AuPair for pilot family
 

Starting my new job at AA soon, I anticipate that I will be gone often- so to help the wife we are considering getting an au pair. Does anybody have any experiences with one- recommend? Good/bad? thanks, I would appreciate anybody's experiences!

We hired a nanny. My wife did all of the legwork in getting applicants. She used care.com. We use the nanny 6 hours a day 3-5 days a week depending on my schedule. We got a 19yo that was going to junior college part time. She has worked well but has a hard time getting here on time. My recommendation is if you need her there at 700am hold the interview at 700am. The "nanny tax" is a pain to get set up. You have to file forms through the IRS, get an Employer Identification Number, withhold and pay taxes quarterly. I'd recommend getting quickbooks or similar to take care of all of that. My wife just created a spreadsheet but messed up the state unemployment withholdings. Take the kids to the interview and see how they interact. Maybe try them out babysitting for a night or two before commiting to hiring them.

Thanks- appreciate the info. We are looking at a live in au pair from Europe. So show time won't be an issue. Wondering if anyone else out there has had a live in?

You have to pay a fee but for some it is WELL WORTH the cost not to have to do everything viper mentioned. they take care of it all - and to different degrees depending on your wants/needs.

NannyChex

My wife used to work for Nanny Poppinz, depending on the area a conventional non live in Nanny may be cost competitive with an AuPair.

Nanny Poppinz

Curious about your desire for an au pair over a nanny. I have no first hand knowledge of either. I thought au pairs were more for light babysitting, not full on child care.

serious question
 

Why have kids if you need someone else to raise them?

What have you done to this point? Seems a little extreme to hire help, but: Does the wife work? How many kids? Special needs? Commuter?

I don't think you'll be gone constantly, and you should get a little seniority in a reasonable time frame. Not to mention that affording help on first year (really about 15 mos) pay will pretty much negate any take-home pay you'll get. Maybe move to base and/or have the wife cut back at work?

Yes wife works full time, so thus the need for help and this au pair service offers girls who work 45 hours a week. And yes i will be commuting as well.

Wow, we are definitely living in a different day and age; sub contracting parenting out to strangers.

Not trying to pass judgement on any individuals, more of a subjective opinion on where we are as a society.

Yeah, because no one has ever hired an au pair or a nanny before. Crazy times we're living in. Seriously guys, for a lot of us to make ends meet these days, both parents have to work. Do those of us who are interested in the op's question a favor and save your smug commentary for some other thread.

I too get tired of all the self rigorous people telling me how to run my life. Stick to the question and save the social commentary. Or become a progressive liberal. They live to tell others how to live.

Getting a little help is hardly "sub-contracting" out parenting. I'd imagine they'll still have the ability to parent as much or more than a typical two-job couple, given his ability to be home 12+ Full days/mo vs. a 9-5er who has 8-9 days plus a few worn out hours each evening.

That said I'm all for doing what you have to in order to keep the help to a minimum - it's all give and take. Since 9/11 I've sacrificed significantly in potential pay/progress to maximize my family time. Wife only part-time substitute teaches when it's convenient and I spent many years at crappy regional FO pay to have the ability to not commute and have schedule control. As a result I've been to at least 95% of my kids' events and the wife is always available to them, but no I cannot loan you any money. :)

BUT.... with certain opportunities that fit your goals you bite the bullet and make it work for a time in order to meet the end goals. Just be sure to remember what's really important in life (hint: it ain't flying).

Good luck bluelion and I'll see you at the training center.

Agree.. Opinions are like A-holes. There's no shortage

If you are going to go the young European live-in au pair route, hire the ugliest one you can. My anecdotal evidence shows that the father will be tempted to sleep with the nanny, so maybe hiring ugly will help prevent that. Oh hell, scratch that, hire the hottest one you can, you're going to bone her anyway, it might as well be epic!!

Nothing like a hot Euro au pair to test the marriage... wife is modern day Gloria Steinem.... ready to conquer the world and needs to validate her self worth amongst the other females, CPA's, lawyers, PMs, etc... doesn't want to mumble 'stay at home mom' at social gatherings, while all the professional women look at their shoes or find an excuse to move to another circle...

But enough with the identity crises Mom, the real losers are the kids. Of course they love the justification their 'rents give that they are getting culture from an Euro Au Pair.... :rolleyes: (the au pair couldn't care, wants US shopping and a boyfriend) Mommy says you're supposed to teach me culture... What? au pair says... there is a sale at Hollister... I'll buy you ice cream with mommy's money.... (****ed her au pair friend drives a BMW and she's stuck hauling around your most valuable (really?) possessions in an Accord.

No one loves or cares about your kids as much as you do... no one.

Women are in a real quandary.... it's either Mom or work...or get hubby to be a Mr. Mom.... just because society makes its ok, doesn't make it right.... I've seen the Moms in the crewroom on the phone, explaining why Mommy has to work to their kids... kids don't care if mom is an astronaut... they want their mom.

Ever notice how a majority of female pilots have airline pilots and/or MIL types as husbands....

Yeah, ladies... go prove to the world you have value... your kids don't mind... :rolleyes:

Well, what a surprise! It only took 2 pages for the lecturing and "hire a hot one" posts to be made. The OP asked a legitimate question, yet has to read obnoxious posts. Way to go, APCers! :rolleyes:

FWIW, I have no experience with au pairs, nannies, babysitters, etc., as I was a stay-at-home mom and had the good fortune to have relatives/friends babysit occasionally. Our family sacrified financially, but I wanted to raise my children. Other couples may not have that luxury, so give the guy a break, OK??

Maybe some of us are already at where some are going and used some humor to get the point across... which is... kids.

Don't go to the pig sty then complain you got crap on your shoes...

Out of sheer curiosity, how much does it cost for a live in nanny or a 40 hr per week one?

Somewhat dated information alert. I was seeing around $2000-2500 per month for a nanny with experience with a special needs child. I was looking about 3-4 years ago.

Because I was really looking in the past was why I was asking the OP about his decision of choosing an au pair instead of a nanny. It wasn't to be rude. There's really a difference between the two.

My wife got about $15/hr for the first child, and $5/hr for each additional child with a 4 hour minimum in Norfolk, VA 2 years ago.

Full time rates are usually slightly less, but it's a 30/40/50 hour a week guarantee whether you need them or not (negotiable on contract).

AuPairs tend to be cheaper, but you have to put them up, feed them, normally provide use of a car, etc..