the fact that it’s considered a “law” speaks to the human condition

Lol, add Godwin's law to that list.

Any idea when ALPA is going to update the pay scales on the dashboard?

They’re updated on the app.
My Pilot Group > MEC documents > Contract > Delta_pay_tables_09292023

Doesn’t seem updated in the PWA on the company or ALPA websites.

Oh my! It passed over 14 days ago! Whatever did we do in the age of printed contracts? Let me get the dial up going to AOL and use Netscape to download the chart off the MEC world wide web page.

In all fun, you are like the 3rd person I've run across today losing their mind over this.

Can't speak for Viper, but Im not losing sanity or sleep over it lol. Was just curious. I figured they would be quick to reflect the new, higher pay scales specifically on the pilot dashboard that shows what bases and aircraft you can hold along with your pay; to include monthly and annual pay. I guess they'll get to it soon enough. Its not like they're busy fighting with the company over language in a brand new contract. ;)

Did I sound like I was “losing my mind?”

Enough to dial up the internet, click your bookmark over to APC, log in, and compose a posting on the topic and ask. Especially about a table you got a link to in your electronic mail.