Help with custody case
 

I'm divorced in NV, and looking at returning from furlough to piloting in the future. I am looking for examples of custody orders/parenting plans that mandate a certain number of days per month to the pilot/parent based on bid results/timing. I currently have joint physical but the ex is extremely uncooperative with moving days, and that will be worse once I'm a bottom feeder on reserve again and commuting out of state. Looking for specific legal verbiage that I can show to my judge as "proof" of what other pilots/states do. Any help is much appreciated!

Please pm if you can help. Thanks!

Lil help...?

In a nutshell, I will present a schedule no later than the 1st each month. I have two weekends a month. If I have a third one off, then my ex can change the weekends. Week day visits are for dinner. I pay for all transportation costs. I drive about 150 miles each way. I just ended weekend visits when my oldest son started high school. I now spend a full Saturday or Sunday with them. Vacations alternate years except Christmas which is split. If I don't get it off, I loose the time. No make ups. Summer is 12 days at my home. 12 days are my minimum days off guarantee.

Thx Johnny, sounds less than ideal. You drive 150 miles for dinner? Why did weekend visits stop in HS...bc kid wants to be with friends close to moms house?

Vagabond, thx. Seen it and wanted more/updated info and plans. Oh well.
Cheers

I insisted in mediation that I have my son all of my scheduled days off up to 15. If over 15 days off, I choose the 15. I must present her my schedule by the 17th at 1800 via text, email or hard copy. I also insisted that he attend school based on my residence. That was intended to keep her from moving the far extremes of our county. While we have joint custody, I agreed to pay the maximum child support $1500/month, cover insurance, and control his college fund. Sounds like you are already divorced, so it may be harder to go back and change it. I'd heard too many horror stories of guys not seeing their children other than 4-5 days per month due to ridiculous visitation situations. In our state (Texas) the standard is every 1st, 3rd and if there is 5th weekend and every Thursday. That was unacceptable to me as a junior in category commuter. When the ex agreed in mediation to this, I relented on some of the economic issues we faced vs chancing little interaction with my son. Good luck

I too had a clause "no less than xxx days a month visitation" which could supersede the other "normal" visitation stipulations.

Nerd, sounds like you got a fair deal and your ex was at least somewhat reasonable. I have been somewhat railroaded by a biased, ignorant system, and am trying to better define my custody. That's why I'm looking for actual documentation of court orders...so I can PROVE what you say you got is "normal" for pilots. I can "insist" all I want to the judge...just like I can to the company CEO. If you have actual language (personal ID removed), it would help.

NV does define joint custody as a minimum of 40% (60 max for her), so I'm not really changing anything, just "insisting" I get at least the minimum.

Oceanic, I'd love to see your actual language too if you'll agree (PM). Not your personal info, just custody details I can show the court are legit options, so I can convince the judge my request is normal and reasonable. Thx

The biggest thing for you to remember is that you must represent to the court your willingness to be a presence in your children's lives.

The court's have become much more Dad friendly, thank God. The avg Dad only sees his kids 4 days a month, every other weekend. Even though our lifestyle is a lot more dynamic, you have to sell that judge on how GREAT it is that you have the ability to see your kids 12-15 days a month! You can drop them off and pick them up from school, take them to practice, help with homework, make breakfast, lunch and dinner! Pilots are Superdads in a way that the avg Joe (no offense) can never be because of the precious free TIME you have to offer your kids.

We sold this idea to the court and won 8 nights a month, which was great for everyone except psychomom. Just remember, the court (judge) and your atty assumes the avg Joe schedule. You have to paint a picture for them each time you sit down of all the QT those kids will get. You have to keep reminding them!

Warning: Our schedule varies from month to month, which psychomoms like to paint as a negative. "The kids won't be on a schedule!" You have to be prepared with a gameplan.

Ours was to go to court with a calendar. We presented the plan to the judge as a suggestion of how the kids would know what the plan would be weeks in advance. Each parent was required to mark the special days of the year that they wished to spend with the kids IN ADVANCE. The days that were duplicated were split every other year, and extra special days to be negotiated later. You should have seen Sateena's face. The judge LOVED it! Judges LOVE when someone comes in with a calm reasonable plan so that they don't have to make the hard choices and be the bad guy!

Last, you must fulfill your rights to visitation. If she goes back to court saying you never see the kids or do what you say you will do, the judge could revise the order. Also document methodically and thoroughly Everything you and your ex discuss, no matter how small, with date, time, and content written in a log. Also document everything negative your kids repeat, and never ever say anything negative about her or let them overhear you saying something. You will have a lot more credibility in court with a written log than just "she said...."

Good luck. And remember that for your kids to be normal later in life the need to be able to love you both unconditionally now. Don't take away their joy of their Mother and don't let her do that to you. Even if she is Satan's Mistress.