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Cadet pilot dilemma - pilots please help!

Old 09-22-2017, 06:07 PM
  #31  
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Originally Posted by Pokeysrider View Post
First) - Western wives might have different mindset than Asian apparently do.
Second) - your first years will have little days off.
Third and most important) - your marriage will end in divorce from your absences. For FAA certs, what I've seen in 16 months wway from home (or longer). The Chinese ab initio students that I ttrained do not get to possess their actual FAA certificates, the company holds them as soon as they are mailed by the FAA. They do have their paper temps, but they get local certicates to fly.
You will not fly into the US without an FAA certificate.
If you ARE AS WEALTHY AS YOU SAY, then get a visa, come here to train and bring your wife while becoming naturalized citizen; after you acquire your com multi with some turbine time you can apply for job there.
Either way, you cannot run your business while you are in an ab inito training environment, as it is very rigorous and difficult.
Hi there! This ab initio program I applied for, I'll only need to leave home for 6-10 months to Australia for the flying. It'll be an MPL (so alot of time is done on Sims, which is done back home here in Singapore). Besides the training that's going to be tough, I'm more concerned about the lifestyle of an airline pilot, having to be away from home for days on end. I have no intention of being a citizen anywhere else.
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Old 09-22-2017, 06:15 PM
  #32  
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This career is definately not for you. You won't last or make it past training. You must be passionate about flying to be successful, atleast in 99% of the cases. Or just super smart with an ability of fly. Don't waste your time. Move on to something more suitable or get rid of the wife.
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Old 09-22-2017, 06:16 PM
  #33  
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Originally Posted by Pokeysrider View Post
First) - Western wives might have different mindset than Asian apparently do.
Second) - your first years will have little days off.
Third and most important) - your marriage will end in divorce from your absences. For FAA certs, what I've seen in 16 months wway from home (or longer). The Chinese ab initio students that I ttrained do not get to possess their actual FAA certificates, the company holds them as soon as they are mailed by the FAA. They do have their paper temps, but they get local certicates to fly.
You will not fly into the US without an FAA certificate.
If you ARE AS WEALTHY AS YOU SAY, then get a visa, come here to train and bring your wife while becoming naturalized citizen; after you acquire your com multi with some turbine time you can apply for job there.
Either way, you cannot run your business while you are in an ab inito training environment, as it is very rigorous and difficult.
To pile on to the marriage piece of this, I and many others can tell you from experience. Your wife sounds like someone I know. She was uprooted, moved far away from any family or friends with no support system and hated being alone. Always told that it would get better. That's my ex wife.

What you said about your wife is almost exactly word for word what I would have said years ago about my ex, so if you're willing accept the possibility of trading your wife for this job, then do it. It's a balance only you know. My wife now is incredible and in no way would I ever utter words close to those about her.
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Old 09-22-2017, 06:37 PM
  #34  
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Originally Posted by Galaxy5 View Post
To pile on to the marriage piece of this, I and many others can tell you from experience. Your wife sounds like someone I know. She was uprooted, moved far away from any family or friends with no support system and hated being alone. Always told that it would get better. That's my ex wife.

What you said about your wife is almost exactly word for word what I would have said years ago about my ex, so if you're willing accept the possibility of trading your wife for this job, then do it. It's a balance only you know. My wife now is incredible and in no way would I ever utter words close to those about her.
Hi there! I'm sorry for probing, but did you ex-wife get used to it and settle down eventually? My wife has settled down in my country here in Singapore (we moved back here almost 4 years ago). We visit her family a few times a year and they come to visit once every year (2 hrs flight from Singapore). The thing is, my wife isn't the independent type who loves making new friends, etc. We're happy together and I love her very much, and I don't want to trade her for anything in the world honestly. Money is not really an issue for us too.

I read that in the US and many other countries, pilots usually have to pay for their own training, and go through the regional-> major route. However for this ab initio program at my local carrier, they are a major already (voted top 5 airline in the world many years in a row), and they pay for the training, and promises a job. Sounds like a very good job opportunity for the long-term.

Sigh, it's really confusing!
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Old 09-22-2017, 07:06 PM
  #35  
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There will be no "getting used to it" for your wife. Either she is onboard with the lifestyle (because it will be a lifestyle for both of you) or she isn't. And even if she in onboard with the pilot wife lifestyle it can be difficult at times. Take my schedule for this month... I've only been able to spend 5 full days at home. During this time my wife had to evacuate our home with our 15 month old son along with our cat and dog, and drive 15 hours all alone because of a hurricane. Sure it was an extreme situation, but when I'm not home (and even when I am home) she is the boss of the house and has to be both mom and dad all at the same time with little to no input from me.
And that's just dealing with the spousal issues...

You'll find any ab initio tough if you don't have a real passion for flying. It can be a great career if you do have the passion, but it seems like you might be lacking what it takes. Tried and true advice would be to get your PPL first just to see if it's something you enjoy doing. Otherwise it may be a waste of time. If you find that you do like it, you might want to move back to the States in order for you to have even the slimmer of a chance of a successful marriage. While you pay for your own training here, you also won't be beholden to a bond forever.
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Old 09-22-2017, 07:21 PM
  #36  
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Originally Posted by Dilemma View Post
Hi there! I'm sorry for probing, but did you ex-wife get used to it and settle down eventually? My wife has settled down in my country here in Singapore (we moved back here almost 4 years ago). We visit her family a few times a year and they come to visit once every year (2 hrs flight from Singapore). The thing is, my wife isn't the independent type who loves making new friends, etc. We're happy together and I love her very much, and I don't want to trade her for anything in the world honestly. Money is not really an issue for us too.
She wouldn't be an ex wife if she did settle in. She had a job, made a few friends, etc., but hardly settled in the sense I could be comfortable leaving her for a week at a time and knowing she would be ok mentally and emotionally. I'm telling you, you sound like me 6-9 years ago.
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Old 09-22-2017, 07:56 PM
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Originally Posted by Galaxy5 View Post
She wouldn't be an ex wife if she did settle in. She had a job, made a few friends, etc., but hardly settled in the sense I could be comfortable leaving her for a week at a time and knowing she would be ok mentally and emotionally. I'm telling you, you sound like me 6-9 years ago.
Can I just ask, at that time, did you love her very much and felt that you wouldn't leave her for anything like a job, money, etc.? If that's the case, and you could earn the same amount of money as an airline pilot working a ground-based job back then (6-9 years ago), would you have quit your job as a pilot to take on the new job? Since the new job was going to pay the same, and has the same career prospects in the long-term money-wise?

Didn't you feel guilty/bad about having to leave her for days at a time, while she's all alone, feeling sad, and wondering what you're doing? Just trying to get into your frame of mind 6-9 years ago, so I can learn from your mistakes/lessons/experience.
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Old 09-23-2017, 12:13 AM
  #38  
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Originally Posted by Dilemma View Post
Hi there! I'm sorry for probing, but did you ex-wife get used to it and settle down eventually? My wife has settled down in my country here in Singapore (we moved back here almost 4 years ago). We visit her family a few times a year and they come to visit once every year (2 hrs flight from Singapore). The thing is, my wife isn't the independent type who loves making new friends, etc. We're happy together and I love her very much, and I don't want to trade her for anything in the world honestly. Money is not really an issue for us too.

I read that in the US and many other countries, pilots usually have to pay for their own training, and go through the regional-> major route. However for this ab initio program at my local carrier, they are a major already (voted top 5 airline in the world many years in a row), and they pay for the training, and promises a job. Sounds like a very good job opportunity for the long-term.

Sigh, it's really confusing!
If your wife is having adaptation issues and you can work from anywhere, perhaps the compromise is for you to come work in the US as a pilot (while working your web based company), and bring her home so she can live the life she wants while you live the life you want.
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Old 09-23-2017, 06:05 AM
  #39  
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This does not sound like something you should do.
She will be sitting home miserable, you will be out flying to different cities and then sitting in hotels...knowing your wife is home miserable and there is nothing you can do about it....week after week after week.
If she was saying "go follow your dream to become a pilot because I love you and want to see you happy and successful" , that would be a different story but she is not saying that and as you said, this is not your dream job.
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Old 09-23-2017, 07:18 AM
  #40  
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10 year training bond!!! Indentured servant. Modern day slave
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