Aviation Induced Divorce Syndrome Questions
#22
Line Holder
Joined APC: Oct 2016
Posts: 54
But, still. That's pretty ****ing bad.
#23
Line Holder
Joined APC: Oct 2016
Posts: 54
Ten years ago I would say STAY AWAY!
Very hard to predict how the next ten years will go...however a strong economy and more retirements will help in a positive way. This career is ultra tough on the significant other. My wife and I had the brilliant idea of moving after our first child. Zero help from family....That was a tough time and it tested our marriage. All good now, but I think I lucked out having a patient wife.
Very hard to predict how the next ten years will go...however a strong economy and more retirements will help in a positive way. This career is ultra tough on the significant other. My wife and I had the brilliant idea of moving after our first child. Zero help from family....That was a tough time and it tested our marriage. All good now, but I think I lucked out having a patient wife.
I would say that the mandatory retirements will make this career a lot less tumultuous. There will be more movement, and seniority to have (which will improve QOL) Plus, it will minimize chances of furlough, which is a major stressor on any marriage.
#24
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Nov 2012
Position: CaptFo
Posts: 997
My wife and I have been through it all in aviation. 24/7 Charter, Cargo, the great 91 job, Part 121 airlines. Ended up getting fired over politics from the 91 job moved 5 times in a year, losing a child at birth, and raising two boys. Part 121 airline job ain't got nothin on what life can really throw at a marriage. And I'm only 31. Aviation is tough on a marriage but you got to make sure you marry a woman that is willing to tolerate the life style and can adapt to any situation.
#25
Honestly the reason why pilots get divorced is because the women can't handle the massive egos. Yes even that nerdy looking pilot has a big ego. It's all about you and also more of you you you. I guess it's part of the job, you have to be in charge but most of the guys don't really check it at the cockpit, they bring it home. Add in the fact that you're not home many days, you basically have to be almost perfect at relationships not to have troubles at home. The best way to have a lasting relationship is to stop thinking about you. Basically impossible for pilots. The second best is to have a independent wife but that can only go so long if you're a deuche. Last is to get an ugly fat chick.
#26
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,559
Divorce is no more common among pilots than other professions. In fact, aviation careers don't even fall into the top 15 careers with the highest divorce rates.
Whether or not your wife can "handle" you being gone is up to the two of you. But it is my opinion that if she chooses to leave you because of your job, your marriage was doomed anyway.
And as the guy above me who makes so little money said, when divorce among pilots DOES occur, it's probably more due to attitude than the job itself. Pilots tend to be driven, precise, knowledgeable, and perfectionists; things which often do not lend to improving a marriage, or which tend to drag their spouses down.
If you're not being an a$$hat to your spouse, and they leave you with the excuse of you being a pilot and often gone, then you probably married the wrong person.
Whether or not your wife can "handle" you being gone is up to the two of you. But it is my opinion that if she chooses to leave you because of your job, your marriage was doomed anyway.
And as the guy above me who makes so little money said, when divorce among pilots DOES occur, it's probably more due to attitude than the job itself. Pilots tend to be driven, precise, knowledgeable, and perfectionists; things which often do not lend to improving a marriage, or which tend to drag their spouses down.
If you're not being an a$$hat to your spouse, and they leave you with the excuse of you being a pilot and often gone, then you probably married the wrong person.
#27
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Jun 2006
Posts: 1,523
You can sift through this thread and get as many different stories as you want. And there may be some good points and make you think about different things, but when it comes down to it, it's all about you and your significant other and your values/personalities. There are tons of couples who have incredibly strong and solid relationships and are truly happy. The travel benefits are obviously a huge benefit for the two of you to get away, assuming you are both cut out for the risky essence of standby travel. But on the flip side, there are many people who can't handle it. It really all just depends on the couple. I'd venture to say that deep down inside, you probably know if you're cut out for it. But in case you really aren't sure, a few questions to ask yourself: is your wife independent, is your wife controlling, is your wife jealous, is your wife trustworthy, does she trust you? Now ask yourself those same questions about yourself. If you answer any of those questions unfavorably, that should be a big ol' red flag.
Bottom line, there are pros and cons to the job and how it affects the relationship. The old adage "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" is very applicable to relationships. It keeps things fresh. And being able to hop on a flight and go to some cool places for a couple of days is really awesome. But the stress of being apart, things going wrong when you're not there, etc. can be a lot to handle.
Bottom line, there are pros and cons to the job and how it affects the relationship. The old adage "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" is very applicable to relationships. It keeps things fresh. And being able to hop on a flight and go to some cool places for a couple of days is really awesome. But the stress of being apart, things going wrong when you're not there, etc. can be a lot to handle.
#28
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Mar 2013
Posts: 539
Honestly the reason why pilots get divorced is because the women can't handle the massive egos. Yes even that nerdy looking pilot has a big ego. It's all about you and also more of you you you. I guess it's part of the job, you have to be in charge but most of the guys don't really check it at the cockpit, they bring it home. Add in the fact that you're not home many days, you basically have to be almost perfect at relationships not to have troubles at home. The best way to have a lasting relationship is to stop thinking about you. Basically impossible for pilots. The second best is to have a independent wife but that can only go so long if you're a deuche. Last is to get an ugly fat chick.
In my simplistic experience women can be very emotional. Your gone and logic fails to kick in. Now she is making stuff up in her head. In her mind you are plowing some ho in every city. And when that fails ur plowing the FA. Ya the old granny type. Or the super flamboyant one. Then you come home to sideways glances. Turns out the whole crew hates eachother and you did overnights in the bible belt. So that fact is there but she will ignor that. Why? Emotional!
Now the reality is that some marriages will do just fine, no problems. Some, a few bumps. And some will go out of there way to destroy you and you career, thus taking taking ur marrige down in flames. Only one way to find out!
And there is the fact that regardless of your career choice, your marriage is not invincible. So make your choice and do the best you can. Oh ya and avoid commuting if you can! Just trust me on that
#29
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Joined APC: Feb 2015
Position: Downward Dog
Posts: 1,877
If you are religious I totally understand marriage but if you aren't religious and live as really good friends with offspring - divorce now and lock in the low rates.
Or go about your day and not care when the papers come because they are coming either way....probably.
Or go about your day and not care when the papers come because they are coming either way....probably.
#30
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Nov 2015
Posts: 180
It was tough at first when I was commuting to reserve. Thankfully she knew what she was getting into. Now that I live in base she swears I don't have a job. The time that I am gone I make up for it by doing anything I can to make her life easier. Which is easy because I actually have the time to do so, and have many hobbies on the side. I wish I made more money but ultimately I have tons of free time to do whatever. She does have friends though, her job is flexible and no kids yet. I'm sure that will change things.
And nothing beats surprising them with a five day trip to Cancun out of nowhere.
And nothing beats surprising them with a five day trip to Cancun out of nowhere.
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