I would think Spanish Harlem or Compton would be cool.:D

I think it's time we create together the:

Airline Pilot Central Delta Wing, Things You Shall Not Mention in a PA

1. "Altimeter setting is..."
2. "Total carrier traps..."
3. "Flew war time missions in peace time"
4. "I am known for taking excellent care of my aircraft, my flight crew and my passengers."
5. "Thunderstorm"
6. "Tornado"
7. In cruise: "Look out your window..."
8. "We have been intercepted" or "we are being intercepted again"
9. "Captain Kangaroo"
10. "****"
11. "*****es get stitches" just write the asap
12. "Runway (##) left" "right" "center"
13. "This is my first officer's first flight..."
14.
15.
16.
17.
18.
19.
20.

Everytime someone says, "Sit back, relax, and enjoy the flight," an angel loses its wings.

I️ really did laugh out loud

I heard a good version of sit back and relax. Captain said “you can either sit back and relax or sit upright and be uncomfortable. We are about to leave either way. Enjoy the flight.”

14. Uhhh,
15. Apologizing for delay when its weather. (Apologize for things we COULD have done better, e.g. Mx, crew shortages)
16. The phrase "welcome aboard" anytime after takeoff, especially at cruise 30 minutes into the flight when seat belt light comes off

And when did “welcome aboard” change to “welcome onboard?” WTF?

It’s like when a reporter calls our company an “airliner.” Or we’re stuck on a “runway” for hours.

Or thinks “aircrafts” is actually a word.

Grinds my gears.

Don't forget to throw in a couple "meows" to see if they are really listening. :D

Not talking would solve all these problems.

21. Fire
22. Lost
23. Genitals
24. Boeing

All words that make passengers nervous. ;)

...and again...

25. "October is breast awareness month."

26. "Passport Plum"

27. "Industry Leading"

I take PA lessons from Monty Python and Co.

https://youtu.be/Hh_shsRfXqk

There’s been several times I wanted to make this PA...

https://youtu.be/A-7-5f3DwmY

I think all of those are valid for the list. :D

Since our company deadheads us on full fare tickets, I fly all the major airlines quite a bit. And I have a lot of say in what airline my ticket are bought on. By far Delta pilots make the most PA announcements of the major airlines, but you do hear them on the others occasionally. And the passengers don't like it. I know this because I look around and most of the people I can see seem irritated to have their movie/game/work interrupted by someone with diarrhea of the mouth and an overinflated sense of self importance. Rolling their eyes, throwing up their hands, openly complaining. And maybe pilots don't realize that the FAs are already on the PA nearly constantly these days spewing info about drink options/overpriced food/credit cards/etc.

So from a passenger standpoint:

* NOBODY cares where you're based. Shut up and fly the plane.
* NOBODY cares how many years you were in the military and which jet you flew. Shut up and fly the plane.
* DO NOT break in every 15 minutes on a transcon to tell us what natural landmark or podunk town you grew up in we're flying over! Shut up and fly the plane.
* NOBODY cares about detailed reports on the weather on landing. We all have smart phones these days. If you can't resist, just say sunny/partly cloudy/cloudy/rain/snow and the temperature. The gate of arrival is nice to hear.
* Stop using jargon! Don't say "broken clouds". The folks have no idea what that means and you sound like an idiot.
* The same applies to maintenance delays. KISS. They aren't mechanics and all they hear is "this plane is junk and we are going to die".
* NOBODY cares what kind of engines your 30 year old 757 has or how much thrust they produce. They just want you to shut up, fly fast, and land early.
* Stop yelling!
* Jesus cries every time someone says "sit back and relax" or other asinine aviation cliches.
* We don't need a detailed announcement and description of the chop every time you turn the seatbelt sign on and off! By the way, the FAs still have to make an announcement about the seat belt sign even if you do, so we get our movie interrupted twice. Just stop.

Bonus points:
* People who ostentatiously overuse the word "do". (Mostly FAs)

Now queue all the delta nerds to attack me like angry fire ants in 3,2,1 because I had the audacity to criticize them again. Well guys, stop being this way and we won't make fun of you constantly. Just shut up and fly the plane.

Awesome, you should write the next FOM revision on PAs.

+1 I site in the back (hopefully changing in the near future) 125K average per year. I never care where the crew is based. I like crews that keep the announcements (both pilots and FA's) to the absolute bare minimum.

28. FA's announcement, 25 minutes from the airport, begins with "Ladies and gentlemen we've been cleared to land...".

If you weren’t so personally biased against Delta, maybe this would carry more weight.

The booth line is the vast majority of our PAs are directed by the FOM. There is very little leeway in what we can say.

He could write a book on what not to say at a Delta interview too. Apparently. Or on a Delta jumpseat, or anywhere.

First of all, TL;DR. Secondly, you ripped off Goggles’s “Something happens when someone says ‘Sit back, relax...’” bit. It was funny when he said it. Only when he said it.

D-


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I asked Captain Geezer: “Why did you give them the altitude and temperature? Nobody cares about that.”

He says: “Why did you give me your opinion? Nobody cares about that either.” :p

Funny. Except i've never applied to your beloved Air Line and jumpseat often without issue. Don't be suck a dik it just fulfills everyone's stereotype of your kind.

A few valid opinions in your first post, but your juvenile rage started shining through with this one

How about you take your own advice.

The perfect anouncement:

“This is your Captain, Captain Smith assisted by First Officer Jones. We will be underway momentarily. The flight is schedule to arrive on time. We will see you after we land. Good Day.”

(Unless the flight is going to be late or there is some other reason.)

Oh look ecam is mad at delta again

Ex-Comair. The bitterness is strong with this one.

Too long.
“This is Captain Smith. Thanks for choosing Delta, Good Day.”

-Passengers barely care who the Captain is, you definitely don't need the FOs name.
-Of course we will be underway momentarily, it's almost departure time. Add this part only by exception if there are delays.
-Same with on time arrival. This part only needs added by exception.
-We may or may not see them after landing depending on connection time. No need to set the expectation for actually having the option to bask in the presence of Captain Smith.
-Any Type A passengers who really care about the details already know more about the departure and arrival times than most of the crew, because they are on the Delta App, Google or Siri.

:D:D

Some of you want us to be anonymous bus drivers. No thanks. I still think there’s some romance left in this profession — and the FOM backs me up.

We get romanced per the FOM?!?!







Wait. By who?

He always manages to show up here, like he still cares or something...

I didn’t get that until my kids had me watch super troopers. Absolutely hilarious.

Guess that's one way to get the senior int'l mamas to listen. 😄

Anonymous bus drivers is exactly what people want. Especially our high value customers. Nobody cares about what branch of the military you served in. They have to listen to an announcement on how to put a seatbelt on, and then they are offered a once in a lifetime credit card opportunity once they chow down on their everything covered in cheddar cheese powder snack mix and 5 ounces of coke.

The Bible also says:

Ephesians 5:22-24 New International Version (NIV)

“22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”

That doesn’t mean that we automatically go to Red Lobster because that’s what I want when she wants Olive Garden. I’ve tried using this passage on my holy roller wife before as my trump card. It doesn’t work.

Use of discretion and common sense would be prudent in dealing with a set of words that “backs you up.”

Morale of the story, people wanna know why you’re late if you’re going to be late. Or anything unusual. Other than that tell them how long and say thanks. The romance is dead. If you’re a FOM guy you also don’t start the APU until D-13ish. So the guy in row 20 that you’re romancing on your 97 degree hot, humid 717 wants to punch you in the face while he listens to your voice.

The gospel according to passportplump.

I tell 'em I'm ATL based for 2 reasons.

1) So they know I'm not a DTW/MSP based a-hole!:eek:

2) So the f/a's know I'm not an ATL a-hole!:D

35. We are also out of coffee.

36. BRACE BRACE BRACE YOURSELF... for another on time arrival.

Strongly disagree that anonymous bus drivers are what the passengers want. Net Promoter scores continue to prove passengers are impressed by Pilots that stand at the door after the flight. Furthermore, the score goes even higher when they come out of the cockpit before flight and greet the passengers.