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View Full Version : You might be an ACMI pilot if...


4runner
02-23-2018, 04:43 AM
You might be an ACMI pilot if you’ve tripped over a stack of rifles whilst conducting a walk around.


labbats
02-23-2018, 05:58 AM
I like turtles

DeadStick
02-23-2018, 07:02 AM
I’ll go:

You’ve mistook the different colored vodkas for juices at a hotel breakfast buffet in a CIS state.

You’ve accidentally tried to use Kyrgyz som to pay for something in Almaty.

You’ve walked into breakfast at 6am with beer in hand, after landing at 3am and reopening the hotel bar with the crew.


JackStraw
02-23-2018, 09:11 AM
Mods.. have you ever locked a thread just for being stupid?

Red Baron
02-23-2018, 09:14 AM
Mods.. have you ever locked a thread just for being stupid?

We all could use a little humor......life is too short so laugh a little.

rickair7777
02-23-2018, 09:15 AM
Mods.. have you ever locked a thread just for being stupid?

Stupid, yes. But we usually let funny slide.

Fly4Boating
02-23-2018, 11:30 AM
You might be an ACMI pilot if you have a day off between Monday and Tuesday.

WHACKMASTER
02-23-2018, 01:23 PM
Mods.. have you ever locked a thread just for being stupid?

If you’ve ever done ACMI you’d understand the twisted humor behind these posts. Now run along. No one says you have to read this “stupid” thread.

BigfootCapo
02-23-2018, 02:26 PM
You logged 70 hours this month, but expired on landings
You know how to say “beer please” in 19 different languages
You forgot what home looks like
You gave thumbs up sign to the waiter on first trip to middle east when asked if food was ok

Riverside
02-23-2018, 05:39 PM
Mods.. have you ever locked a thread just for being stupid?

Alligeiant is hiring. Go there.

tengssuuciurta
02-23-2018, 06:20 PM
Alligeiant is hiring. Go there.

lol, well played

WhipWhitaker
02-23-2018, 09:41 PM
Alligeiant is hiring. Go there.
Got em'... Hilarious

JackStraw
02-23-2018, 09:57 PM
Got em'... Hilarious

Allegiant IS hiring.

Adlerdriver
02-24-2018, 01:46 AM
...if the “Hours of service” section of your contract simply states: “See FARs”.

...if your RFO arrives as you and the Captain are doing the pre-flight duties, jokes that he’s on his first leg of IOE and you laugh, he asks some dumb questions while looking around excitedly.......you realize he’s not joking and neither one of your are an LCA

Hetman
02-24-2018, 03:33 AM
You might be an ACMI pilot if you have a day off between Monday and Tuesday.

Not everyone will get this immediately. Spot on. Well played.

Atlas Shrugged
02-24-2018, 06:39 AM
Or if you have to take a picture of your room number with your phone, and frequently forget what city/country you are in...

Red Baron
02-24-2018, 06:44 AM
Or if you have to take a picture of your room number with your phone, and frequently forget what city/country you are in...

Or you have to look at the address on your room phone to figure out what city/country you're in.....

TiredSoul
02-24-2018, 06:57 AM
On your time off you don’t wear a watch as time has no meaning anymore...

robthree
02-24-2018, 05:45 PM
...if crew scheduling has ever forgotten about you for more than a week, while you were at work.

GunnerV
02-24-2018, 07:24 PM
On your time off you don’t wear a watch as time has no meaning anymore...

And when you do wear a watch you set it to zulu time because changing it to local time every time you land does no good.

Rama
02-24-2018, 07:57 PM
You come home and your dog bites you and the kids say "Who is that mama?"

Crazy Canuck
02-24-2018, 11:33 PM
You can’t stand listening to your buddies complain about those “long 4 days”

Crazy Canuck
02-24-2018, 11:34 PM
You log more time deadheading then you do flying.

LNL76
02-25-2018, 06:58 AM
You can’t stand listening to your buddies complain about those “long 4 days”

So true! You look at them and laugh...

flyingtom145
02-25-2018, 07:03 AM
....You put your dirty clothes (Darks and Whites) into one washing machine in a foreign country and stare in horror when your passport comes to the front of the washing machine glass and all you can do is sit there and watch it spin for an hour till the cycle is complete.

ke4lir
02-25-2018, 07:16 AM
....You put your dirty clothes (Darks and Whites) into one washing machine in a foreign country and stare in horror when your passport comes to the front of the washing machine glass and all you can do is sit there and watch it spin for an hour till the cycle is complete.

Giving my clothes to the house girl in Kenya to wash, and never seeing either again!

tomgoodman
02-25-2018, 10:57 AM
...if crew scheduling has ever forgotten about you for more than a week, while you were at work.

Pilot’s dream: CS forgets about you for twenty years, but Payroll Department keeps sending checks.....:D

lionflyer
02-25-2018, 11:16 AM
....You put your dirty clothes (Darks and Whites) into one washing machine in a foreign country and stare in horror when your passport comes to the front of the washing machine glass and all you can do is sit there and watch it spin for an hour till the cycle is complete.
That actually happened with my wallet. I had to blow dry my medical.

Industry Strnd
02-25-2018, 12:47 PM
If you believe you're only worth ACMI rates and less than standard industry contracts. ACMI is a term ALPA uses as an excuse for not doing their job as a union!

gumpscheck
02-25-2018, 04:56 PM
If you believe you're only worth ACMI rates and less than standard industry contracts. ACMI is a term ALPA uses as an excuse for not doing their job as a union!

Excellent point!!

mrvmo
02-25-2018, 04:57 PM
If you believe you're only worth ACMI rates and less than standard industry contracts. ACMI is a term ALPA uses as an excuse for not doing their job as a union!

Hey Industry Strnd,

Go be a turd on a different thread.....this one is f in hilarious!!

l8fr82hub
02-25-2018, 06:45 PM
Hey Industry Strnd,

Go be a turd on a different thread.....this one is f in hilarious!!

He's trying to build up his total posts to seem credible. 4 posts total total since yesterday. He's an idiot!

SouthernCr0ss
02-25-2018, 08:15 PM
And when you do wear a watch you set it to zulu time because changing it to local time every time you land does no good.

1)...Or you leave your watch set to home, to remind you when NOT to call home...

2) You turn your phone on when you land to find out what time it is "here" and to figure out when you have to report next... (Lol, then turn it off... You know why...😂)
3) when you call home, and your kiddo asks "what time is it where you are?" You reply "Oh nine", and he does not ask am/pm, but ends the conversation with "goodnight daddy sleep well, are you coming home next month?"

Keep this one up with our life (God forbid)... No politics! Just life.

Al Czervik
02-26-2018, 10:21 AM
This thread is a little frightening.

TiredSoul
02-26-2018, 10:38 AM
You're bored at night over the Pacific..till you realize you're literally 1000 Miles from anywhere...boredom replaced by terror as you realize you may have flown over the edge.

https://rudypont.files.wordpress.com/2013/11/ku-xlarge.jpg?w=300&h=168

Out Of Trim
02-26-2018, 10:05 PM
All of the languages begin to run together until you realize that obtaining a beer, a sandwich, and a face slap means you’re fluent.

Out Of Trim
02-26-2018, 10:12 PM
I don’t mind if you ask me what time it is, just don’t ask me what day it is.

Csy Mon
02-27-2018, 01:36 AM
When 40 hour duty days are the new normal followed by a 2 week layover in some exotic country that is famous for Human Rights violations.

woog315
02-28-2018, 12:20 AM
When 40 hour duty days are the new normal followed by a 2 week layover in some exotic country that is famous for Human Rights violations.

When your pilot group decertifies from the union that

1. just got them a good contract and
2. is working to unify the ramp of a huge part of your business (a ramp that just got a whole lot larger)

because the union is trying to build something and wouldn't agree to scheduled 24+hr duty days... and you join the group literally undermining all the efforts instead of branching out on your own? *bombs away*

727C47
02-28-2018, 01:44 AM
When your pilot group decertifies from the union that

1. just got them a good contract and
2. is working to unify the ramp of a huge part of your business (a ramp that just got a whole lot larger)

because the union is trying to build something and wouldn't agree to scheduled 24+hr duty days... and you join the group literally undermining all the efforts instead of branching out on your own? *bombs away*
Right K4's competition had their best interests at heart, bless their 1224 altruistic hearts ♥️ , nice troll attempt : ) it was K4's NC that got the contract, despite the blather. Good on them. Good luck with your contract, may you raise the bar , everybody wishes you all well and hope you knock it out of the park.Sincerely.

Hetman
02-28-2018, 03:37 AM
(paraphrasing) I am the life of the party.

Nothing like a healthy dose of hate to buzzkill an entertaining discussion.

You might be an ACMI pilot if, when you wake up, you don't know if the dim light filtering through the window is dawn or dusk.

Boris Badenov
02-28-2018, 05:50 AM
You've nothing better to do on your 2 week Doha layover than invade totally unrelated threads to continue your purse fights.

4runner
02-28-2018, 07:44 AM
Giving my clothes to the house girl in Kenya to wash, and never seeing either again!

Or when you bought a pet rabbit and they cooked it when you were on a 3 day..

4runner
02-28-2018, 07:46 AM
Btw, you’re all welcome for this. There’s another thread on pprune that’s similar titled “you might be in Africa if”

WHACKMASTER
03-01-2018, 07:13 PM
You’re filing your flight plan in the base of the tower in a god-forsaken sh!h0le African country when the burka clad controller who’s helping you fill out the paperwork suddenly excuses herself, grabs her prayer rug and disappears for several minutes.

robthree
03-04-2018, 05:20 PM
...if your jumbo size passport is less than five years old, but you still have to get a new one, because all the pages are filled with entry/exit stamps and visas.

Csy Mon
03-04-2018, 07:46 PM
When the company gives you $40k in cash and tell you walk over to the tower to pay landing fees, no receipts expected or required.

When the airplane breaks down and won’t fly for a while because there are no parts in the entire country. One of the guys go to the bar and guzzle down 6 beers in 2 hours and mx call to advice the plane is ready. You all dress up and go fly.

When you have premium sea food catering out of ANC and the mechanic and load Master help them self to the best stuff just after T/O while the cockpit crew are busy. And it happens every time..

When crew schedule dead-head you to Bombay and instruct you to call when you get there. You call and they ask what you are doing in Bombay...?
3 days later they call and ask you to dead-home.

When you unexpectedly have to land in some African country you never heard of, then lie through your teeth to avoid paying the $10k cash landing fee you don’t have.

When you ariive in Kazakhstan tired as a dog and the hotel says they have no reservations for you, besides there are no rooms available in the entire town.
When the same happens in Africa shortly after.

When you dead-head into some obscure country without Visas in the passport and have to negotiate your release for the next 3 hours.

:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

(3 years with Evergreen, 7 years with Tower Air, 3 years with Tradewinds, etc.)

l8fr82hub
03-04-2018, 09:44 PM
You might be an ACMI pilot if, when you wake up, you don't know if the dim light filtering through the window is dawn or dusk.

That one definitely strikes a nerve!

4runner
03-06-2018, 05:20 AM
You’ve got T-Mobile. Autopay for bills, normally carry emergency $100 bills(2008 or newer), have had to empty or “donate” liquor as you were dead heading to a dry country, at least 3 different SIM cards, several power adaptors, an external battery for when the plugs still don’t work, you’ve taken a scooter taxi, have a souvenir ping pong, counterfeit viagra orders or you know how many family members the Filipino handler has.

Red Baron
03-06-2018, 12:26 PM
You’ve got T-Mobile. Autopay for bills, normally carry emergency $100 bills(2008 or newer), have had to empty or “donate” liquor as you were dead heading to a dry country, at least 3 different SIM cards, several power adaptors, an external battery for when the plugs still don’t work, you’ve taken a scooter taxi, have a souvenir ping pong, counterfeit viagra orders or you know how many family members the Filipino handler has.

Hilarious but oh so true....:cool:



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