Merry Christmas to all... and to all, a good flight!
12-22-2008, 05:22 PM
#1
intentionally left blank
Thread Starter
Joined APC: Jul 2007
Position: Bus Co-Driver
Posts: 284
Merry Christmas to all... and to all, a good flight!
So there's like seven aviation variations of "The Night Before Christmas," but you ain't read this one anywhere. I know, because I wrote it on a deadhead today when I couldn't sleep. I do some writing here and there, but not poetry - this is my first poem since high school.
It's posted in Regional, because I'm a regional guy, the plane mentioned is a CRJ, and it's directed to my peers, not my elders :-) Plus, I figure some of you with kids might could use it as justification why you're working this Christmas.
Merry Christmas, guys and gals.
Warm wishes from a snowy Omaha overnight from the Pasture Pilot!
‘Twas two days before Christmas and all through the Hub
The reserves were weary, nerves worn to the nub
A mighty Nor’easter had socked in New York,
And all the dispatchers were loaded with work.
The Captain and I, both roused from sleep,
Deadheaded to Omaha, where the snow piled deep.
Maintenance sent us on a fool’s trip indeed,
To ferry a CRJ with flaps eight degrees.
The takeoff was normal, the climb out smooth,
It felt like we followed tracks or grooves.
While climbing through ten, I reached for the knob,
Then the computer cried out and my heart began to throb.
The command said “Climb” and we promptly did
But you wouldn’t believe the traffic we missed.
A blur of brown followed by flashes of red,
A familiar red cap adorned the pilot’s head!
The captain and I exchanged worried glances
And questioned how to call out traffic which also prances.
I reached for a rag to clean my glasses
When a voice came through my ears like molasses.
“I meant not to scare you,” the voice said aloud,
“I’m out with a camera to check out my route.”
On Comm 2 we struck up a chatter,
And I missed Center’s calls to query the matter.
Back on Freq with Claus, he kindly shared
details of his flight ops as never before dared.
He cried, “On flight crews and hosties, who work through the night,
To reunite families for grandma’s delights.
“On agents and rampers, who handle the gifts,
Too numerous and weighty for my sleigh to lift.
“On Purple and Brown, for much the same reasons,
I outsourced much work, this holiday season.
“If you excuse me, there’s still work for me,
The mapping of many houses is still left, you see.”
He banked away and was gone in a flash,
As he covered the country in a mad dash.
Thanks my friends, for your service and care,
Ensuring all the loved ones arrive without scare.
You play a big role as deputized elves,
Ensuring family members see more than themselves.
To all my comrades, uniformed in black and blue,
This holiday message goes out to you.
Whether in a hotel or on a red-eye all night,
Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good flight!
I'm gonna throw a little ©2008, Farm Boys Productions, right here so if it shows up on someone's greeting cards, I can retire!
It's posted in Regional, because I'm a regional guy, the plane mentioned is a CRJ, and it's directed to my peers, not my elders :-) Plus, I figure some of you with kids might could use it as justification why you're working this Christmas.
Merry Christmas, guys and gals.
Warm wishes from a snowy Omaha overnight from the Pasture Pilot!
‘Twas two days before Christmas and all through the Hub
The reserves were weary, nerves worn to the nub
A mighty Nor’easter had socked in New York,
And all the dispatchers were loaded with work.
The Captain and I, both roused from sleep,
Deadheaded to Omaha, where the snow piled deep.
Maintenance sent us on a fool’s trip indeed,
To ferry a CRJ with flaps eight degrees.
The takeoff was normal, the climb out smooth,
It felt like we followed tracks or grooves.
While climbing through ten, I reached for the knob,
Then the computer cried out and my heart began to throb.
The command said “Climb” and we promptly did
But you wouldn’t believe the traffic we missed.
A blur of brown followed by flashes of red,
A familiar red cap adorned the pilot’s head!
The captain and I exchanged worried glances
And questioned how to call out traffic which also prances.
I reached for a rag to clean my glasses
When a voice came through my ears like molasses.
“I meant not to scare you,” the voice said aloud,
“I’m out with a camera to check out my route.”
On Comm 2 we struck up a chatter,
And I missed Center’s calls to query the matter.
Back on Freq with Claus, he kindly shared
details of his flight ops as never before dared.
He cried, “On flight crews and hosties, who work through the night,
To reunite families for grandma’s delights.
“On agents and rampers, who handle the gifts,
Too numerous and weighty for my sleigh to lift.
“On Purple and Brown, for much the same reasons,
I outsourced much work, this holiday season.
“If you excuse me, there’s still work for me,
The mapping of many houses is still left, you see.”
He banked away and was gone in a flash,
As he covered the country in a mad dash.
Thanks my friends, for your service and care,
Ensuring all the loved ones arrive without scare.
You play a big role as deputized elves,
Ensuring family members see more than themselves.
To all my comrades, uniformed in black and blue,
This holiday message goes out to you.
Whether in a hotel or on a red-eye all night,
Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good flight!
I'm gonna throw a little ©2008, Farm Boys Productions, right here so if it shows up on someone's greeting cards, I can retire!
Last edited by Bug Smasher; 12-22-2008 at 05:32 PM. Reason: Can't go through 180 with flaps hanging.
12-22-2008, 05:32 PM
#3
intentionally left blank
Thread Starter
Joined APC: Jul 2007
Position: Bus Co-Driver
Posts: 284
Crap, yeah. Actually at first I wrote it up squawked for a gear disagree, about the most heinous write-up I could come up with for the adventure.. and when I typed it up, I filled in flaps fail, as that's what the actual failure was. Thanks.. I'll edit that right quick!
FWIW, the flight didn't happen anyway. We got here, the snow hit and we got delayed. I turned into a pumpkin, went to the hotel and scheduling dispatched another FO up here.
Merry Christmas anyhow, gang!
FWIW, the flight didn't happen anyway. We got here, the snow hit and we got delayed. I turned into a pumpkin, went to the hotel and scheduling dispatched another FO up here.
Merry Christmas anyhow, gang!
Merry Christmas.
Deputized elf... Awesome... 
