742Dash

Not just cargo, virtually any career as a pilot is going to involve working holidays, birthdays and anniversaries. Airplanes move 24/7/365. And at the same time your neighbors will talk about how you never work because they saw you mowing your grass last Tuesday at 10 AM.

But a more important subject for a young person considering aviation is the nature of a successful aviation marriage. Your partner needs to be ready and willing to deal with broken cars, sick kids, leaking plumbing, parent/teacher conferences and so on while you are away. And you need to be ready to pick up all those things when you are home. Finances need to be an open book to both parties.

IMO traditional role models and an aviation marriage are not compatible. All of the successful aviation marriages that I know involve strong, independent spouses and pilots who do not try to micromanage the home from another continent.

Not to discourage you; with retirement on my horizon I look back and am grateful that I have been able to pursue this career. But go into it with your eyes wide open.

EDIT: In reading back over this I realize that it has a negative tone. There are upsides to this aviation lifestyle. More than once my wife has explained to people that "When he is home he is home." This is a job you don't drag home -- you are not sitting at the dinner table stewing over some comment your boss made today (and in many aviation jobs you can go for a year or more and not even talk to your boss). And the random blocks of days off can be better than just Sat/Sun off.

bigbrownthrow

Flying for 12 years. Using a different account. Lots of time away from home.
I agree with 742Dash about having a strong, independent partner. I think my marriage has been successful because, in addition to my partner being independent and strong, I have worked really hard to be supportive from afar. We have found what works for us. It's not all about the partner. It's about us pilots too. Rough schedules and time differences don't mean we get a pass on being great partners. So yes, your partner does matter, but so does your attitude. The little things go a long way.

No Land 3

Every successful aviation marriage relies on luck. People's desires and wants change. No two marriages are alike.

742Dash

This is a two way street, you are absolutely right about that. When the kids were young our deal was 36 hours -- then I was single Dad and my wife had some free time (more or less). And as No Land 3 points out, there is always a degree of luck. People change as they age, and hopefully a marriage can change in rough unison.

But in the list of things that the modern pilot training model leaves far too late for "reality realization", I think that this is big one. I have sat there more than once on the ride to a HKG departure listening to the FO ranting on his wife and thinking "S-TFU and tell her that what she did was just fine."

On the other side of the coin my wife pointed out to me a "dear Abby" from last week about a corporate pilot whose new wife wanted him home every night. My wife's view was WTF did she expect?

I am a dinosaur, I get that. But this current pilot training pipeline does not serve young-would-be pilots well.

GoodRide

Hollandaise?

Moosefire

Two years at FedEx. Worked thanksgiving day in year one since then have been able to have every major holiday off

coryk

Two years in at FedEx, haven't worked any major holiday since I started.

Dumb luck? idk.

Globemaster2827

How's Flag Day looking for you?

Moosefire

We’ll see if the tanker shows up

Globemaster2827

Depends on the weather... If it's a beautiful day either they break or we do...