stops at OKC, ICT, MCI. Capt and FO alternated legs and after each takeoff, the non flying pilot would say "Great takeoff!!" Finally, on descent into ORD, I had to ask, "What's with all the take off compliments?"

Capt turns to me and say, "Well, neither one of us can land this thing worth a damn, so we compliment each other on our takeoffs." :)

SonicFlyer
08-21-2017, 03:41 PM
(and sorry, no pics...that was the only stipulation she imposed)
Then it didn't happen ;)

N19906
08-21-2017, 04:01 PM
Well, he's gone west years ago, but I don't think he'd mind anyway...

My best friend's dad was a pure-blooded freightdog. Never saw him out and about without a chewed-up unlit stogie sticking out of his mouth. Always (seemed) a short, grumpy b*st*rd, but he had a heart of gold.
He flew for UPS when they still contracted out their flying. When Brown® took it in-house, they were supposed to take everybody, but they didn't. They excluded the guys they thought were too independent for them, him included. Lawsuits, yada, yada... the guys won.

Anyway, CA Jim finds himself flying the 737 at Cactus with all thosed damned people in back. And, (crap!), they have FA's.
There was one trip where the lead FA must've hit those special "golden years", where her temp controller went on the fritz, before shutting down entirely.
"It's too hot back here", "it's too cold", over and over... CA Jim and his FO had enough of "Judy" eventually, so the next time she came forward to complain, they gave her the ability to set things right herself.
"See this big knob here? That's the cabin temp controller. Anytime you want to adjust the heat back there, just come on up and turn that knob."
(Yeah, waay pre 9/11.) After a little while, Judy got real good at setting the temp where she wanted it. The second half of the trip went much better, it was blissfully peaceful.
So the trip ends and everyone goes on their merry way.
On her next trip, Judy does exactly what she did on her last trip. She pokes her head up in the cockpit, doesn't disturb the crew, grabs that big knob down there, and slams it to full travel to change the temperature.

Yup, that big knob was the rudder trim switch.

I don't know how that turned out. I would've loved to have been a fly on the wall. I heard CA Jim got called into the CP's office for some counseling. I don't think he cared all that much, he went back to freighters when he got the chance... ;)

FlytheSky
08-21-2017, 05:38 PM
Well, he's gone west years ago, but I don't think he'd mind anyway...

My best friend's dad was a pure-blooded freightdog. Never saw him out and about without a chewed-up unlit stogie sticking out of his mouth. Always (seemed) a short, grumpy b*st*rd, but he had a heart of gold.
He flew for UPS when they still contracted out their flying. When Brown® took it in-house, they were supposed to take everybody, but they didn't. They excluded the guys they thought were too independent for them, him included. Lawsuits, yada, yada... the guys won.

Anyway, CA Jim finds himself flying the 737 at Cactus with all thosed damned people in back. And, (crap!), they have FA's.
There was one trip where the lead FA must've hit those special "golden years", where her temp controller went on the fritz, before shutting down entirely.
"It's too hot back here", "it's too cold", over and over... CA Jim and his FO had enough of "Judy" eventually, so the next time she came forward to complain, they gave her the ability to set things right herself.
"See this big knob here? That's the cabin temp controller. Anytime you want to adjust the heat back there, just come on up and turn that knob."
(Yeah, waay pre 9/11.) After a little while, Judy got real good at setting the temp where she wanted it. The second half of the trip went much better, it was blissfully peaceful.
So the trip ends and everyone goes on their merry way.
On her next trip, Judy does exactly what she did on her last trip. She pokes her head up in the cockpit, doesn't disturb the crew, grabs that big knob down there, and slams it to full travel to change the temperature.

Yup, that big knob was the rudder trim switch.

I don't know how that turned out. I would've loved to have been a fly on the wall. I heard CA Jim got called into the CP's office for some counseling. I don't think he cared all that much, he went back to freighters when he got the chance... ;)

On a somewhat related note, I heard of an Omni crew that had a similar FA situation with cabin temperature. However (being post 9/11) they were calling every 5 minutes on these 8 hour flights about the temperature.

Since the crew was staying together for 12 days and flying the same plane the whole time, the pilots came up with a plan. They went to a hardware store and bought a cheap, battery powered thermostat and some adhesive tape. Took an earlier van to the plane and mounted it by the forward galley. When the FAs got on board, the captain mentioned that maintenance had been onboard overnight and installed the thermostat as part of a test run before implementing it on the whole fleet. Showed the FAs how to "work" the unit. For the rest of the trip, never got a complaint about the temperature, and the pilots even asked the FAs how it was working for them, and they said "great".

Supposedly after the trip when the FAs found out that they had been duped, they were less than happy. But no CP carpet dance though!

cactusmike
08-21-2017, 09:59 PM
On a somewhat related note, I heard of an Omni crew that had a similar FA situation with cabin temperature. However (being post 9/11) they were calling every 5 minutes on these 8 hour flights about the temperature.

Since the crew was staying together for 12 days and flying the same plane the whole time, the pilots came up with a plan. They went to a hardware store and bought a cheap, battery powered thermostat and some adhesive tape. Took an earlier van to the plane and mounted it by the forward galley. When the FAs got on board, the captain mentioned that maintenance had been onboard overnight and installed the thermostat as part of a test run before implementing it on the whole fleet. Showed the FAs how to "work" the unit. For the rest of the trip, never got a complaint about the temperature, and the pilots even asked the FAs how it was working for them, and they said "great".

Supposedly after the trip when the FAs found out that they had been duped, they were less than happy. But no CP carpet dance though!

The best thing Airbus ever did on the enhanced aircraft was to put that temp controller on the f/a panel in the cabin. Mind you, it moves the temp about 3 degrees but it sure keeps them quiet.

I love the stories. I have a few but they will have to wait until the statute of limitations is done with.

NoDeskJob
08-22-2017, 06:44 AM
Gear's up. That's awesome.

Good catch on the last 2 posts. My eyes never made it that far. ;)

swaayze
08-22-2017, 06:46 AM
Gear's up. That's awesome.

She gives new meaning to schwinging gear eh?

RhinoBallAuto
08-22-2017, 08:08 AM
yawn

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/86/5e/6d/865e6d867ad6754162902e3d5876c637--cockpit-dimples.jpg

About 99% sure this was a sales/demo flight for EMB with the Brazilian supermodel on board to close the deal. If you know this to be untrue, please keep the facts to yourself. :D

RI830
08-22-2017, 08:18 AM
About 99% sure this was a sales/demo flight for EMB with the Brazilian supermodel on board to close the deal. If you know this to be untrue, please keep the facts to yourself. :D

Facts are facts! Fantasy can be fact!
Unknown Mexican airline with an obviously stunning FA or girlfriend.

- gears up
- almost redline
- airline tell is the "soft keys" below the MFD. They are beat up compared to a corporate bird.

jdebrey
08-22-2017, 08:42 AM
Facts are facts! Fantasy can be fact!
Unknown Mexican airline with an obviously stunning FA or girlfriend.

- gears up
- almost redline
- airline tell is the "soft keys" below the MFD. They are beat up compared to a corporate bird.



Finally an argument on APC that is worth looking at. This thread has stayed on topic for 14 entire pages. And almost all stories are gold.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

2StgTurbine
08-22-2017, 08:44 AM
About 99% sure this was a sales/demo flight for EMB with the Brazilian supermodel on board to close the deal. If you know this to be untrue, please keep the facts to yourself. :D

No point. Everyone involved got caught and let go/resigned.

freezingflyboy
08-22-2017, 01:31 PM
No point. Everyone involved got caught and let go/resigned.

Yep. They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Turns out that equates to three jobs. A lot of talent got let go from that.

Poopchute701
08-22-2017, 02:05 PM
No, I'm not.
One in the jumpseat, two standing behind each pilot seat, one on my flight bag, and one more on the captain's flight bag.

In a DC-9? Seven jumpseaters plus 2 pilots? Lol. Must have been a DC-9 sim. Or the jumpseaters were Hobbits

rickair7777
08-22-2017, 02:13 PM
No point. Everyone involved got caught and let go/resigned.

Airline?
..........

2StgTurbine
08-22-2017, 02:43 PM
Airline?
..........

ExpressJet. The worst part was, crew members did all the work for management. It was posted on The Pipe and within 12 hours, some super pilots zoomed in on the MFD, discovered that the distance from the VOR was unusual. Then someone else found out that the only recent flight that occurred that far away from the VOR was a reposition flight without passengers.

FlytheSky
08-22-2017, 02:45 PM
In a DC-9? Seven jumpseaters plus 2 pilots? Lol. Must have been a DC-9 sim. Or the jumpseaters were Hobbits

Well, they were flying to Isengard...

RhinoBallAuto
08-22-2017, 02:47 PM
some super pilots zoomed in on the MFD, discovered that the distance from the VOR was unusual.

somebody needs to refocus one's priorities

2StgTurbine
08-22-2017, 03:02 PM
somebody needs to refocus one's priorities

Really. People were so focused on what VOR they were flying to that it took over 10 pages before someone even noticed the more important information being displayed on the MFD.

mainlineAF
08-22-2017, 03:02 PM
ExpressJet. The worst part ones, crew members did all the work for management. It was posted on The Pipe and within 12 hours, some super pilots zoomed in on the MFD, discovered that the distance from the VOR was unusual. Then someone else found out that the only recent flight that occurred that far away from the VOR was a reposition flight without passengers.



Wow. We continue to be our own worst enemies.

N19906
08-22-2017, 07:50 PM
Really. People were so focused on what VOR they were flying to that it took over 10 pages before someone even noticed the more important information being displayed on the MFD.

I wish my MFD's displayed that kind of information. :rolleyes:

Count Dracula
08-23-2017, 06:10 AM
Not a JS story, but still a 70's classic. My brother was a Ramp Agent back in 73-74' timeframe for EAL and told me this story. The crew on a DC-9 had a late evening scheduled trip ATL-PIT-CLE-PIT (RON). The first leg ATL-PIT had a short turn around of :45 and new FO left to grab some food upstairs at the Coffee Shop. It was getting close to departure time and the FO was no where to be found even after paging him in the airport. The CA comes up to my brother's lead on the crew and tells him, when this SOB gets back to the gate, keep him inside the jetway I'll be back in :45 minutes. The lead looks at him even more puzzled when he says, make sure after push you flag me out with a right turn. There were maybe 15 pax connecting thru PIT to CLE on the flight. The CA has a brief discussion with the Lead FA, the cockpit door closes and he is on his way to CLE and back. The FO returned to the gate 20 minutes later and turned pale white when the airplane was gone. He sat on the jetway frantically thinking he would be fired for missing the flight. He didn't want to believe the CA put it all on the line to cover his ass. He had run into an old girlfriend at the restaurant and misread his tripsheet departure time.
Good old EAL...[emoji51]


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Spin
08-23-2017, 03:07 PM
In a DC-9? Seven jumpseaters plus 2 pilots? Lol. Must have been a DC-9 sim. Or the jumpseaters were Hobbits
You guys don't believe it. If you roll the seats forward two guys can stand behind each pilot seat, plus one guy sitting on each pilot flight bag, plus the one in the jumpseat. 4+2+1=7

trip
08-23-2017, 03:43 PM
You guys don't believe it. If you roll the seats forward two guys can stand behind each pilot seat, plus one guy sitting on each pilot flight bag, plus the one in the jumpseat. 4+2+1=7

Were you leaving Da Nang?

SonicFlyer
08-23-2017, 04:31 PM
https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/21034530_1279950002115154_6437636753796283698_n.jp g?oh=5b667e7849c08a42983bb64cfba30ff7&oe=5A2955E4

Dolphinflyer
08-23-2017, 05:04 PM
Yup, I've had more than a few little Lemurs like that on my flights.

The problem is that at my Legacy, I'm way too old by the time they showed up and they're the same age as my daughter.

I feel like Steve McQueen in the final few minutes of Papillon. No Teeth and someone puts a nice Ribeye in front of his face.

galaxy flyer
08-23-2017, 05:25 PM
We had a EAL captain who diverted from ORD ( fogged in) to his farm airport, brought the few pax (Martin 404), served them all breakfast, then took on to ORD.

Good story, solo DC-9! :cool:

GF

RI830
08-23-2017, 05:41 PM
Were you leaving Da Nang?

Heading home when the lady has called and mentioned certain things need "attention"!!

Who needs Da Nang when you got......

TransWorld
08-23-2017, 05:55 PM
Old story. Likely true. In WWII Howard Hughes was the major stockholder of TWA. Evening flight from Idlewild (now JFK) to Los Angeles. Priority was a load of soldiers.

Howard Hughes decided to bump them for a plane load of Hollywood starlets. Station chief said you can't do that. There are wartime priorities.

He was told take the GIs out and show them the town. Have them back at the airport for a 7 am flight to LA. But, Mr. Hughes, there is no 7 am flight. Do as I say, boy.

At 7 am he brought the soldiers to the gate. Low and behold, there was a TWA plane waiting for them. As the drunk soldiers got on, they were greeted by the pilot, Howard Hughes. He personally flew them in his own plane to LA.

A win win situation.:D

Kiwi123
08-23-2017, 09:35 PM
Re 7 JSers - "Were you leaving Da Nang?"

LOL - not lol - That's just the image popped into my head, too.

The hairiest takeoff I've ever seen - rolling down the runway w/ the rear stairs still hanging down AND people still clamoring up them into an already overloaded airplane. How the pilot got that sardine can w/ wings off the ground, I'll never know - let alone nobody falling back down the chute.

WhaleSurfing
08-24-2017, 12:07 AM
Were you leaving Da Nang?

No, because that was a 727

badflaps
08-24-2017, 02:20 AM
Re 7 JSers - "Were you leaving Da Nang?"

LOL - not lol - That's just the image popped into my head, too.

The hairiest takeoff I've ever seen - rolling down the runway w/ the rear stairs still hanging down AND people still clamoring up them into an already overloaded airplane. How the pilot got that sardine can w/ wings off the ground, I'll never know - let alone nobody falling back down the chute.
Wild man Daly over at World Airways.

Speedbird2263
08-24-2017, 07:28 AM
On a somewhat related note, I heard of an Omni crew that had a similar FA situation with cabin temperature. However (being post 9/11) they were calling every 5 minutes on these 8 hour flights about the temperature.

Since the crew was staying together for 12 days and flying the same plane the whole time, the pilots came up with a plan. They went to a hardware store and bought a cheap, battery powered thermostat and some adhesive tape. Took an earlier van to the plane and mounted it by the forward galley. When the FAs got on board, the captain mentioned that maintenance had been onboard overnight and installed the thermostat as part of a test run before implementing it on the whole fleet. Showed the FAs how to "work" the unit. For the rest of the trip, never got a complaint about the temperature, and the pilots even asked the FAs how it was working for them, and they said "great".

Supposedly after the trip when the FAs found out that they had been duped, they were less than happy. But no CP carpet dance though!

I have heard a very similar iteration of this one. :D Incredible stories and creativity to say the least.

tm602
08-24-2017, 08:56 AM
https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/21034530_1279950002115154_6437636753796283698_n.jp g?oh=5b667e7849c08a42983bb64cfba30ff7&oe=5A2955E4

I'm in love.

FML666
08-24-2017, 09:04 AM
Last month of DeltaWest flying 747s to and from HNL, me requesting the redeye jumpseat back to ATL after getting 1st class to Hawaii. Get onboard and introduce myself to the FA who tells me to just sit down on the FA JS next to the large boarding door, don't bother going upstairs. I do as I'm told... A few hours into the flight (and after turning down my 5th meal offer) several passengers decide to "stretch their legs" in the galley area which results in more than one rear end 12"-18" from my head. The awesome FA working my area notices my predicament, clears the people out, turns over an empty ice tray, and instructs me to put my feet up on it on to defend my personal space. This works for maybe an hour or so at which point the zombies start congregating again. The FA clears them out yet again but this time takes a galley cart and blockades the aisle with it creating a spacious personal galley "fort" for me to enjoy for the rest of the flight.

NWA/DL crews rule...

badflaps
08-24-2017, 12:58 PM
The DC-6,7 had a gauge and switch mounted over the aft cabin door....hooked to exactly nothing. Way ahead of the program.;)

Squeaky banana
08-24-2017, 04:49 PM
On a similar, non JS note....

Head a story about a crew at my airline where the Captain was a bit of a prankster, and also liked to invite the FAs up to chat and look around. With one particular FA this Captain told her that the way to unlock the door to leave was via the A/P Disconnect Bar on the glareshield (CRJ). FO was in on it apparently because he would just keep his hands on the controls when said FA would disconnect the A/P.

So that trip ends, and apparently said FA ends up in the Flight Deck on the next trip with a different crew. Goes to leave the Flight Deck, and all hell breaks loose.

I head the first Captain got to keep his job, but just barely.I knew that guy... He had many funny ones, but that one was a little off...

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk

SonicFlyer
08-24-2017, 06:53 PM
https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/20604367_1265190913591063_6863693077876323709_n.jp g?oh=85f9e093930a39170642433dd82e4551&oe=5A2F9F7E

tm602
08-24-2017, 08:00 PM
I'm in love again.

Lemons
08-25-2017, 06:42 AM
No point. Everyone involved got caught and let go/resigned.

Why? What sop was violated?

Lemons
08-25-2017, 06:43 AM
ExpressJet. The worst part was, crew members did all the work for management. It was posted on The Pipe and within 12 hours, some super pilots zoomed in on the MFD, discovered that the distance from the VOR was unusual. Then someone else found out that the only recent flight that occurred that far away from the VOR was a reposition flight without passengers.

So again, what was the problem? What sop was violated?

rickair7777
08-25-2017, 07:01 AM
So again, what was the problem? What sop was violated?

Presumably, non-qualified personnel at a control station. That one's taken pretty seriously industry-wide, would get you tossed out of the military, or at least de-winged. Got a bad rap after that russian thing.

flynd94
08-25-2017, 07:28 AM
Presumably, non-qualified personnel at a control station. That one's taken pretty seriously industry-wide, would get you tossed out of the military, or at least de-winged. Got a bad rap after that russian thing.

All an urban myth. The FA quit shortly after (not because of the picture), this was a empty repo, at cruise. Neither the CA/FO were disciplined.

Turbosina
08-25-2017, 07:30 AM
Presumably, non-qualified personnel at a control station. That one's taken pretty seriously industry-wide, would get you tossed out of the military, or at least de-winged. Got a bad rap after that russian thing.

Except... When one pilot is out of the flight deck, an FA is required to be in the flight deck. Most of them just stand there or perch on the edge of a seat. Is this pic really any different from a regulatory standpoint?

FMGEC
08-25-2017, 07:45 AM
As many others mentioned, this is a great thread with people posting wonderful stories about their own personal Jumpseat experiences. Can we please return to that focus. Go and start a separate thread if you want to debate crap most of us don't care about.

Posting of hot chicks in this thread shall still be allowed to continue, however.

rickair7777
08-25-2017, 10:06 AM
Except... When one pilot is out of the flight deck, an FA is required to be in the flight deck. Most of them just stand there or perch on the edge of a seat. Is this pic really any different from a regulatory standpoint?

On the flight deck, yes. At a control station, no. Don't believe me, you can always try it and see what happens.

But like FMGEC said, let's get back to the stories...

FML666
08-25-2017, 04:15 PM
Jumpseating on God's Airline back to ATL, an anonymous friend of mine was...

Captain is in full laid back mode with every inch of his window acreage covered by enroute charts and his seat fully reclined and lowered while the FO is PF and setting the radios because the bossman can't see the RTU from his below sea-level position. He can reach the transmit switch though so he has that going for him which is nice. An hour or so out of Hartsfield-Latoya Jackson International Airport and Nail Salon the FO figures he'll hit the head because while it isn't a pressing concern at the moment he figures floating eyeballs might be a bit of a distraction at arrival time. He vacates the seat and the anonymous jumpseater is invited to step up and log some dual received on Boeing autopilots and FCPs. After a brief explanation the Captain is satisfied and calls the lesson compete with an invitation to "push this button here and give it a go, just push this other button when you don't want to fly anymore"...

And that's how my friend died. Or lost his license. Or maybe just ended up with an interesting story to share and proof that not all non-NWA Sky God captains are feminine hygiene products when dealing with scooter trash RJ pilots...

Hoser
08-25-2017, 05:57 PM
One night flying an RJ from ATL to GPT w/ an Air Tran JSer and get a cargo bottle discharge message just north of MGM. Check with the cabin to make sure nothing happening there (smoke, etc) and get out the QRH, directing us to land ASAP. ASA had a maint station in MGM so we go there. Deplane passengers as we had to wait for next MGM arrival to bring the parts from ATL. So me and FO hang in the maint bldg., and the boys have a porn channel going on. Cool, something to pass the wait.

As the ATL arrival was a RON, we take their jet and begin loading up. FO then tells me our JSer told him if he had been the Capt he'd have kept pressing on to GPT (ignoring the QRH). FO suggested we leave him in MGM, but I guess the porn put me in a cheerful mood and I said he could ride. Didn't even say anything to the JSer (should have). Guess their SOPs are different than ours were. :rolleyes:

badflaps
08-26-2017, 04:21 AM
One night flying an RJ from ATL to GPT w/ an Air Tran JSer and get a cargo bottle discharge message just north of MGM. Check with the cabin to make sure nothing happening there (smoke, etc) and get out the QRH, directing us to land ASAP. ASA had a maint station in MGM so we go there. Deplane passengers as we had to wait for next MGM arrival to bring the parts from ATL. So me and FO hang in the maint bldg., and the boys have a porn channel going on. Cool, something to pass the wait.

As the ATL arrival was a RON, we take their jet and begin loading up. FO then tells me our JSer told him if he had been the Capt he'd have kept pressing on to GPT (ignoring the QRH). FO suggested we leave him in MGM, but I guess the porn put me in a cheerful mood and I said he could ride. Didn't even say anything to the JSer (should have). Guess their SOPs are different than ours were. :rolleyes:
All well and good till your tail falls off. (Ref. m370)

Dougdrvr
08-26-2017, 09:52 AM
Jump seating on Delta one day with two seats. Second jump seater shows up and after introductions, the attractive, young, female FO, says to the other guy, "I flew in the Navy, what do you fly?" He replies, "A Jetstream." She says, "What's that?" Captain looked embarrassed, and I rolled my eyes at the other guy. Kept my big mouth shut, but all I could think of was "What the heck do you do when approach clears you for a visual behind the Jetstream at a busy airport?"

SonicFlyer
08-26-2017, 10:28 AM
Posting of hot chicks in this thread shall still be allowed to continue, however.

https://scontent-mia3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/20293004_1256577581119063_8601131058823605205_n.jp g?oh=132c220aecf3ed95d2ab437b3f691e5e&oe=5A1A06B9

Sputnik
08-26-2017, 10:51 AM
Jump seating on Delta one day with two seats. Second jump seater shows up and after introductions, the attractive, young, female FO, says to the other guy, "I flew in the Navy, what do you fly?" He replies, "A Jetstream." She says, "What's that?" Captain looked embarrassed, and I rolled my eyes at the other guy. Kept my big mouth shut, but all I could think of was "What the heck do you do when approach clears you for a visual behind the Jetstream at a busy airport?"

Ive been flying for 20 years and dont know what a jetstream is. I'll suffer through eye rolls

Random guess, you didnt get her phone number did you?

at6d
08-26-2017, 11:37 AM
I totally understand a lack of knowledge when it comes to identifying corporate aircraft...but it amazes me the number of times pilots can't identify common airliners.

I guess I'm just an aviation knerd.

Lemons
08-26-2017, 12:33 PM
Presumably, non-qualified personnel at a control station. That one's taken pretty seriously industry-wide, would get you tossed out of the military, or at least de-winged. Got a bad rap after that russian thing.

On most bathroom breaks the stews take the unoccupied pilot seats.

Dougdrvr
08-26-2017, 12:55 PM
Ive been flying for 20 years and dont know what a jetstream is. I'll suffer through eye rolls

Random guess, you didnt get her phone number did you?

Well........it WAS more than 20 years ago. :)

She's probably a grandmother by now.

Dougdrvr
08-26-2017, 12:57 PM
https://scontent-mia3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/20293004_1256577581119063_8601131058823605205_n.jp g?oh=132c220aecf3ed95d2ab437b3f691e5e&oe=5A1A06B9

Took a while to see there is an airplane in the picture but ... OMG...that's a P-39 (or 63).

Hetman
08-26-2017, 01:46 PM
I totally understand a lack of knowledge when it comes to identifying corporate aircraft...but it amazes me the number of times pilots can't identify common airliners. ...

Jetstream:
https://s16-us2.ixquick.com/cgi-bin/serveimage?url=http:%2F%2Fimgproc.airliners.net%2F photos%2Fairliners%2F3%2F0%2F5%2F0720503.jpg%3Fv%3 Dv40&sp=b02a96a920f36bbd1697d70d48132a14


Gulfstream:
https://s17-us2.ixquick.com/cgi-bin/serveimage?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.jetinsiders.com%2F market-inventory%2Fimages%2Fgv-1.png&sp=e853fd75d8ade2c3dfb47ddf9e1208b7

badflaps
08-26-2017, 02:06 PM
APC has an aircraft identification club, however, it has been largely inactive lately.

80ktsClamp
08-26-2017, 02:40 PM
Jump seating on Delta one day with two seats. Second jump seater shows up and after introductions, the attractive, young, female FO, says to the other guy, "I flew in the Navy, what do you fly?" He replies, "A Jetstream." She says, "What's that?" Captain looked embarrassed, and I rolled my eyes at the other guy. Kept my big mouth shut, but all I could think of was "What the heck do you do when approach clears you for a visual behind the Jetstream at a busy airport?"

Probably go "hey, is that the Jetstream?" to the other guy/gal. Pretty complicated situation. ;)

crxpilot
08-26-2017, 02:41 PM
Jetstream:
https://s16-us2.ixquick.com/cgi-bin/serveimage?url=http:%2F%2Fimgproc.airliners.net%2F photos%2Fairliners%2F3%2F0%2F5%2F0720503.jpg%3Fv%3 Dv40&sp=b02a96a920f36bbd1697d70d48132a14


Gulfstream:
https://s17-us2.ixquick.com/cgi-bin/serveimage?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.jetinsiders.com%2F market-inventory%2Fimages%2Fgv-1.png&sp=e853fd75d8ade2c3dfb47ddf9e1208b7

Airstream:
3246

tomgoodman
08-26-2017, 03:27 PM
Crosstream:

http://www.edadrian.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/GBStreams.png

80ktsClamp
08-26-2017, 07:35 PM
http://www.boeing.com/resources/boeingdotcom/defense/f-15_strike_eagle/images/eagle_gallery_med_01_960x600.jpg

The mighty F-16!

Speedbird2263
08-26-2017, 08:37 PM
The mighty F-16!

When a Falcon looks in the mirror wishing it were bald.

Galaxy5
08-26-2017, 08:43 PM
http://www.boeing.com/resources/boeingdotcom/defense/f-15_strike_eagle/images/eagle_gallery_med_01_960x600.jpg

The mighty F-16!

Nah, LGPOS, right?!

Big E 757
08-27-2017, 05:30 AM
Jetstream:
https://s16-us2.ixquick.com/cgi-bin/serveimage?url=http:%2F%2Fimgproc.airliners.net%2F photos%2Fairliners%2F3%2F0%2F5%2F0720503.jpg%3Fv%3 Dv40&sp=b02a96a920f36bbd1697d70d48132a14


Gulfstream:
https://s17-us2.ixquick.com/cgi-bin/serveimage?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.jetinsiders.com%2F market-inventory%2Fimages%2Fgv-1.png&sp=e853fd75d8ade2c3dfb47ddf9e1208b7


There was a corporate aircraft called a Jetstream with 4 engines on the tail, mounted 2 a side on a single pylon that I think the Navy used for VIP transport.

Embraerpilot
08-27-2017, 05:48 AM
There was a corporate aircraft called a Jetstream with 4 engines on the tail, mounted 2 a side on a single pylon that I think the Navy used for VIP transport.

That was the Jetstar

Dolphinflyer
08-27-2017, 05:51 AM
Try "Jetstar" as in Lockheed.

Hoser
08-27-2017, 07:17 AM
There was a corporate aircraft called a Jetstream with 4 engines on the tail, mounted 2 a side on a single pylon that I think the Navy used for VIP transport.

USAF had a fleet of them called C-140. I was a USAF ATCer and Comm Command had 4-5 I think and used them for flight checks of USAF navaids and mobile ATC/TACAN equipment. The 89th at Andrews had them in the VIP fleet too. Some private owners/corporations of course, such as Mario Andretti.

badflaps
08-27-2017, 08:08 AM
Wrong, that is a RC-61 "Grass Snake."

Hoser
08-27-2017, 08:33 AM
Wrong, that is a RC-61 "Grass Snake."

Watcha talkin' 'bout Willis?

Hetman
08-27-2017, 08:52 AM
https://s14-eu5.ixquick.com/cgi-bin/serveimage?url=http:%2F%2Fcdn.ebaumsworld.com%2F20 08%2F06%2F688150%2Fsnake.jpg&sp=b902a49c0b0e7f39c9ac49947ac8e73f

Viperstick
08-27-2017, 12:26 PM
Cargo 727 jumpseat into PHX at 0400 about 5 years ago. Great crew explaining all about the 727. After being given a crossing restriction the CA turns around and asks me "want a leisurely descent or you want to see us unwind this thing?"
I had no idea a plane that size could come out of the sky like that.

Hopping back to Misawa from Fujairah UAE via Diego Garcia in a C-17. Middle of the night, I'm sound asleep. Loadmaster wakes me up and says we're going to do a combat descent. I'm guessing it's not going to be what I'm used to (roll inverted, pull), so I sit there with great anticipation (and some bemusement) to see what this was going to look like. Now, I'm sitting next to a multi ton pallet of crap right under the wing spar. Suddenly, all four engines go into full reverse, spoilers go out, and we begin an 18,000 ft/minute elevator ride down. That pallet of crap immediately rises off the floor and slams to the top of the well worn red nylon webbing. All the Catholic school prayers of intercession come flooding back from the depths of my memory for divine assistance to keep that multi ton pallet of crap from becoming an internal wrecking ball. Forty five seconds later and the pallet settles back to the floor with a thud. I leave the jet with new respect for the C-17s capabilities, and the tensile strength of red nylon webbing.

trip
08-27-2017, 02:37 PM
https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/20604367_1265190913591063_6863693077876323709_n.jp g?oh=85f9e093930a39170642433dd82e4551&oe=5A2F9F7E

A nasty run in those hose, I like.

Lemons
08-27-2017, 03:47 PM
I once was jumpseating and the capatin and fo got into a shouting match about a messed up altitude they busted to the point where they were screaming at the top of their lungs and the fa had to call up to see what was going on.

Big E 757
08-27-2017, 06:30 PM
That was the Jetstar

Yep, my fault.

HoursHore
08-27-2017, 06:57 PM
Comair jump seat, Capt turns to the last page of his jeps to a naked pic of a torso shot of a pretty stacked woman in a shower. Says "that's what I woke up next to today". Give him kudos and pretend to be interested. Later in the flight I learn its the flight attendant in back who happened to be one of the mythical college educated, young hot female ones whom hes having an affair with while his wife and two kids are at home.

But she was pretty hot though.

N19906
08-27-2017, 07:07 PM
That was the Jetstar

A.K.A: "The Junkstar". (Our slang, I doubt the crews called it that.)
Pretty popular down in Mexico though: four engines = muy macho!

The were four-engined Garrett conversions available that made it much better, and a twin-engined "Fanstar" conversion that never really got off the ground.

badflaps
08-28-2017, 05:18 AM
Howard Hughes had one that sat in FLL forever.

galaxy flyer
08-28-2017, 06:16 AM
EAL had a Jetstar for exec and crew transport, too. I have picture, if only I knew how yo post it. McDonnell built a four-engine business jet with underslung JT-12s. One built.

GF

METO Guido
08-28-2017, 06:43 AM
https://s2.postimg.org/44pvud6wp/30-05.jpg (https://postimages.org/)

METO Guido
08-28-2017, 06:45 AM
Howard Hughes had one that sat in FLL forever.
JS story skipper?

badflaps
08-28-2017, 06:52 AM
JS story skipper?

I am a pre JS guy. I have some half-fare stories though. The Mcdonnell jet had square inlets, strange.

tomgoodman
08-28-2017, 07:13 AM
Goldfinger fired his gun in a Jetstar and was defenestrated. :eek:

badflaps
08-28-2017, 07:28 AM
Goldfinger fired his gun in a Jetstar and was defenestrated. :eek:

Thus starting all "Sucked out of the airplane" fears. With exception of the poor SOB that went out the window on the National DC-10.

itsmytime
08-28-2017, 07:43 AM
Back to the jump seat stories please.

Packrat
08-28-2017, 07:49 AM
EAL had a Jetstar for exec and crew transport, too. I have picture, if only I knew how yo post it. McDonnell built a four-engine business jet with underslung JT-12s. One built.

GF

Its currently parked in El Paso by the hangars near Customs.

Truthanator
08-28-2017, 09:03 AM
Early 2000's, my first JS in a 777. It's a UAL flight from ORD to LAX and I walk in for the intro to the crew, the CA swings around and could not be more friendly and welcoming. Some small talk for a few then back to business. I notice the CA's Jepp bag is adorned with peace symbols, rainbows, Dead stickers, and love stickers. Clearly a happy hippie.
The lead FA comes up and informs the CA that there are no nuts for the first class cabin. The CA grumbles and says he'll call ops to bring the nuts. CA makes the call and ops explains that they are out of the nuts for first class. The peace loving hippie CA proceeds to Lose. His. Mind.
"You mean to tell me that I can't get warm nuts for my first class passengers?" "You're saying that in UA's largest hub we are completely out of warm nuts for our first class passengers?" "This airline is a joke, disgrace, you've got to be joking........" absolutely loses it for a good 10 minutes on UA ops.
So much so that he's obviously not realized his "warm nuts" comments has his FO in tears, doubled over trying not to laugh out loud and enrage the CA even more. I am trying as hard as I can not to laugh for obvious reasons.
Forced to accept that there isn't going to be any warm nuts for his first class passengers, he ends his ops call to see his FO laughing in tears and asks "what's so godd&^med funny". The FO says "warm nuts?" to which the CA realizes his unintended humor and allows himself a chuckle.

FA comes up to close the door, previously enraged happy hippie CA
reaches into his Jepp bag and pulls out fuzzy dice and hangs them in the 777 wind screen.:cool:

galaxy flyer
08-28-2017, 09:39 AM
Which one, pack Rat?

Sorry, I did some instant research and see it is the McAir 119/220 in ELP. Funny part of the story was that PanAm had tentatively agreed to lease 170 of them as business jets, then cancelled and went with Dassault Falcon.

Strange putting "whisperjet" on probably the loudest jet except for the BAC 1-11 or a GII

GF

MadmanX2
08-29-2017, 06:47 PM
I was in Minneapolis wanting to get to Houston. I was in my seat (no CASS) waiting for engines start and push back. I see the FA walking and looking at me. I know that look.

I grab my bag and get up. She says sorry, I say not a problem, sometimes I go, sometimes I don't.

I walk to the exit, every passenger looking at me. But before I egress the plane, I stop and turn to look at the passengers and say, "This is what happens when you don't fasten your seatbelt and make sure your seat is in the upright position.

The FA says I can't believe you said that, and started laughing. She said everyone is checking their seatbelts. I tell her that seeing someone get kicked off is more effective than the briefing, isn't it.

SonicFlyer
08-31-2017, 12:03 AM
I was in Minneapolis wanting to get to Houston. I was in my seat (no CASS) waiting for engines start and push back. I see the FA walking and looking at me. I know that look.

I grab my bag and get up. She says sorry, I say not a problem, sometimes I go, sometimes I don't.

I walk to the exit, every passenger looking at me. But before I egress the plane, I stop and turn to look at the passengers and say, "This is what happens when you don't fasten your seatbelt and make sure your seat is in the upright position.

The FA says I can't believe you said that, and started laughing. She said everyone is checking their seatbelts. I tell her that seeing someone get kicked off is more effective than the briefing, isn't it.



reminds me of this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oRSQi97RRzk

Albief15
08-31-2017, 05:07 AM
Early 2000s, and I'm a fairly new 727 SO jumping somewhere on an American flight. AA required you to list in advance, and I managed to crack the code. I had heard everyone at AA could be a bit more "businesslike" at best and "cold" at worst, so I was really trying not to be screw up any of the standard etiquette stuff from the CSR check in on up to meeting the crew. Everything was going like clockwork, and the AA folks could not have been any nicer. When I finally made it to the cockpit, I was in uniform, and approached the cockpit...

The captain turned around slowly, never smiled, looked me up and down as I introduced myself and produced my credentials.
"How do I KNOW you an airline pilot?" he barked. Before I could even answer, he said loudly "any swinging dick can go buy an airline uniform somewhere..." Then..."any kid with a color copier can make a *(&% fake ID..." Things got a little icy for second as I sat there a bit stunned on what to say, and was already mentally trying to calculate the odds of catching a later flight on another carrier since it was obvious there was some kind of major malfunction going on here. About that time, he starred right into my eyes, and said "you got a *********ing hotel pen? Any real *&(^ airline pilot is going to have a hotel pen..." At that point I pulled the pen out of my shirt pocket and he started laughing hysterically. "Holy ****...you ARE a real airline pilot. Hey Linda--put this guy in first class! Welcome aboard! We are glad to have you!..."

SOB had me hook, line, and sinker for about 90 seconds. He played it very well. They could not have been any nicer, and the ride was awesome. Always enjoyed riding with AA ever since...both as a j/s and a paying pax.

full of luv
08-31-2017, 06:44 AM
Early 2000s, and I'm a fairly new 727 SO jumping somewhere on an American flight. AA required you to list in advance, and I managed to crack the code. I had heard everyone at AA could be a bit more "businesslike" at best and "cold" at worst, so I was really trying not to be screw up any of the standard etiquette stuff from the CSR check in on up to meeting the crew. Everything was going like clockwork, and the AA folks could not have been any nicer. When I finally made it to the cockpit, I was in uniform, and approached the cockpit...

The captain turned around slowly, never smiled, looked me up and down as I introduced myself and produced my credentials.
"How do I KNOW you an airline pilot?" he barked. Before I could even answer, he said loudly "any swinging dick can go buy an airline uniform somewhere..." Then..."any kid with a color copier can make a *(&% fake ID..." Things got a little icy for second as I sat there a bit stunned on what to say, and was already mentally trying to calculate the odds of catching a later flight on another carrier since it was obvious there was some kind of major malfunction going on here. About that time, he starred right into my eyes, and said "you got a *********ing hotel pen? Any real *&(^ airline pilot is going to have a hotel pen..." At that point I pulled the pen out of my shirt pocket and he started laughing hysterically. "Holy ****...you ARE a real airline pilot. Hey Linda--put this guy in first class! Welcome aboard! We are glad to have you!..."

SOB had me hook, line, and sinker for about 90 seconds. He played it very well. They could not have been any nicer, and the ride was awesome. Always enjoyed riding with AA ever since...both as a j/s and a paying pax.

Caught a AA J/S from DFW to HNL in mid 2000's. Captain was on younger side but highly "eccentric". Had a bobblehead hula dancer on the dash and hung his hand mic from overhead handle so that it hung in front of him as he made PA's like an old time mic.

Captain had two kit bags, halfway to Hawaii, FA's asked if we'd like food. I said no, but Captain ordered meals for everyone anyway. When food comes he takes all of my tray, can of soda included plus half of his and puts it in his empty kit bag. Throughout the flight he accumulated at least 1/2 dozen sodas, an extra sandwich after his bathroom break and even bags of peanuts and pretzels in his now full kit bag to go on layover in HNL.

TCASTESTOK
08-31-2017, 08:28 AM
Caught a AA J/S from DFW to HNL in mid 2000's. Captain was on younger side but highly "eccentric". Had a bobblehead hula dancer on the dash and hung his hand mic from overhead handle so that it hung in front of him as he made PA's like an old time mic.

Captain had two kit bags, halfway to Hawaii, FA's asked if we'd like food. I said no, but Captain ordered meals for everyone anyway. When food comes he takes all of my tray, can of soda included plus half of his and puts it in his empty kit bag. Throughout the flight he accumulated at least 1/2 dozen sodas, an extra sandwich after his bathroom break and even bags of peanuts and pretzels in his now full kit bag to go on layover in HNL.

Now THATS saving your per diem!!

ShyGuy
08-31-2017, 09:47 AM
Caught a AA J/S from DFW to HNL in mid 2000's. Captain was on younger side but highly "eccentric". Had a bobblehead hula dancer on the dash and hung his hand mic from overhead handle so that it hung in front of him as he made PA's like an old time mic.

Captain had two kit bags, halfway to Hawaii, FA's asked if we'd like food. I said no, but Captain ordered meals for everyone anyway. When food comes he takes all of my tray, can of soda included plus half of his and puts it in his empty kit bag. Throughout the flight he accumulated at least 1/2 dozen sodas, an extra sandwich after his bathroom break and even bags of peanuts and pretzels in his now full kit bag to go on layover in HNL.

Never ceases to amaze me just how cheap some pilots can be. And this is a wodebody Captain prior to 9/11.

tomgoodman
08-31-2017, 10:10 AM
Never ceases to amaze me just how cheap some pilots can be. And this is a wodebody Captain prior to 9/11.

Probably an urban legend, but there's the story of a pilot who carried burned-out lightbulbs to the layover hotel and swapped them for good ones. :D

CA1900
08-31-2017, 10:30 AM
Throughout the flight he accumulated at least 1/2 dozen sodas, an extra sandwich after his bathroom break and even bags of peanuts and pretzels in his now full kit bag to go on layover in HNL.


I flew with a guy at Netjets who was hauling as many as four crew meals to the hotel in their little plastic boxes. Next morning, he'd be hauling three of them back to the airport, where more would be delivered. It was bizarre.

Maybe it was the same guy from the above story? 🤣

rickair7777
08-31-2017, 11:28 AM
Probably an urban legend, but there's the story of a pilot who carried burned-out lightbulbs to the layover hotel and swapped them for good ones. :D

Ever why wonder why the TV remote in the hotel doesn't work?

Dougdrvr
08-31-2017, 12:45 PM
Probably an urban legend, but there's the story of a pilot who carried burned-out lightbulbs to the layover hotel and swapped them for good ones. :D
And steal the batteries out of the remote :D

AboveMins
08-31-2017, 01:03 PM
Probably an urban legend, but there's the story of a pilot who carried burned-out lightbulbs to the layover hotel and swapped them for good ones. :D

Not an urban legend. He's for real, and at XJT. I also found out he passed the Hogan. Go figure. Haha...

Sliceback
08-31-2017, 01:03 PM
Probably an urban legend, but there's the story of a pilot who carried burned-out lightbulbs to the layover hotel and swapped them for good ones. :D

No urban legend. True story. Would have been a 777 Captain at 45-48 yrs old if he wasn't fired at 40.

Sliceback
08-31-2017, 01:05 PM
Abovemins - the original, v1, is 58 yrs old. How old is v2?

AboveMins
08-31-2017, 01:25 PM
Abovemins - the original, v1, is 58 yrs old. How old is v2?

The one I observed was definitely not V1, he was a midpack ORD CA when I was based there. Probably late 40's, early 50's.

So, there's two lamp thieves floating around XJT???

tomgoodman
08-31-2017, 02:01 PM
No urban legend. True story. Would have been a 777 Captain at 45-48 yrs old if he wasn't fired at 40.

Yikes! I wonder what career he chose next....burglar? :rolleyes:

Packrat
08-31-2017, 02:28 PM
Not an urban legend. He's for real, and at XJT. I also found out he passed the Hogan. Go figure. Haha...

We had a guy like that at Alaska. He took home the extra toilet paper rolls, too.

badflaps
08-31-2017, 02:40 PM
I wonder why nobody steals those wonderfully thick and soft hotel towels.......

rickair7777
08-31-2017, 04:15 PM
He took home the extra toilet paper rolls, too.

I could see that. I never like the TP my wife buys so if I found a quality roll...

galaxy flyer
08-31-2017, 05:20 PM
"It's morally wrong to bring home dirty laundry". Yes, we expensed laundry sometimes at ludicrously high prices, like $125.

GF

freezingflyboy
08-31-2017, 08:24 PM
We had a guy like that at Alaska. He took home the extra toilet paper rolls, too.

Last crashpad I was in, you either showed up with TP or you showed up with booze. Woe to the pad mate who showed up empty handed!

MiLa
08-31-2017, 08:31 PM
Early 2000s, and I'm a fairly new 727 SO jumping somewhere on an American flight. AA required you to list in advance, and I managed to crack the code. I had heard everyone at AA could be a bit more "businesslike" at best and "cold" at worst, so I was really trying not to be screw up any of the standard etiquette stuff from the CSR check in on up to meeting the crew. Everything was going like clockwork, and the AA folks could not have been any nicer. When I finally made it to the cockpit, I was in uniform, and approached the cockpit...

The captain turned around slowly, never smiled, looked me up and down as I introduced myself and produced my credentials.
"How do I KNOW you an airline pilot?" he barked. Before I could even answer, he said loudly "any swinging dick can go buy an airline uniform somewhere..." Then..."any kid with a color copier can make a *(&% fake ID..." Things got a little icy for second as I sat there a bit stunned on what to say, and was already mentally trying to calculate the odds of catching a later flight on another carrier since it was obvious there was some kind of major malfunction going on here. About that time, he starred right into my eyes, and said "you got a *********ing hotel pen? Any real *&(^ airline pilot is going to have a hotel pen..." At that point I pulled the pen out of my shirt pocket and he started laughing hysterically. "Holy ****...you ARE a real airline pilot. Hey Linda--put this guy in first class! Welcome aboard! We are glad to have you!..."

SOB had me hook, line, and sinker for about 90 seconds. He played it very well. They could not have been any nicer, and the ride was awesome. Always enjoyed riding with AA ever since...both as a j/s and a paying pax.

Had a very similar experience with an AA Captain. I was brand new to the jumpseat experience. Instead of asking me about the hotel pen, he asked what the price of a USA Today is... I was nervous because I had no idea because I had never bought one. He finally just laughed and said," right answer, no pilot I know has ever paid for a USA Today!"

dogpilot
09-01-2017, 10:35 PM
Back on track. Delta jumpseat, CA is a loudmouth out there guy, and you can tell that the FO is ready for this 4 day pairing to be over. The CA is shouting song lyrics at the top of his lungs in flight and saying the most outlandish things. Halfway through the flight he pulls out his socks and hangs them around the cockpit, stating " I had to wash them in the hotel sink last night", crazy look from FO, "What, you can't pack enough socks for a four day to run in." He then eats a sandwich and pulls an old, used piece of dental floss from his pocket and flosses, removing large chunks of his sandwich, just recently eaten, from his teeth and flicks it about the cockpit. I nearly vomited.

bababouey
09-02-2017, 02:45 AM
Back on track. Delta jumpseat, CA is a loudmouth out there guy, and you can tell that the FO is ready for this 4 day pairing to be over. The CA is shouting song lyrics at the top of his lungs in flight and saying the most outlandish things. Halfway through the flight he pulls out his socks and hangs them around the cockpit, stating " I had to wash them in the hotel sink last night", crazy look from FO, "What, you can't pack enough socks for a four day to run in." He then eats a sandwich and pulls an old, used piece of dental floss from his pocket and flosses, removing large chunks of his sandwich, just recently eaten, from his teeth and flicks it about the cockpit. I nearly vomited.



I always made fun of the guys who wipe down the entire flight deck, until now.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

freezingflyboy
09-02-2017, 08:39 AM
I always made fun of the guys who wipe down the entire flight deck, until now.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I did too until I was on the jumpseat and the CA reclined his seat to almost horizontal, took off his shoe and used his toe to push the PTT switch on the glareshield. I started wiping everything down after that. Unfortunately some people are just gross and have no concept of how to act in a "shared workspace".

badflaps
09-02-2017, 12:37 PM
Too bad you guys missed the "smoking" cockpit.:eek:

worstpilotever
09-02-2017, 02:28 PM
Sitting in a guppy js waiting to push, capt whips out his nail clippers and clips his nails, and they went flying everywhere. No effort whatsoever to contain or clean them up.

prex8390
09-02-2017, 04:32 PM
Back on track. Delta jumpseat, CA is a loudmouth out there guy, and you can tell that the FO is ready for this 4 day pairing to be over. The CA is shouting song lyrics at the top of his lungs in flight and saying the most outlandish things. Halfway through the flight he pulls out his socks and hangs them around the cockpit, stating " I had to wash them in the hotel sink last night", crazy look from FO, "What, you can't pack enough socks for a four day to run in." He then eats a sandwich and pulls an old, used piece of dental floss from his pocket and flosses, removing large chunks of his sandwich, just recently eaten, from his teeth and flicks it about the cockpit. I nearly vomited.

Goes along the same type of story of flight attendants using the coffee maker in the hotel room to clean their panties. Heard that one many times. Thank god most places have keurigs now.

Salukipilot4590
09-03-2017, 02:57 AM
Sitting in a guppy js waiting to push, capt whips out his nail clippers and clips his nails, and they went flying everywhere. No effort whatsoever to contain or clean them up.

https://i.imgur.com/0WeDpSf.jpg

Literally like $3. Some men just want to watch the world burn.... :(

Pgus
09-03-2017, 06:52 AM
https://i.imgur.com/0WeDpSf.jpg

Literally like $3. Some men just want to watch the world burn.... :(

Why are you clipping your nails on the flight deck to begin with!!!!:confused:
(Not directed at you saluki)

TiredSoul
09-03-2017, 07:08 AM
Goes along the same type of story of flight attendants using the coffee maker in the hotel room to clean their panties. Heard that one many times. Thank god most places have keurigs now.

Thanks for that mental picture....I need bleach for my brain now...

METO Guido
09-03-2017, 09:07 AM
Yep, no sense sniffing them after they been in the coffee maker. All about manners really, anyone mind if I burn this Camel?

badflaps
09-03-2017, 09:10 AM
Goes along the same type of story of flight attendants using the coffee maker in the hotel room to clean their panties. Heard that one many times. Thank god most places have keurigs now.

Bingo! No wonder I couldn't duplicate that cup at home.

Jetpowered
09-03-2017, 11:09 AM
Thanks for that mental picture....I need bleach for my brain now...


Damnit, you guys got me stacking Lysol wipes in my flightbag again!
I had stopped it about 20 years ago....from now on it's sanitize EVERYTHING!

hilltopflyer
09-03-2017, 12:55 PM
Bingo! No wonder I couldn't duplicate that cup at home.

Why I never drink a cup of coffee from the hotel room. Even the kuerigs, heard some bad things being out into the water container.

RI830
09-03-2017, 04:09 PM
An AAL mechanic friend of mine told me they found a dead frog in one of the potable water tanks on a bird one time. Lord only knows how long that hopper had been in there!!

N19906
09-03-2017, 04:48 PM
Why are you clipping your nails on the flight deck to begin with!!!!:confused:
(Not directed at you saluki)

Because he forgot to do it into the ice bucket back in the hotel room.

(Yeah, one of our FA's mentioned doing that years ago. (Toenails.) I've never been able to wipe it from my mind. :( )

flensr
09-03-2017, 07:28 PM
Because of "reasons", I got a call waking me up one morning saying I was late and the plane was on the ramp full of people waiting for me. I emptied my dirty laundry basket into a bag and got to the plane before anyone got too mad. Only seat left was the jumpseat, so in I go, not really paying attention to anything but the seatbelt and not stepping on... Wait. Is that really an empty pudding cup I just stepped on? And is that... yes, that's a crushed juice box under the FO seat.

During the rest of the flight (about 2.5 hours) I sat in growing horror at my surroundings, unable to avoid noticing the remains of 4-5 full meals strewn on the floor, tucked into every little crevice. Sandwich bags, chip bags, even a neat little pile of bones from what used to be either fried chicken or chicken wings.

My guess (hope) is that the plane was quick-turned from an atlantic crossing and the flying crew were just innocent victims too... except that they sat in that filth for at least 30 minutes waiting for my sorry carcass to arrive without cleaning any of it up, and they seemed oblivious to it during the flight. Decades of stereotypes confirmed in a 2.5 hour lifetime.

2 gold stars for anyone who can guess the plane type :)

BizJet
09-03-2017, 08:53 PM
Urban legend I heard during my time at XJT was that a FA can'd both engines in flight. She was hanging onto the fire levers when they hit some rough air and fell forward. That must have been a fun flight for those few long seconds until they threw the handles back into place!


When I was still a bright eye'd bushy tail newhire I rode a mainline A320 JS. The crew was super nice and offered one of their meals. After finishing, I couldn't find a place to sit the tray so I decided to lay it on my jepp case. Well I forgot it was there until touchdown. At that point the entire tray, dishes and all, went flying across the cockpit making a horrendous noise.

rickair7777
09-04-2017, 04:05 PM
Because he forgot to do it into the ice bucket back in the hotel room.

(Yeah, one of our FA's mentioned doing that years ago. (Toenails.) I've never been able to wipe it from my mind. :( )

That's why they give you those plastic bags....



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