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Old 07-01-2007, 11:24 AM
  #1  
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Default UAL to disconnect cockpit printers

Elk Grove Village (AP)

CFO Jake Brace today held a press conference in which he accused the pilots, represented by the Air Line Pilots Association, of singlehandedly engaging in an intentional delay program and what he termed a "paper chase" which is costing United millions a day. Brace went on to explain that pilots have begun using the computer printer in the cockpit excessively over the last few weeks resulting in a shortage of the special thermal paper airplane printers use, in an attempt to bring the company to the bargaining table to wrest pay increases for the pilots. Paper manufacturer Weyerhauser confirmed that the spot market for this special paper has gone ballistic, and sites demand by both American and United as the culprit. A roll of paper that used to cost the airlines 1.45 is now going for over 6.00.

Brace went on to accuse the pilots of delaying flights into and out of O'Hare specifically because, for some reason, "all of a sudden - they have to read some manual about flying into O'Hare". This has caused significant delays for United flights to and from O'Hare.

Pilot's union media spokesman Herb Hunter issued the following statement. "Help me out here fellas! The FAA just gave our pilots over 10 pages of specific new instructions to be followed every flight when at O'Hare. When you're an old guy like me, you can't read 10 pages on that itty-bitty computer screen they give us, so guys like me print is out and have the co-pilot read it aloud before the flight commences. This is mandated by the FAA. We can't fight it."

Brace ended the press conference by telling the media that United was seeking emergency approval to disconnect the cockpit printers. With the money saved on paper, United plans on hiring a consulting firm to review exactly how the pilots conduct their pre-flight planning. The cessation of cash flow for paper should cast a positive light on United's next stock buy-back of 350 million shares of common stock next month.
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Old 07-01-2007, 11:31 AM
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Why us it excessively ? Just throw it out the window ?

I wouldn't be surprised if there is a pile of paper rolls by the Tango-10 intersection of 32L at O'Hare.

Maybe the CFO could save the company millions in dollars and some paper if he didn't accept all the nice stock bonuses and payouts ???
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Old 07-01-2007, 08:12 PM
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What a joke! Why doesn't UAL ask it's passengers to reuse another passenger's " *ss Wipe." Could save a lot of money here too.

UAL asking the FAA for an immediate approval for a "Money Saving" item. LOL!!! Simple guys, just charge more for your tickets and provide a service worth the extra charge, and Lo and Behold, you might get people to fly you again.

The problem with the airlines is that they are REACTIVE vs. Proactive. When one is reactive, one will ALWAYS be (1) step behind the Eight Ball.
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Old 07-01-2007, 10:02 PM
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Originally Posted by Low & Slow View Post


Paper manufacturer Weyerhauser confirmed that the spot market for this special paper has gone ballistic, and sites demand by both American and United as the culprit.


Before you submit this to The Onion, you should change "sites" to "cites".







.
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Old 07-01-2007, 10:04 PM
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Don't pilots realize they are killing their own airline? I will agree, the bonus's paid to management are absolutly ridiculous, (and Tilton, well, no comment), but at some point, pilots at United need to realize they are doing more harm than good. Management is management, and until Tilton leaves, and the Board is severely re-organized, things will not change, no matter what pilots do. Management will be paid what management deserves, and pilots will be paid as pilots. There are reasons one may not switch with the other as far as pay goes, but that's the difference from being a pilot with a bunch of ratings, and an MBA with management and executive experience. Don't get me wrong, I'm for the pilots 100%, but things wont change over at United for a long time. Tilton is a oil man, iron fisted, money hungry. He knows he can get away with it, and the truth is, United can't afford to let him quit right now, and he knows it. He is a smart one. However, pilots protesting by costing the company millions is dumb business, and hurts whatever is left of the management - pilot relationship, if there still is one. United pilots need to bite the bullet. If they all decide to quit, there are more than enough people to get in their seat and do there job. Management knows this, and will use this ploy to its fullest extent. Thats the nature of the industry, and until things get better, it aint going to change.
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Old 07-02-2007, 05:29 AM
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Sweet! Now I can write to Jim May and the ATA and tell him that it's not actually all of those "corporate fat cats" causing delays. It's the ACARS printers on UAL's aircraft...

ugh.
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Old 07-02-2007, 05:39 AM
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Originally Posted by awesomesauce17 View Post
Don't pilots realize they are killing their own airline? I will agree, the bonus's paid to management are absolutly ridiculous, (and Tilton, well, no comment), but at some point, pilots at United need to realize they are doing more harm than good. Management is management, and until Tilton leaves, and the Board is severely re-organized, things will not change, no matter what pilots do. Management will be paid what management deserves, and pilots will be paid as pilots. There are reasons one may not switch with the other as far as pay goes, but that's the difference from being a pilot with a bunch of ratings, and an MBA with management and executive experience. Don't get me wrong, I'm for the pilots 100%, but things wont change over at United for a long time. Tilton is a oil man, iron fisted, money hungry. He knows he can get away with it, and the truth is, United can't afford to let him quit right now, and he knows it. He is a smart one. However, pilots protesting by costing the company millions is dumb business, and hurts whatever is left of the management - pilot relationship, if there still is one. United pilots need to bite the bullet. If they all decide to quit, there are more than enough people to get in their seat and do there job. Management knows this, and will use this ploy to its fullest extent. Thats the nature of the industry, and until things get better, it aint going to change.
Your kidding me right, "Bite the Bullet" get a clue................. Go back to class and ask your professor what the word Ignorant means........
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Old 07-02-2007, 05:56 AM
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That's funny. Gotta love The Onion.
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Old 07-02-2007, 06:26 AM
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Originally Posted by awesomesauce17 View Post
Don't pilots realize they are killing their own airline? I will agree, the bonus's paid to management are absolutly ridiculous, (and Tilton, well, no comment), but at some point, pilots at United need to realize they are doing more harm than good. Management is management, and until Tilton leaves, and the Board is severely re-organized, things will not change, no matter what pilots do. Management will be paid what management deserves, and pilots will be paid as pilots. There are reasons one may not switch with the other as far as pay goes, but that's the difference from being a pilot with a bunch of ratings, and an MBA with management and executive experience. Don't get me wrong, I'm for the pilots 100%, but things wont change over at United for a long time. Tilton is a oil man, iron fisted, money hungry. He knows he can get away with it, and the truth is, United can't afford to let him quit right now, and he knows it. He is a smart one. However, pilots protesting by costing the company millions is dumb business, and hurts whatever is left of the management - pilot relationship, if there still is one. United pilots need to bite the bullet. If they all decide to quit, there are more than enough people to get in their seat and do there job. Management knows this, and will use this ploy to its fullest extent. Thats the nature of the industry, and until things get better, it aint going to change.
You sir, are an idiot. Bite the bullet?? It's because of wimps like you that the industry is where it is right now.... I wouldn't be surprised to see you crossing a picket line....
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Old 07-02-2007, 06:32 AM
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This was written by a UAL pilot that thinks he is quite an expert on pretty much anything. It is not a company release and just something he made up. "Thinks" he is really funny.
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