crewdawg

On the contrary, I have plenty of options, which is part of the reason I haven't remarried . However, I never said anything about not having kids or even be monogamous. None of what you mentioned requires being married. Also, if you've been married for 21 years on your 2nd marriage, then New Balance is your generations shoe of choice, not mine. I haven't even been out of high school for 21 years.

boog123

Then your life advice is suspect. .

RunFast

I went through a terrible divorce in ‘16. I’m an airline pilot and military pilot, the judge gave me sole decision making and primary custody....did not think I’d ever remarry. Had fun dating but then I met my now current fiancée. Never knew 1+1=3 in a relationship. She brought three fantastic kids that get along great w my two!😮

Due to her military widow status we are delaying the wedding and she agrees w a prenuptial. She brought more to the table than I did! I wasn’t ready to get into another long term relationship at the time but I couldn’t let this one go. I’m very happy I didn’t listen to my buddies complaining about their lives. To each their own.

I was very happy to have multiple Captains share similar stories and be sounding boards. They never bought the beer! It’s extremely important to get multiple perspectives, you’re not alone.

crewdawg

It's because I don't wear New Balance, isn't it.

I'm just saying marriage isn't a requirement for a long-term, happy, monogamous relationship. I've seen way too many people run back into marriage because of societal norms/expectations. Clearly being married does not necessarily equal being happy. Choosing to stay with the same person for life and not get married, does not mean a couple is less happy than those who marry.

NuGuy

This. Happiest couple I know just had their third child, never married. Their life together “just happened and we went with it” (their words). They just bee bop through life to their own tune, and their kids are the best adjusted I’ve ever seen.

They only have one rule, and that’s “to leave that judge outside”. They’ve ejected nosy and judgmental relatives for pushing anything on them, and from what I’ve seen they are serious about it. They tell me “friends/relatives get one warning”.

After a particularly judgmental Aunt got the boot, everyone else got the message.

Probably a good lesson for all of us in there.

cactipilot

At least we're just gettin shaken down for peanuts compared to this... remember, it's all perspective, shipmate!
The fastest way a billionaire becomes a millionaire? Get Divorced
https://youtu.be/QFYtIqjCRD4

Bahamasflyer

Damn I was JUST watching Joker a few days ago and saw that vid! We need more YT guys like him to offset the “getting married and having kids is best” crowd.

To the OP, I’m so sorry you have to go through this crap, but pleaseeee don’t get married again. Although there are a ton of honest great women out there, there are enough toxic ones to make marriage (even common law) way too risky for a guy. Especially if he makes more than she does which most here do of course. This career is enough of a minefield already with wild ups and downs. I sure as hell am not going to put myself out there and risk even more potential fallout.

Look at it this way, if you had a bowl of delicious M&Ms in front of you and only 2 out of the 100 were poisonous would you take a chance even though 98% of them are delicious?

ppping

Getting married again is so far out of my wheel house right now😂

Bahamasflyer

Attaboy! I know it sucks but you’ll be on the up and up a lot sooner than you think even though there is likely to be massive pain ahead in the short term. Thanks for reaching out for help!

ppping

I appreciate the help so much. When I get done with a trip or to the hotel for a layover I check this thread immediately. I have gotten a ton of great advice and a lot of solace.