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03-23-2017, 08:44 PM

#821

mojo6911

Gets Weekends Off

Joined APC: Dec 2007

Posts: 453

Quote:

Originally Posted by Smooth at FL450

Trying to blast off Newt Gingrich's skid marks with my own pee was a definite highlight of my 135 career. So glad go to have move onto 121 flying...

I tried my own pee, 3 bottles of water, and a whole can of hot water from the plane. Sucker didn't budge. That's when I had to break out the rubber gloves and manually force it down without puking on myself. Living the dream, indeed.

03-24-2017, 03:46 AM

#822

HeatLightnin

On Reserve

Joined APC: Jun 2015

Posts: 24

Quote:

Originally Posted by mojo6911

Finally this thread is going in the proper direction...$h!t stories.

03-24-2017, 03:56 AM

#823

AirOverTheLog

Line Holder

Joined APC: Dec 2016

Posts: 80

Quote:

Originally Posted by mojo6911

I use the plastic forks & spoons to scrape and surgically reduce the size of the turd. Then hit the flush button a dozen. It's like being a glorified ER turd surgeon who happens to also fly the airplane!!!

03-24-2017, 04:05 AM

#824

HeatLightnin

On Reserve

Joined APC: Jun 2015

Posts: 24

Quote:

Originally Posted by AirOverTheLog

Play with poop AND get paid a fraction of what you're worth!! How soon can you be airborne?? We need you to repo to TEB after 14 hours duty for a min rest

03-24-2017, 04:50 AM

#825

AirOverTheLog

Line Holder

Joined APC: Dec 2016

Posts: 80

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatLightnin

Play with poop AND get paid a fraction of what you're worth!! How soon can you be airborne?? We need you to repo to TEB after 14 hours duty for a min rest

Does upper management work as long of hours without food or rest??? Who scrubs the toilet in the office???

03-24-2017, 04:59 AM

#826

Captain Ducman

New Hire

Joined APC: Nov 2012

Position: B-787 food n movie critic

Posts: 8

Quote:

Originally Posted by thehead

RE: Dad wants to keep working.

Just tell him he has to clean out the ****ter any time someone manages to drop a deuce on your flight, and that might set him straight. It has a tendency to stick to the bowl.

You think "hangturds" dont happen at the majors? Picture this: its Hour 12 of 15 and you just wanna take a leak. So you walk in after the much rehearsed choreography of getting out of the cockpit, wait for a lav to open up only to have Mr Hanky and family staring back at you? If you leave it, you were the last on in so you own it... Only option is to blast it like a firehose (feel bad for the weak stream guys) an pray. No way in hell would I become a fecal dissecting technician and dad is WAY more savvy than I am when it comes to handling sh!t like that.

03-24-2017, 06:16 AM

#827

Smooth at FL450

weekends off? Nope...

Joined APC: Apr 2014

Posts: 1,941

Quote:

Originally Posted by Captain Ducman

Fair point. The difference is, in a business jet there could be 1 passenger and he/she knows exactly which pilot rubbed his nuts on the shoulder on his way back to the pooper. At my current job, 99% of the pax don't even notice that I'm out of the cockpit and going into the lav, and the other 1% will be off the airplane before I get out of my seat so I never need to see them again. And I certainly won't be standing outside on the ramp with hand extended for that awkward moment of eye-contact scrutinization.