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UnprotectdPilot 05-20-2019 04:06 PM

Top 5 Things I Love About Envoy
 
5. The Name Itself
Did you know the term 'Envoy' is a reincarnation of the now deprecated Envoy Class of seating on US Airways aircraft? That’s pretty neat. When I go to the bar and tell everyone I’m an Envoy Air pilot, they always look at me confused. To alleviate all confusion, I explain to them it’s an American Airline wholly-owned subsidiary that used to be called American Eagle Airlines, but rebranded post-bankruptcy on January 14, 2014, to alleviate confusion with other carriers flying on behalf of Eagle. They look at me like I have a pitot tube growing out of my forehead, so since most everyone remembers US Airways seating classifications, I just stick with telling them it’s an airline named after a seat class.

4. Basically Mainline™
We’re definitely getting stapled to the bottom of AA’s seniority list. Okay, I’m speculating, but it makes sense. For starters, I’m wearing a near-identical uniform to mainline. My paycheck comes from AA, we wear “American Airlines” lanyards, they gave me an AA polo when I showed up to class, we get mainline travel benefits, and those of us that got typed in the E170 also got an E190 rating … and you know who else has E190s? I just have so much pride going to work knowing that I’m already an AA employee.

3. ALPA Dues Go Very Far
I am very pleased with the ALPA Envoy MEC. They’re not afraid to rock the boat and would even jeopardize their prized slot at AA. I heard they even helped reinstate two ORD-based pilots who got fired for a mistake that resulted in a non-event due to TCAS compliance. It’s weird though, SkyWest doesn’t even have a union and they negotiated better pay and have better work rules. Whatever, they don’t have flow.

2. Freaky Fast Flow
It’s incredible: “5.5 years to flow to American” for new hires. While I can’t prove that it’s true, I also can’t prove that it isn’t. It makes me feel good inside to believe that I just have to be a good boi that always tries his hardest and I’ll move up to AAG in half a decade. I’m not the best at math, but even though I calculated that flow will slow down significantly after the so-called “Protected Pilots” leave and there isn’t any contractual guarantee anyone will flow to AA afterwards, the timeline still checks out for everyone. Also, because I have a tenuous understanding of the flow agreement, I’m willing to accept lower wages because reasons. If Envoy Flow-Thru was a consumer product or service, it would definitely be Truth in Advertising compliant. Anyway. I, for one, prefer an unprotected status. Added fear, uncertainty, and doubt in an already volatile industry makes the work environment more exciting … kinda like a real life Game of Thrones episode.

1. Industry Leading Pay
This isn't beer math or theoretical science, this is bona fide advertising. If you think I'm being facetious, look at any of Envoy's recruiting material or company advertisements. Hell, even APC's Envoy profile page states it, so you know it's true: "Envoy Air (formerly American Eagle Airlines) now offers industry leading pay." However, there are critics among you that will say things like "PSA has better pay rates and work rules than us." While true, PSA is an exception and outlier... along with the other 4/5ths of regional carriers out there. As Basically Mainline™(i.e. Envoy / O.G. Eagle) pilots, fly with a smile on your face knowing that you and Piedmont pilots are simultaneously getting paid less for the same work, paying your dues (an important rite of passage I might add), and also saving AAG precious shekels in this non-pilot's market in the tumultuous, faltering Trump economy. Don't fret though - you'll all be at mainline in a few years and making like $750K/year or whatever - it'll more than make up for these leaner years. Remember, there's an ongoing supermassive pilot shortage that's definitely going to be affecting all the legacy carriers. I heard from a buddy at SkyWest that a check airman he flew with overheard from a pilot on IOE that CEO Chip Childs told a new hire flight attendant class last week that mainline is going to be hiring people with PPLs, like in the 1960s, where they get a class date as soon as they get their ATP. I gave up on my college degree because…what’s the point? Even Pinkslip Pete with his triple recurrent failures will be a widebody captain before you know.

p.s. I know we gave up on Endeavor rates, but that's fine because they don't have flow and they're owned by Delta Air Lines. I think we've already conceded that DAL > AAL in management, customer satisfaction, performance, and fiscally, so let’s not raise the bar too high.

mketch11 05-20-2019 04:17 PM

Good stuff.

highfarfast 05-20-2019 04:35 PM

I’m not sure the few potential new hires that read this are smart enough to catch the sarcasm. They see 175 and Flow and everything else they hear sounds the adults in a Peanuts cartoon.

UnprotectdPilot 05-20-2019 04:46 PM


Originally Posted by highfarfast (Post 2823599)
I’m not sure the few potential new hires that read this are smart enough to catch the sarcasm. They see 175 and Flow and everything else they hear sounds the adults in a Peanuts cartoon.

In that case, full disclosure -- the union is estimating new hires to be flowing in just over 9 years.

NINE YEARS TO FLOW.


Listen up, cadets/RTP bubbas/rando normies off-the street: if you were to stick around to flow after 9 years, at best, you've already missed the retirement wave at AA. You'll be stuck at the very bottom of a mostly stagnant seniority list. If you don't know why that's scary, you haven't done enough research on the airline industry.

But hey. Keep smoking your hope-ium.

Jungle Jim 05-20-2019 05:13 PM


Originally Posted by UnprotectdPilot (Post 2823606)
In that case, full disclosure -- the union is estimating new hires to be flowing in just over 9 years.

NINE YEARS TO FLOW.


Listen up, cadets/RTP bubbas/rando normies off-the street: if you were to stick around to flow after 9 years, at best, you've already missed the retirement wave at AA. You'll be stuck at the very bottom of a mostly stagnant seniority list. If you don't know why that's scary, you haven't done enough research on the airline industry.

But hey. Keep smoking your hope-ium.

https://i.imgur.com/i9ZPFzf.gif

Fallout15 05-20-2019 05:53 PM

10/10 you win APC today

Houpilot2001 05-20-2019 05:57 PM

Outstanding.

FUPM

BIueSideUp 05-20-2019 07:27 PM

This person is my new snarky spirit animal.

#FUPM

ninerdriver 05-20-2019 08:57 PM

I almost yelled at you after getting halfway through #5. Then I didn't, and we're all better people for it. Nice work.

highfarfast 05-20-2019 10:54 PM


Originally Posted by UnprotectdPilot (Post 2823606)
In that case, full disclosure -- the union is estimating new hires to be flowing in just over 9 years.

NINE YEARS TO FLOW.


Listen up, cadets/RTP bubbas/rando normies off-the street: if you were to stick around to flow after 9 years, at best, you've already missed the retirement wave at AA. You'll be stuck at the very bottom of a mostly stagnant seniority list. If you don't know why that's scary, you haven't done enough research on the airline industry.

But hey. Keep smoking your hope-ium.

Potential new hires just heard:

“Wah wah wah... wah wah wah... wah wah wah wah...”


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