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-   -   Tool of the day (https://www.airlinepilotforums.com/hangar-talk/66729-tool-day.html)

NERD 04-16-2012 01:25 PM

Tool of the day
 
I will nominate myself as the first for starting this. A very close 2nd goes to the compass capt. (we will call him Bob) who gave his cheesy welcome aboard PA from the cabin(I know they want them to do that, but most don't) Besides mentioning the current weather in Msp, he let everyone know what the temps were 3 days ago. It gets better though. He mentioned that he was going to "allow" FO Joe to fly this leg and what an outstanding co-pilot he is and how someday when he earns enough time, he to will be a compass capt. So, to you Bob I award you the tool of the day award. Who's next?

hoserpilot 04-16-2012 01:42 PM

My landing today was so bad the pax asked if the wheels were square. I'm a tool too.:):)

Lab Rat 04-16-2012 01:56 PM

Personally, I enjoy the captain informing all of us which STAR we are filed for.

[please note the sarcasm] :D

Orbit 04-16-2012 02:24 PM

The TSA agent in LGA who insists on looking at my ID for the tenth time. She just doesn't trust the last nine government agents that looked at it. Tool of the day.

N9373M 04-16-2012 02:33 PM

GA Tool
 
Guy in my SIDA access class wearing leather jacket, epaulets, and "Capt. Joe Shmo, DDS" embroidered on the breast - other side was a pair of wings. "N" number and "C-172" were also stitched. Wearing mirrored sunglasses as well.

mike734 04-16-2012 02:46 PM

The captain who blows one of those train whistles and says, "All aboard!" at the end of his pax brief. Yes. I've heard it.

Flyby1206 04-16-2012 02:51 PM


Originally Posted by Orbit (Post 1170250)
The TSA agent in LGA who insists on looking at my ID for the tenth time. She just doesn't trust the last nine government agents that looked at it. Tool of the day.

I like when they shine the black light on the ID. I asked one what she was looking for when they do that. The response, "I really dont know, we just do it to look official."

tom14cat14 04-16-2012 02:53 PM

The TSA agent in MSN that asked to see a 2nd form of government issued ID going through security because my crew badge was not good enough.

Lab Rat 04-16-2012 02:57 PM

Anyone who wears their uniform in public. (unless they are working)

Phuz 04-16-2012 03:18 PM


Originally Posted by NERD (Post 1170217)
I will nominate myself as the first for starting this. A very close 2nd goes to the compass capt. (we will call him Bob) who gave his cheesy welcome aboard PA from the cabin(I know they want them to do that, but most don't) Besides mentioning the current weather in Msp, he let everyone know what the temps were 3 days ago. It gets better though. He mentioned that he was going to "allow" FO Joe to fly this leg and what an outstanding co-pilot he is and how someday when he earns enough time, he to will be a compass capt. So, to you Bob I award you the tool of the day award. Who's next?

It is actually *required per the cpz manual. Anyway it isn't as common as it used to be before the sale to TSH. Every airline has tools, mainline brands included. I'm sure you had the balls to tell him that you thought his PA was cheesy.

PDTPILOT 04-16-2012 03:20 PM

The captain calling "positive rate" just as the nose is coming off the ground. The WHOLE aircraft needs to be in a positive rate to call gear up, otherwise it's a lot of unnecessary paperwork.

PermaFo 04-16-2012 03:57 PM

Subscribing to my new favorite thread! Keep it going!

Bucking Bar 04-16-2012 04:13 PM

My "tool of the day" moment ... not noticing the generator hadn't picked up until after the switch was flipped on the APU. :o

Lab Rat 04-16-2012 04:13 PM

Anyone who attempts to begin a serious conversation with the use of the phrase "I read this on flightinfo...."

BlueMoon 04-16-2012 04:48 PM


Originally Posted by Phuz (Post 1170275)
It is actually *required per the cpz manual. Anyway it isn't as common as it used to be before the sale to TSH. Every airline has tools, mainline brands included. I'm sure you had the balls to tell him that you thought his PA was cheesy.

I don't think the PA from the galley is the issue.

The whole "allowing the FO to fly and having a enough time he can be captain blah, blah, blah..." is what I think he takes issue with. The whole "enough time" thing, if it actually happened (which I doubt), is stupid as everyone here is PIC typed and likely has more than enough experience to be captain.

I'll make the PA wherever the company pays me to make the PA from (luckily one of the perks as an FO is not having to do PA's unless told to by the CA).

forgot to bid 04-16-2012 04:48 PM


Originally Posted by Lab Rat (Post 1170238)
Personally, I enjoy the captain informing all of us which STAR we are filed for.

[please note the sarcasm] :D

STAR's, runway numbers, speed in knots, saying acronyms like MEL or EDCT without explaining what it means... I'm trying to think of all of the ones I've heard...

Elliot 04-16-2012 05:01 PM

Flew with a Captain at my prior Regional airline, whom married a flight attendant, and wore his Captain uniform to the wedding. (Similar to someone wearing their "Military Dress uniform" instead of a tux.)

En route he used to brag about being able to teach someone Morse code in less than 20 minutes, and giving the reason why spiders' legs curled their bodies when they died. (Answer - Spider has an eight ventricle heart, one for each leg, and when they died, their legs each curled around its body.) :eek::rolleyes::cool:

GJ

LNL76 04-16-2012 05:27 PM

The TSA clowns at JFK who eyeball your ID a few times, look at your face a few times, then ask your name.

8 Cherry Garcia 04-16-2012 05:29 PM

Completely oversold day out of MIA...literally scores of bumped pax, and one loud LGA pax yells at the gate agent.."I deserve to get a first class upgrade for having to wade through all these people!!"

You sir, have my vote for special tool of the day.

LNL76 04-16-2012 05:32 PM


Originally Posted by 8 Cherry Garcia (Post 1170355)
Completely oversold day out of MIA...literally scores of bumped pax, and one loud LGA pax yells at the gate agent.."I deserve to get a first class upgrade for having to wade through all these people!!"

You sir, have my vote for special tool of the day.

Yup, gotta love the entitlement mentality many passengers display on a regular basis. :rolleyes:

gloopy 04-16-2012 05:34 PM

Anyone who goes to the airport in flip flops or crocs. Tool of the day.

Jughead 04-16-2012 05:36 PM


Originally Posted by Gearjerk (Post 1170332)
... the reason why spiders' legs curled their bodies when they died. (Answer - Spider has an eight ventricle heart, one for each leg, and when they died, their legs each curled around its body.) :eek::rolleyes:
GJ

That's a great fun-fact. I'll incorporate that into my next PA.

http://www.gifflix.com/files/7b79337ab92f.gif

LNL76 04-16-2012 05:37 PM


Originally Posted by gloopy (Post 1170361)
Anyone who goes to the airport in flip flops or crocs. Tool of the day.


Orrrr, dressed in a tanktop and shorts then getting all ****y when there are no blankets on the plane since they are cold.

Ferd149 04-16-2012 05:57 PM


Originally Posted by Gearjerk (Post 1170332)
En route he used to brag about being able to teach someone Morse code in less than 20 minutes, and giving the reason why spiders' legs curled their bodies when they died. (Answer - Spider has an eight ventricle heart, one for each leg, and when they died, their legs each curled around its body.) :eek:

GJ

Now THIS is why I come to APC, knowledge!! Post of the day;)

iaflyer 04-16-2012 06:07 PM

Tool of the day: me.

Finding out that the female FAA "cabin inspector" was in fact, a maintenance inspector who would be not only in the jumpseat for the flight, but walking around with me on the preflight.

Oops.

WingLeveler 04-16-2012 06:24 PM


Originally Posted by Gearjerk (Post 1170332)
Flew with a Captain at my prior Regional airline, whom married a flight attendant, and wore his Captain uniform to the wedding. (Similar to someone wearing their "Military Dress uniform" instead of a tux.)

En route he used to brag about being able to teach someone Morse code in less than 20 minutes, and giving the reason why spiders' legs curled their bodies when they died. (Answer - Spider has an eight ventricle heart, one for each leg, and when they died, their legs each curled around its body.) :eek::rolleyes::cool:

GJ

Ahhh, good old DB at ZW. The epitome of the term "douche bag", no doubt. Insipid is how I described him after a lunch during recurrent ground school.
WL

Noseeums 04-16-2012 06:48 PM

Having what appears to be a violent seizure on the flight controls on every landing then calling the herky jerky disaster your "technique". Strangely, I only see PFTers doing it. Huh!

DYNASTY HVY 04-16-2012 06:53 PM

The toll booth operator who closed off the lane I was in just as I was getting my change out .:mad:



Ally

FIIGMO 04-16-2012 06:59 PM


Originally Posted by 8 Cherry Garcia (Post 1170355)
Completely oversold day out of MIA...literally scores of bumped pax, and one loud LGA pax yells at the gate agent.."I deserve to get a first class upgrade for having to wade through all these people!!"

You sir, have my vote for special tool of the day.

This Pax needs to be reminded that "First Class is a state of mind, Not a Seat Sir!!!":D

Elliot 04-16-2012 07:05 PM


Originally Posted by WingLeveler (Post 1170398)
Ahhh, good old DB at ZW. The epitome of the term "douche bag", no doubt. Insipid is how I described him after a lunch during recurrent ground school.
WL

HAHA, he told you the spider story too!!:D That guy wins the "tool bag of the year" award for PA's also.

GJ

Sink r8 04-16-2012 07:35 PM

Used to have ramper that would "lip-marshall" the aircraft in. As you got close enough, if you watched close enough, you could see him mouthing "that's good, that's good", and you knew to stop. Arms kept moving the entire time.

He doesn't qualify, though, because he didn't know better.

So I'd like to nominate a certain newhire on the ER that felt (in 2007) that a black sweater with F/O epaulets outside really enhances the uniform.

Sink r8 04-16-2012 07:39 PM

The guy that says teneightsixfourtwozerookcomingonwithyou.

CaptainCarl 04-16-2012 07:49 PM

Tool of the day: Torque wrench.

I love it when my nuts are torqued just right :cool:

jungleguppy 04-16-2012 07:51 PM

The TSA "Officer" who scolded me this morning in FLL for putting the bowl after my crew luggage, upside down. "Not a big deal, but just so you know, it's rubber to rubber. The rubber side goes down on the belt, but next time..." Can't make this stuff up.

Eck4Life 04-16-2012 07:52 PM

The guy up front that includes in his destination PA the barometric pressure and ceiling heights.

Eck4Life 04-16-2012 07:56 PM

Also, the tool that expounds on the XX amount of hours he had in a previous life flying XX type of aircraft. Congrats bro!

FlyJSH 04-16-2012 08:47 PM


Originally Posted by Noseeums (Post 1170410)
Having what appears to be a violent seizure on the flight controls on every landing then calling the herky jerky disaster your "technique". Strangely, I only see PFTers doing it. Huh!

Yep, seen a bunch of those. They are actually practicing for the lumberjack olympics.

cornbeef007 04-16-2012 09:08 PM

The guy that gives one or more "status" updates 30 minutes into cruise, on an early morning flight or red eye. Most of the time they repeat the exact same info as the pre-departure PA. If people can't figure out the remaining flight time or if the arrival is on time, let the ranchers deal with it. But doing anything other then a descent PA during sleepy time is redonculas. Only a TOOL overlooks that concept.

Aviatormar 04-16-2012 10:54 PM


Originally Posted by WingLeveler (Post 1170398)
Ahhh, good old DB at ZW. The epitome of the term "douche bag", no doubt. Insipid is how I described him after a lunch during recurrent ground school.
WL

Ahhh good ol' DB, what a great guy! Love going over PTW flashing lights so his "henhouse could see the chicken" (no, I'm not making that up) so much fun on day 4 knowing you can't make it home!

Aviatormar 04-16-2012 10:57 PM

Or how about at BC at ZW, writing up 50 of 50 seats on a CRJ200 at a outstation, because he can't make it home so he can save himself a night at a crappy $40 hotel to make it home, so why not ground the airplane out an outstation and make the company pay for it? Make sense right? Mi$n day anyone?


YAAAAAAAAA BUDDDYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!


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