Family Life of an Airline Pilot
 

APC Members,

I am looking for insights and experiences of airline pilots who also have a family. I know the airline business is 365/24/7, so holidays, birthdays, special events etc. will be moved or missed, especially as a junior pilot. I am considering a career switch to flying for the airlines, and family life is probably one of my biggest concerns aside from job security.

I am 29, have a bachelor's degree in Marine Engineering and have been working in a cubicle for the past 7 years. It has allowed me to buy a house in San Diego, save a lot of money and be home almost every night, however, I am completely apathetic about what I do at work. I started taking flying lessons for fun and I am currently working on XC's, so PPL isn't that far away. I have heard from a number of sources that regionals are hiring again and I am wondering if it's worth the investment to make the switch. I know the first years are going to be tough financially, however my wife is a well paid ICU RN and I have enough saved to get myself through most of the ratings. I would continue to work and fly on the side through a Part 61 school.

My biggest concern would be that once I land a job with a regional airline, I would be gone all the time. How many days in a row should I expect to be gone as a new FO with a regional? Does it get any better with seniority? Is it possible to have a family life and work as a Regional/Major airline? Ultimately, I wonder if it's worth trading time with family to have a job that I enjoy.

Observations:

You currently make good money and have great family life. You do not like "your job."

With the airline (or professional pilot job in general) job, you may like it (but that is yet to be seen) and WILL be gone a lot, and WILL NOT make any decent amount of money (???) probably sub-50K for the first 5-7 years. My buddy at a 121 airline, has been on the road EVERY Christmas, period, since hire about 6 or 7 years ago.

You have to look at "what is important" and if you have a family, its not just you anymore. Maybe the job is not "fulfilling" but try volunteer work, church activities, school substitute teaching, etc stuff to find some reward outside of work.

Good Luck

Only you can make the call. You have a big advantage in that your wife has one of the few high-paying jobs which are readily portable...I've told plenty of young pilots to stay single unless they can find a doctor or specialty nurse.

You might be at a "sweet spot", regionals are already having trouble filling classes. By the time you get there the majors should have ramped up hiring noticeably so you should move up relatively quickly (compared to the last decade).

Get on with Skywest on the EMB120 and you can drive to LAX or PSP. Your seniority should move up pretty quickly, right now you can get weekends and holidays off after a year or less. Then you could camp out until you upgrade at a relative seniority that works for you, and the majors should call shortly after. You could easily stay in SOCAL up until you get hired at a major and then maybe only a few years before you can make your way back west.

LAX may also end up as a junior base for Compass.

But don't waste any time if you're going to do it, the cost/payoff equation only gets worse as you get older.

I say follow your dream! You don't want to end up a bitter old man wondering, "what if?". :)

The only way to really find out if the career is for you is to try it out. I grew up in an airline family. I knew what I was getting myself into. I gave it a shot for 14 years. After some life changing events, and what I believe was "divine intervention", I now do something completely different- for the sake of putting my family first. I look at it as a huge chapter in my life, with fond memories. However, the memories I am making now are even more important. Being away from home for over half the year, you will miss ALOT of family events. It is a matter of priorities and life choices. My health, and being with my loved ones matter the most to me.

V/R

Only you can decide. Before I made the return to aviation, my wife & talked about it and she supported me 100% in the move. It is a sacrifice, especially with children. A lot of this will depend on how you manage your time away from home and while you're at home. I recommend, when you are home, be home & when you are on the road, stay connected. The time that you have together with your family, make it count, go hiking, take photos, etc., things that won't drive you into debt, but will create fond memories. While we're on the topic of money, unless your wife has a good job or you have a side business, your resources will be quite strained for a number of years. If you and your family can agree to work through the difficulties of the life of a professional aviator. I've been truly blessed with a very supportive wife that keeps our children happy, even when they miss their father.

I hope this helps.

All I can say is, sure follow your dream etc etc but if you have kids, make sure the wife and kids are aware (as much as they can be) of what your new career entails. I have two kids, thank God for his blessings and my wife's (due to our financial situation) not having to work, she is stay at home, full time, soccer mom, bakes cupcakes with them, takes them to school, etc, my kids are awesome little guys. Top grades, well behaved, dad comes home and they want to hang out with dad. BUT ! We have ONE chance to raise kids once they are born. ONE. 18 years and in reality only 12, as age 1 month thru 12 is when you really "program them" and 12, 13, and later, whatever happened before 13, they are retaining it. Just my opinion. And your kids are forever, a job is not.

Like someone said, You don't want to end up a bitter old man wondering, "what if?".

For what its worth bro...

I'll add to Satpak great comments...I have 7 kids from preK to college. My wife has her teaching degree but we've been blessed to allow her to stay home with the kids all my 20+ military career. I've seen all types of situations where families try to avoid moving to provide stability for their families and others who move every 2 years or so. In either case I can point to friends with really screwed up kids. So there is no magic formula.

As I work to get hired by a major airline, I am looking forward to having better quality time with my family. For me this means, when I am not at work I am not tied to a blackberry or short notice requests from my boss or reacting to some world event two continents away. I plan to live in base to lower my actual days away from home especially in the first 3-5 years. I will probably miss alot of holidays but we're used to that and make up for it at other times.

There is one thing I know for sure. Enjoy your kids when they are young. I have no greater joy than coming home to leg hugs from my 4 and 5 year old. As satpak stated after 12/13 all bets are off when the teenage funk hits. They usually come back around after 23 but its never the same. You do only get one shot and even if you do an outstanding job your kids may still fail to reach the potential you see in them. All part of the responsiblity of being a parent.

Money is just one factor in the whole equation--good luck figuring it all out.

I work for a Supplemental 121 Airline. I am away a minimum 18 days and can be away from home up to 36 days....BUT...I get OFF a minimum of 10 days in a row that can also turn into a 20 day OFF block...and once a year I bid my schedule OFF days with vacation for an 8 week OFF schedule...I don't commute, my airline lets me live anywhere and they commercial out to where an airplane will be. It's hard...BUT...no matter where I am in the world FaceTime keeps me in touch with the family everyday, plus I have a video security system through out my house and watch what the family is up to. They know I could be watching anytime and sometimes I catch them waving at a camera....I'm upgrading the system for two way communication at this time.

Follow your dreams, but make certain your family understands the sacrifices. If your chasing money you will be very disappointed with the airline world. The moral of the industry is horrible and you will fly with people that are all doom and gloom...and those try very hard to bring you into their same frame of thinking. You will learn every pilot is an expert in the subject conversation you have, and if your not good dealing with type A personalities it's an intimidating work environment.

I've been flying for over 30 years...Make good money. Still married to a great women and still in love...All my kids are normal and in the Navy. The youngest just got his Wings. Some will blame their airline for their family problems, but those problems were already there. I don't regret any decision Or career path I chose....Good luck with what you decide.

PM me when you get enough posts.

Proceed with Caution
 

If you value anything you wrote here, than I would seriously re-think this as a career. Fly for fun since you make good money. All jobs, including aviation, become just jobs after time. This is a single persons game when you are starting out.
I heard on day one, (Once I made it to flying jets) and I quote:

"Gentleman....(pause for impact).....Our profession suffers from AIDS! ....Aviation Induced Divorce Syndrome!"

He was right in my case and all too many other professionals I know.

I could elaborate more but you get the point.

You can expect to be gone from home for up to six days at a time when on reserve. 2 to 5 days or so as line holder depending on the month. Starting out you will work most weekends, all the holidays. My airline has a minimum of 11 days off a month for reserves. As a line holder I normally see 13 to 16 days off a month. but the rest you can plan on being gone, and if you have to commute you can plan of having to commute on days off much of the month.

Vacations are bid by seniority so expect several years of jan thru mar vacations.

Airlines don't care who you are, you are a number in the computer. they don't care whos birthday it is who's kid has a soccer game, who has an anniversary etc. You are paid to move airplanes when they need them moved. Nothing else.

You will fly all night some months and all day others. You will be sleeping when the family is awake, or home when the family is gone to school and work a lot.

Now having said all that if you have the right woman it can be a great career. In over 2 decades of airline flying my wife and I have seen ups and downs but she understands. Many cannot deal with it and divorce rates for airline pilots are pretty high. If your wife gets upset if you are late from work one night or if you have to work on a day that you thought you had off...don't bother with the airline career, it will only end up bad for your marriage.

Your wife needs to be the type that can call a plumber or an air conditioning repair man or get a car towed by herself, because after all these years one thing I can tell you is that you are always 12 states away anytime something breaks at home....never fails. Kid is puking his guts up....you on opposite coast, kid breaks arm...you are in a hotel etc etc. You can expect to have to commute also. I had to commute for roughly 10 years all total. Not all in one streak, but you can expect to get forcibly pushed from base to base at times. Commuting is the single biggest stress in the industry to me. During AME visits my blood pressure has consistently run higher during the commuter periods than it does when I am not commuting.

If the family can handle all that and make it through the early lean years it can be great, good money, good time off as long as it does not have to be holidays etc. You hardly ever see your boss. I have been in the same base for about 10 years and my chief pilot recognizes my face as one of his pilots but he would not be able to put a name with it without looking at my I.D. But then again there are over 1000 pilots in this one domicile. Regionals can be decent but you really don't get to the good stuff till you make it to a major.

One really nice thing is this, airline pilot is probably the only well paid job out there that you do not take home with you. When you climb off the jet you are done. Home is home. No paperwork, no getting numbers together for tomorrows meeting etc. Home work events are limited to getting a fresh medical every six months and the occasional studying for your recurrent training or for a new airplane.

You get used to having the "holidays" whenever you happen to be home. The date 12/25 will be meaningless. Christmas will be when Dad happens to be off.

LOL that's the truth...My kids got to the point that they would ask me "When is our Christmas this year dad?"

There are 2 paths you can follow as an airline pilot. Quality of life or quality of paycheck. QOL means not bidding left seat or bigger equipment or a new base for more pay. If you stay in the right seat in a particular a/c, your seniority and bidding options get better with time, but your paycheck doesn't.

This doesn't work so well with big families. The extended family will stick to the published schedule.

But if there are no in-laws, grandparents, aunts, uncles, or cousins involved (or you hate them all) then yeah you can make your own holiday schedule.

Thanks to everybody for their insights. I really appreciate the objective opinions and the facts. I grew up in a military family so I know firsthand how it can be to have my dad gone all the time, however I don't remember missing him as much as I remember the good times. I am also surrounded by extended family, all within 20 minutes of the house which is something I grew up without, so although commuting would be stressful, I feel like I could make it work with help from the family.

I don't think an aviation career will be my missing piece of life's puzzle, as most jobs turn into a rote ritual after time, but one of the most attractive elements of flying for an airline besides flying large aircraft is that you can leave the work at work. This is not the case with my current job and it only gets worse with seniority. The part that kills me is that I am completely apathetic towards the work and yet I bring it home with me every day and night. It's also a highly stressful job where the stress can last for months on end, especially when we have product issues that cause problems for our customers. That's also part of the reason I love to fly as it's an outlet and a chance to unwind.

I am going to keep on working towards my ratings while working at my current job. In the meantime, I'll share your words with my wife so we can make an informed decision. I will let you know how it goes.

Actually, you never leave the work at work. Airline flying is, as you say, rote ritual. But don't forget the time zone changes, long duty days and short overnights.

The result: Chronic fatigue. Crew scheduling's mission is to "make you more productive." Throw in a commute and you may be looking at an average of a day and a half off a week.

You always hear about the Whale drivers who are off 20 days a month and make $300K a year. At this point in your life, given the normal progression, you will NEVER get there.

And in between you'll have to suffer through Regional F/O reserve at poverty level wages, Regional Capt. reserve, Mainline F/O reserve and (hopefully if you manage to keep your medical and pass your annual checkrides) Mainline NARROWBODY Capt. reserve.

On top of that add in the Commercial Terminal rat race. There you get to deal with the TSA, CSAs and F/As who are jealous of the "enormous" salary you make and your airline's managers who are dedicated to reducing your pay and benefits.

1. It appears you need a career change, whether it is over to airline pilot, is yet to be determined

2. Flying as a job is not flying as an "outlet" as you will not be unwinding, you will be working.

3. Where do you live ? If it is LA, then you can commute much easier than if you live in Tulsa, OK. This is dependent on where you airline base is of course. It appears based on your statements, that you plan to not move your family, and moving them is more difficult because you will be relying on the "family network" to take care of them. Which is fine in theory, but when I came into aviation, I was told to be mobile mobile mobile. You can wake up and your company is out of business, you got fired/laid off/etc, you got transferred, company got bought out, etc. Plus commuting is he11.

Good luck but I would choose aviation for fun and change your career path to something else

Yes you will miss birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, etc BUT you will be home on days that are volunteer days at school, run errands in the middle of the week when everyone else is at work. It is all what you do with your time and not on the calendar. Quality of time is more important. There are parents who spend holidays in front of the TV and not really with their spouse or kids. If you and your spouse have an understanding..... Everyone is happy. Love what you do!

Excellent advice by all. Appreciate the insights!

I can't agree more with all these statements, I was fortunate to get on with a regional at a young age and chased the upgrade and although had a blast working for skw my QOL tanked because I was always commuting, but 7 years later it paid off. So if you can get all that stuff out of the way early you can enjoy 35 yrs of a great QOL at a major. This was the first time in 7 yrs I had thanksgiving, xmas, and New Years off all cause I was in training. If your going to do this career, seniority is everything, so don't waste too much time because one number could mean the difference of 18 days off or 11.

It's one thing to say you understand that you will be gone half the month and miss important events but it's another thing to live it month in and month out. Definitely a tough decision.
If I had an opportunity to be home every night and make good money I would leave the cockpit in a heartbeat.

Hello 858.
My husband has been an airline pilot for over 30 years. We are middle-aged parents of a nine year old girl. When I married my husband I had the advantage of already knowing what life would be like from the couple of years we dated. Maybe because we are older and tougher, but we have almost always enjoyed being a pilot family. Yes, some holidays are "different", but still very enjoyable. My husband went from a senior CA to a Jr. FO last year when his airline closed, which changed things a lot for us, but not so much that he thought of getting out of the industry. His extended family, as they did when he was young and starting out, plans Christmas around his schedule. His parents, all his brothers, sister-in-laws, neices & nephews have their family's Christmas with us when my husband is home. The sister-in-laws like the fact that they can have Dec. 25 with their side of the family.
I think that the biggest factor in our happiness is that we are commited to spending real quality time together when we are home. My side of our extended family also lives in the area which has been a huge plus. Our neighborhood has two other pilots woth familys living in it, one male, one female. They are friends of ours and their kids are friends with my daughter, we know we can call on each other if needed. Our daughter feels a huge amount of pride about her father being a pilot, although she would probably also be proud of him in any other career as well, she loves to see him in uniform and is always telling people that her father is a pilot with an especially great amount of pride.
My husband has said many times that one of the best parts of his job is that it has very defined work hours. When he is not at work, he doesn't have to think about it. Also, we both like to travel, and do. We have been to South Africa, East Africa, Costa Rica, Germany, France, Holland, Etc., all with our daughter in tow. We sail, ski, bike, camp, dive (although not in the last couple of years), in places that we otherwise could not. My husband is home at least one day during the week and some weekends. He has been able to spend many days in my daughter's class room and going on her field trips that I could not because of my job. They are very close.
My husband was fortunate enough to start with a new regional carrier last year after his other one shut down. Money is really tight right now, but getting better. He never had to sit on reserve and he upgraded to CA in 10 months. That wouldn't have been the case a few years ago, you will be getting in the industry at a great time and at a good age. Just make sure your family is aware of the good and the bad.
Good Luck!