tomgoodman

Two British traffic patrol officers from North Berwick were involved in an unusual incident, while checking for speeding motorists on the A-1 Great North Road . One of the officers (who are not named) used a hand-held radar device to check the speed of a vehicle approaching over the crest of a hill, and was surprised when the speed was recorded at over 300mph. The machine then stopped working and the officers were not able to reset it. The radar had in fact latched on to a NATO Tornado fighter jet over the North Sea , which was engaged in a low-flying exercise over the Border district. Back at police headquarters the chief constable fired off a stiff complaint to the R A F Liaison office. Back came the reply in true laconic R A F style. "Thank you for your message, which allows us to complete the file on this incident. You may be interested to know that the tactical computer in the Tornado had automatically locked on to your 'hostile radar equipment' and sent a jamming signal back to it. Furthermore, the Sidewinder Air-to-ground missiles aboard the fully-armed aircraft had also locked on to the target. Fortunately the Dutch pilot flying the Tornado responded to the missile status alert intelligently and was able to override the automatic protection system before the missile was launched."
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Clue32

Wow! Now that's funny.

Hacker15e

Automatic missile launches in response to getting lit up by a radar?

An air-to-ground sidewinder?

Sidewinders that guide on radar signals?

Fully-armed jets flying in an 'exercise', and tear-assing around low level right off the border?

Uh huh.

http://www.snopes.com/horrors/techno/radar.asp

1Seat 1Engine

Many years ago, as part of a bombing competition, we set up a TOT gate (time over target) as part of the competition. I had two pilots waiting at the appointed place to record the time that the various a/c crossed the steerpoint. A Georgia patrolman stopped to enquire why these gents were stopped in the middle of nowhere and when he realized he was in for a free air show he stayed there with them for a couple of hours. The Patrolman tried numerous times to get his radar gun to register a speed on these aircraft and even though he knew the time and direction of approach for all of them and the a/c were all less than 500 AGL when passing directly over him, he could not get his radar gun to register a speed.

Adlerdriver

It was labeled "humor" so I guess the 10% truth rule is in effect.

tomgoodman

And here's another one: When a departure controller complained that a BOAC jet failed to make a noise-abatement turn and set off the monitors, the Captain replied "Dreadfully sorry. Send the bill to the Queen!"

schwanm

Hahaha, that's a good one

Navajo31

Not the RAF, but the Royal Navy. And at least some truth to these:
British Performance Evaluations

The British Military writes EPR's (officer fitness reports). The form used for Royal Navy and Marines fitness reports is the S206. The following are actual excerpts taken from people's "206's"....

- His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.
- I would not breed from this Officer.
- This Officer is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't-be.
- When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.
- He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction.
- He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.
- Technically sound, but socially impossible.
- This Officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope - always spinning around at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere.
- This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
- When he joined my ship, this Officer was something of a granny; since then he has aged considerably.
- This Medical Officer has used my ship to carry his genitals from port to port, and my officers to carry him from bar to bar.
- Since my last report he has reached rock bottom, and has started to dig.
- She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
- He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.
- This Officer should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better.
- In my opinion this pilot should not be authorized to fly below 250 feet.
- This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
- The only ship I would recommend this man for is citizenship. - Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.

AFPirate

That village - idiot line is the best!!
I've got to send these over to our liasion RAF officer post haste!