Nevjets

You can't do Halloween or Super Bowl on alternative days.

I believe that if couples are committed to their marriage and put their children before any temporary unhappiness, they can make almost any career decision work.

AuxPumplow

Words A line check captain said to me. (Sort of paraphrasing)

"As much as I love this job, and I really do, don't kid yourself either. This career has killed many marriages. If you've been in a relationship, and then you adopt this job, it can be very difficult. She's gonna have a certain expectation about your relationship. It's easier to meet a woman after you're in this industry. It let's them see what they're buying into."

I happen to think there's a lot of truth to what he said. Either way, nothing is written in stone. GL.

Cheers.

Bhounddog

Makes sense. She married me under the pretense that I'd work a 9-5ish job my whole career.

Any career changers have any success or horror stories?

Flyhayes

My wife has taken my career in stride. When we first met, going to a 121 airline really wasn't where I intended to go and it was important to me that we made this life style decision together. Going into it, we said we'd give it a year to see feel it out and then reevaluate the decision. It helps that my wive is independant and that she fully knew what to expect. She has also found support and comradery in the different pilot wives forums. Although she had a great job, she worked odd hours, so out of practical necessity, my wife became a stay at home mom when we had out son.

AuxPumplow

Sure. It's true. In the last two months I've flown with two Captains who had been in long term Marriages. They didn't tell me specifics, but they eventually both got divorced.
This job does take up a lot of time. More than anything that's the problem. Sure, some people are home more than others. But, def not everyone.
Just understand you won't always be home. You won't be home when you want/need to be. There will be missed holidays/bdays/etc.

Yumyum

Ten years ago I would say STAY AWAY!

Very hard to predict how the next ten years will go...however a strong economy and more retirements will help in a positive way. This career is ultra tough on the significant other. My wife and I had the brilliant idea of moving after our first child. Zero help from family....That was a tough time and it tested our marriage. All good now, but I think I lucked out having a patient wife.

Flyhayes

People tend to think that divorces are statistically more likely if you work as an airline pilot. In reality there isn't any difference.

Cargo Man

Depending on age and demographics,...... over 50% of marriages end in divorce, with 70% of the time filed by the wife( soon to be ex-wife).

N19906

God, that's a tough one. AIDS is very real. It's typically the one staying at home who can't take it.
Some questions to ask yourself:
How independent is she? She has to be, because you're often not going to be there when she needs you.
Does she trust you? Has she had issues with her family in the past with infidelity or divorce? What kind of home life did she have growing up? My wife's parents were something of a train wreck, so I know sometimes she's been nervous about all these people she's never met that I'm with. (FA's and pilots who are female.) After meeting them through parties or having them over for dinner and getting to know them, she's been fine.
Does she have a support group locally? Do you have family nearby, or trusted friends who can lend a hand when something goes south? She'll need some support and a sounding board when you're not there to provide it.
You will usually miss all of the big days. Holidays, birthdays, special events, you name it. Christmas alone by yourself in the Jack-In-The-Box down at the intersection is priceless. I've done it. You can plan to celebrate on different days, or bid aggressively and get special days off occasionally, but that's usually as good as you can make it.

The "payoff" comes with seniority. The ability to arrange a schedule that gives you chunks of time off at home that suit you. The chance for all of you to travel. A lot. When you're home, you are completely there, there are zero distractions from work. There are a lot of little irritations, but I get paid to fly airplanes. That never gets old, and I work with great people too.

This is the best job in the world. At the same time, it is the worst job in the world. It can be hard to be honest with yourself, listen to your little voice on this one.
Good luck.

(Oh, and for what it's worth, avoid commuting like the plauge. Have a plan to live in base at some time down the road. It makes an enormous impact on QOL and time spent at home. I commute. It sucks.)

TeeRainPULup

My wife and I have been through it all in aviation. 24/7 Charter, Cargo, the great 91 job, Part 121 airlines. Ended up getting fired over politics from the 91 job moved 5 times in a year, losing a child at birth, and raising two boys. Part 121 airline job ain't got nothin on what life can really throw at a marriage. And I'm only 31. Aviation is tough on a marriage but you got to make sure you marry a woman that is willing to tolerate the life style and can adapt to any situation.