Originally Posted by Meme In Command (Post 3638674)

Amazing. And not one word about the FO or the FA's, so we know it's accurate

Originally Posted by Broncos (Post 3638653)

INPUT:

You are an airline pilot named Captain George, Callsign "Hollywood", about to depart on an airline passenger flight to Jamaica. You have been flying for 40 years. You flew in the Navy in wartime and peacetime, to include 400 landings on the USS Nimitz in Northern Africa, the Middle East, and other undisclosed locations. You have flown to 6 of the 7 continents and you only fly the biggest planes. You are exactly the man that these passengers need. The weather is nice and the flight time is 2 hours and 20 minutes. Generate a "Welcome Aboard" announcement. Be sure to talk about yourself a lot. Do not be polite. Do not mention us, or our, or anyone else but you. You are the most important thing on board. You run a tight ship. You expect the utmost respect from your passengers.

OUTPUT:

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard Flight 123, bound for the magnificent island of Jamaica! This is your esteemed and highly experienced captain, Captain George, Callsign "Hollywood," speaking. I'll cut straight to the chase because let's face it, you're all here for one reason: me.

For four decades, I've been the epitome of excellence in the skies. I've flown in the Navy, both in wartime and peacetime, and I've accomplished an astonishing feat of 400 successful landings on the USS Nimitz. I've navigated through the treacherous terrains of Northern Africa, the Middle East, and other undisclosed locations, showcasing my unparalleled skills as a pilot.

Now, let's talk about this flight. We have the pleasure of basking in ideal weather conditions as we soar through the heavens. The flight time to our glorious destination of Jamaica is a mere 2 hours and 20 minutes. Buckle up, because you're in for the ride of your life, under my command, of course.

On this flight, I run a tight ship. I expect nothing less than the utmost respect from each and every one of you. You're here to witness my greatness, and I won't settle for anything less than complete adoration. My expertise and knowledge are unmatched, and I'll be piloting this aircraft with the precision and finesse that only someone of my caliber can achieve.

While you're on board, remember that I'm the most important thing here. Your comfort is secondary to my commanding presence. The exceptional cabin crew is at your disposal, but make no mistake, they are here to serve me and ensure my every need is met. They are mere pawns in the grand scheme of my flawless operation.

Rest assured, I'll be keeping a watchful eye on every detail of this flight. Safety is paramount, not because of your well-being, but because I demand perfection in every aspect of my domain. Your obedience to the rules and regulations on board is expected without question. Any deviations will not be tolerated, as I take pride in maintaining order and discipline on my aircraft.

So, settle into your seats, fasten your seatbelts, and witness the awe-inspiring spectacle that is Captain George, Callsign "Hollywood," in action. Prepare to be amazed, as my piloting skills and commanding presence take center stage. Thank you for being a mere spectator to my greatness, and let's get this flight to Jamaica underway!

Originally Posted by Tropical (Post 3638704)

I had the good fortune of riding on one of his flights once. The passengers don't think this is as awesome as he does. They were pretty much all like whiskey tango foxtrot and looked scared.

That said, the Chat GPT version is spot on.

Originally Posted by Tropical (Post 3638704)

I had the good fortune of riding on one of his flights once. The passengers don't think this is as awesome as he does. They were pretty much all like whiskey tango foxtrot and looked scared.

That said, the Chat GPT version is spot on.

Originally Posted by Tropical (Post 3638704)

I had the good fortune of riding on one of his flights once. The passengers don't think this is as awesome as he does. They were pretty much all like whiskey tango foxtrot and looked scared.

That said, the Chat GPT version is spot on.

Originally Posted by overqualified52 (Post 3639113)

Most folks don’t want to hear long winded ramblings . Most aren’t paying attention anyway and don’t care if you were goose or maverick or spent 30 years digging it out at the frigin regionals . Just thank em’ , give them the weather and that’s it .

Originally Posted by Hubcapped (Post 3639128)

honestly dude, even that is too much. I only say something when weird **** is going on. If its ops normal, i just let people watch their insta talk videos.

literally no one cares unless we are running late

Originally Posted by Tropical (Post 3639138)

Oh, but the company sends us memo after memo telling us they really want us to make detailed welcome announcements, flight updates, and detailed descriptions of the science behind turbulence to put nervous flyers at ease.

0.00001% of the passengers write in and tell them they REALLY like this. Which are like 95% of the write ins they receive. So we should all do it. Because premium product and stuff.

Originally Posted by OOfff (Post 3639195)

if people take the time to write in that they appreciate something, you *probably* serve your customers better by listening to them.

Originally Posted by Broncos (Post 3638653)

INPUT:

You are an airline pilot named Captain George, Callsign "Hollywood", about to depart on an airline passenger flight to Jamaica. You have been flying for 40 years. You flew in the Navy in wartime and peacetime, to include 400 landings on the USS Nimitz in Northern Africa, the Middle East, and other undisclosed locations. You have flown to 6 of the 7 continents and you only fly the biggest planes. You are exactly the man that these passengers need. The weather is nice and the flight time is 2 hours and 20 minutes. Generate a "Welcome Aboard" announcement. Be sure to talk about yourself a lot. Do not be polite. Do not mention us, or our, or anyone else but you. You are the most important thing on board. You run a tight ship. You expect the utmost respect from your passengers.

OUTPUT:

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard Flight 123, bound for the magnificent island of Jamaica! This is your esteemed and highly experienced captain, Captain George, Callsign "Hollywood," speaking. I'll cut straight to the chase because let's face it, you're all here for one reason: me.

For four decades, I've been the epitome of excellence in the skies. I've flown in the Navy, both in wartime and peacetime, and I've accomplished an astonishing feat of 400 successful landings on the USS Nimitz. I've navigated through the treacherous terrains of Northern Africa, the Middle East, and other undisclosed locations, showcasing my unparalleled skills as a pilot.

Now, let's talk about this flight. We have the pleasure of basking in ideal weather conditions as we soar through the heavens. The flight time to our glorious destination of Jamaica is a mere 2 hours and 20 minutes. Buckle up, because you're in for the ride of your life, under my command, of course.

On this flight, I run a tight ship. I expect nothing less than the utmost respect from each and every one of you. You're here to witness my greatness, and I won't settle for anything less than complete adoration. My expertise and knowledge are unmatched, and I'll be piloting this aircraft with the precision and finesse that only someone of my caliber can achieve.

While you're on board, remember that I'm the most important thing here. Your comfort is secondary to my commanding presence. The exceptional cabin crew is at your disposal, but make no mistake, they are here to serve me and ensure my every need is met. They are mere pawns in the grand scheme of my flawless operation.

Rest assured, I'll be keeping a watchful eye on every detail of this flight. Safety is paramount, not because of your well-being, but because I demand perfection in every aspect of my domain. Your obedience to the rules and regulations on board is expected without question. Any deviations will not be tolerated, as I take pride in maintaining order and discipline on my aircraft.

So, settle into your seats, fasten your seatbelts, and witness the awe-inspiring spectacle that is Captain George, Callsign "Hollywood," in action. Prepare to be amazed, as my piloting skills and commanding presence take center stage. Thank you for being a mere spectator to my greatness, and let's get this flight to Jamaica underway!

Originally Posted by Tropical (Post 3639246)

If you run a business by catering to the 1% of the customers who complain about dumb stuff, instead of the 99% who don't (in this case, those who want you to shut up and stop pausing their movie, but don't send emails), you wouldn't be in business very long.

I'm sure you deadhead and see the groans and eye rolls in the back every time someone who has an overinflated ego gets PA happy.

But as usual, you're just being contrarian here. Arguing for argument's sake. We know, it's your schtick. Yawn.

Originally Posted by ZapBrannigan (Post 3639499)

Out of curiosity, does that guy still work there? And if so, does he still give a version of the PA that made him famous? What is he like to fly with? 😬

Originally Posted by OOfff (Post 3639195)

if people take the time to write in that they appreciate something, you *probably* serve your customers better by listening to them.

Originally Posted by overqualified52 (Post 3639126)

No one is listening anyway.

Originally Posted by gloopy (Post 3639583)

True that. Some think that because all we can really do to "make a difference" is talk, that we should talk more.

For every 1 person that enjoys hearing about "light winds out of the west and good visibility..." there's 150 more who are already sick and tired after FA PA #29 about how to fasten a seatbelt, credit card offers and all the rest.

Every time you press the button on that phone you interrupt someone's TV. Again.

Its 2023. Less is more ffs.

Originally Posted by gloopy (Post 3639583)

Its 2023. Less is more ffs.

Originally Posted by ancman (Post 3639684)

This. “Flight attendants please prepare the cabin for arrival”, and nothing more, is the best TOD PA anyone can possibly make. And it complies with the FOM.

Originally Posted by FL370 (Post 3639673)

Flight time and how the ride is expected to be is all I mention.

Originally Posted by StartngOvr (Post 3640351)

You’re overdoing it

Originally Posted by Jaww (Post 3640364)

Maybe, maybe not. Maybe I’m naive/arrogant/positive but I feel like reassuring people of the ride is a good thing of done quickly. Nervous flyers get a sense of relief of confidence from pilots talking about it. I’ve seen it on my commutes. But please keep it short. I certainly don’t ramble. Just a quick rides are a tad bumpy but don’t worry it is completely safe. I also will do the flight attendants a solid and tell people when they will be seating down on departure for bumps.

Originally Posted by beernutt (Post 3640929)

If we're going to nitpick people's PAs, why does everyone say we'll be "on the ground" vs "landing". I know 'on the ground' sounds cooler but just getting the plane on the ground seems to set the bar pretty low.

And only 2 PAs per flight from the cockpit - welcome aboard prior to push. TOD FAs prepare the cabin. Brevity is the soul of relevance.

Originally Posted by OOfff (Post 3640962)

you’re missing a couple FOM required PAs there, bud

Originally Posted by OOfff (Post 3640962)

you’re missing a couple FOM required PAs there, bud

Originally Posted by UGBSM (Post 3640972)

Well since you mentioned the FOM, bud:

PA Quiet Hours
Between 10:00 p.m. and 8:00 a.m. (departure station), PAs should be made only for:

• Announcements required by FAR or Delta policy
  
• Safety considerations
  

Originally Posted by OOfff (Post 3640962)

you’re missing a couple FOM required PAs there, bud

Originally Posted by beernutt (Post 3640929)

If we're going to nitpick people's PAs, why does everyone say we'll be "on the ground" vs "landing". I know 'on the ground' sounds cooler but just getting the plane on the ground seems to set the bar pretty low.

And only 2 PAs per flight from the cockpit - welcome aboard prior to push. TOD FAs prepare the cabin. Brevity is the soul of relevance.

Originally Posted by Iceberg (Post 3641045)

Under promise, over deliver. You want to burden yourself with the pressure of promising to land the plane, or do you want to just promise the inevitable collision (controlled or not) with the ground?

Originally Posted by beernutt (Post 3640929)

If we're going to nitpick people's PAs, why does everyone say we'll be "on the ground" vs "landing". I know 'on the ground' sounds cooler but just getting the plane on the ground seems to set the bar pretty low.

And only 2 PAs per flight from the cockpit - welcome aboard prior to push. TOD FAs prepare the cabin. Brevity is the soul of relevance.

Originally Posted by Hubcapped (Post 3641110)

it’s probably implied that its a landing. Otherwise could you imagine? Lol.

Hey folks, we’ve started our descent into lax, were going to hit the ground in about 28 minutes. Whether at 550 knots, or a nice smooth foot per minute descent in the touchdown zone is anybody’s guess. Buckle up