leardriver

Oh, well in that case. Scratch everything I said. Fear is definitely not your issue. Sorry.

Thanks for your service. 🇺🇸

rickair7777

It's probably a control thing. You knew what you were doing in the infantry. Or maybe you're having some lingering PTSD from the time in the desert?

Anyway, probably best to talk to someone to help sort it out.

Again read the fine print on the medical form, the FAA and DOJ don't think that patient confidentiality applies to them at all.

rickair7777

She almost got killed after an instructor flew her into severe storm/wind conditions (mountain pass) in IMC. Airplane went inverted and gyros tumbled. She was very nervous flying IMC afterwards, and it got much worse if it rained.

We (the instructor team) took it upon ourselves to fix her, by putting her back on the horse. Got her comfortable in VFR, then under the hood, then struggled through flying in clouds and finally rain. It worked in her case, although I think she was a little nervous in rain for a while. But like I said she's at DAL now. Not sure if our method was what a medical professional would suggest but it worked. Given your military background I'm guessing it might work for you too, although I'm no professional. Sometimes you don't have to like it, you just have to do it...

Excargodog

I lost a vacuum pump while IFR in IMC, and it was a sobering experience. Single pilot IFR, for a newbie, is right at the edge of your capabilities, even under the best of circumstances. Yeah, I know, you can do it all on needle ball and airspeed, but it's rough to drop on a newbie which, fortunately, I wasn't. In the Garmin G5 era, it would be nice if we got rid of vacuum ADIs altogether. Had it happened as I was learning, it probably would have put me off flying for awhile. That's not cowardice, just human nature.

You might want to do a little soul-searching or simply hedge your bets with something like an iPad running a synthetic vision app until you get your confidence back. Start with simple stuff and gradually increase what you do until you regain your confidence. If it costs you 10-12 hours of working up to doing commercial level stuff, so be it. Yeah, that may be a couple grand, but in the grand scheme of things, that's not that big.

tomgoodman

The two equipment failures (vacuum system & CHT gauge) mean that your anxiety did have a reason. This is normal, and every time you successfully deal with a problem your confidence will increase. Eventually, the worst stresses in your career will be late hotel vans, lousy bid packages, and early simulator report times.

Ski Bird

I bet it's a control issue (or, more accurately a sense of not having any).

When your equipment failed (or nearly did), your brain went into overdrive assessing your options and determining what, if anything, you could do about it.

You persevered.

You successfully got through it and walked away. But then ... the tiny little lizard part of your brain couldn't let it go.

(the part that makes your heart race when you're scared and wants to keep you alive no matter what)

It reviewed the tapes, and got worried for you.

You probably lost some sleep over it, had intrusive thoughts, and now the lizard brain is throwing up red flags any time you step toward a similar situation.

No worries, you'll get through this. Focus on the failure. Make it an academic, rather than emotional event. Turn it into a learning opportunity (i.e. wrest control away from that little b***tard ... if only a little bit, and after the fact)

What went wrong? What component did you lose, can you live without it, what were your options? What did you do right? What could you have done differently?

But for sure I would take some baby steps before you re-accomplish the 'worst case' scenario.

Take a few flights where the objective is just to beat the pattern up or do some day VFR ... you can ease back into the night IMC cross-country stuff, after you're comfortably back in the saddle.

Happy Hunting!

Macchi30

That sounds terrifying.

But I think you all might be onto something with the control aspect.

Excargodog

And I think part of it is that in both cases (yours and hers) you really didn't get yourself out of it, the instructor did, leaving both of you sort of wondering if you COULD have gotten yourself out of it. And the fact is that you may or may not have been able to, BUT THAT'S OK. A trained instrument pilot is what you are expected to be after completion of the training, not during it.

Back off and take deliberate and measured steps in your flying to build up your confidence. Build on those successes. Be deliberate and keep with the cross check, VFR or IFR, night or day.

The odds of you getting through this are really quite good.

OH, and don't sweat a high CHT in a Cessna-172. If it happens suddenly, it's most likely a loose wire, which defaults to high temp in most cases. But either way, once you make the mixture full rich and maybe give it carb heat, you've really done everything you can do, so divert to the nearest practical field, land, and give it back to maintenance. It's their problem, not yours.

WhisperJet

I think what you're experiencing is normal. Maybe reframe what you're doing. Go speak to kids about flying; or go sit in the backseat of a few lessons where you can watch someone else's performance. Take an aerobatics lesson. Or a seaplane lesson. Or glider lesson. Go to an airshow. Take a friend flying. Do some fun things that remind you of why you started flying in the first place. Maybe take a month off from training. You can get through this. If not, there's no shame.

Yoda2

It's not uncommon to have some anxiety here and there at 150 Hrs. I would recommend carrying a paper bag within arms reach in case you hyperventilate. As you progress to around 350 > 500 hours you might actually get cocky and think you know everything; another time to really keep yourself in check.