Airline Pilot Central Forums

There has been some mighty intense debates (arguing) going on in some of the forums lately. Thought I would post this to take things in a totally different direction for a moment.
I listed a few one liners I remember hearing in person and from movies (paraphrased) that still make me chuckle out loud once in awhile. I am sure all of you can add a lot more and even funnier ones to enhance the list. :D
I married your mother for children. Think of the disappointment when you came along.
That does it! What would you take to stand at the wrong end of a shooting gallery?
My mother-n-law is so fat; she was born on June 8th, 9th, and 10th.
My mother-n-law is so fat; she sat on our cat and turned it into a Persian throw rug.
Why don’t you get up off that paper and give the flies a chance.

(ok, a three liner)
I don’t remember. When I woke up in the hospital, there was the nurse taking care of me.
What’s the matter? Couldn’t the nurse take care of herself?
You bet she could! But I found that out to late.