A day At work
 

:D
How to practice being a pilot.

1. Stay out of bed all night.

2. Sit in your most uncomfortable chair, in a closet, for nine or ten hours facing a four foot wide panoramic photo of a flight deck.

3. Have two or three noisy vacuum cleaners on high, out of sight but within hearing distance and operating throughout the night. If a vacuum cleaner fails, do the appropriate restart checklist.

4. Halfway through your nocturnal simulator course, arrange for a bright spotlight to shine directly into your face for two or three hours, simulating flying an eastbound flight into the sunrise.

5. Have bland overcooked food served on a tray midway through the night.

6. Have cold cups of coffee delivered from time to time. Ask your spouse to slam the door frequently.

7. At the time when you must heed nature's call, force yourself to stand outside the bathroom door for at least ten minutes, transferring your weight from leg to leg, easing the discomfort. Don't forget to wear your hat.

8. Leave the closet after the prescribed nine or ten hours, turn on your sprinklers and stand out in the cold and "rain" for twenty minutes, simulating the wait for the crew car.

9. Head for your bedroom, wet and with your suitcase and flight bag. Stand outside the door till your wife gets up and leaves, simulating the wait while the maid makes up the hotel room.

10. When your spouse inquires, "Just what in the hell have you been doing?" just say, "Recalling the allure of all night flying to romantic places." as you collapse into bed.

11. If you are a purist, make this a two-day trip instead of a turn-around, and do this two nights in a row.


I think that pretty much describes how to practice becoming an airline pilot.

lol I didnt write it tho lol

You forgot the waiting line for Food stamps after the trip:p

lol


-Roman m

(in regards to ups or fedex, paraphrased from a very funny captain I flew with)

Yeah man, it would suck working there. I mean you would have to deal with all of the stuff you just listed. Then you would have to go to home depot and get a wheelbarrow. You need one to carry all the frickin money they pay you. That would suck, having to get a wheelbarrow and all.....

Is major cargo carrying still done largely at night? Are there any good day cargo flying positions?

You get cooked food? No fair!

ahh I love this forum. :)

Yea, no kidden! I am starting to get tired of eating crackers, cheese and raisins out of the great yellow box!

Gotta love biscoff cookies, peanuts, and cheese on wheat crackers.....

Nice post that was funny as hell :D

I think this same thread has been on here many times.