Dating as an airline pilot
 

Alright folks, we always see alot of stuff about carrying on marriages and families as an airline pilot, and the difficulties involved in it. But there is another side to this: dating. How hard is it to meet new people and date them, find someone to fall in love with, etc.??? I alway thought there could be two sides to it: The first is that with being away from home alot, that it'll be somewhat difficult to have a really active social life. On the flip side, airline piloting itself gives you the opportunity to meet lots of people (other pilots, flight attendants, gate agents, passengers, etc.).

As always with these types of threads, please keep cynicism to a minimum. I'm looking for real answers and preferably your real experiences.

Thanks!:)

Personally I stay away from the inter-office dating. If you date a FA, gate agent, etc and things dont work out then you still have to see them every day and work with them. It could get real awkward real fast. Thats my personal opinion, works for some people. I know I will get a lot of crap for this, but we have damn cool jobs. Most guys approaching girls are desk-jockeys and push paper all day. We fly high, fast, and travel. Who cares if we fly 15000ft in a turboprop and have layovers in podunk-city, its different and more exciting that staring at a computer all day. I havent had any trouble meeting and finding time to date while I have been working here. Sometimes being gone for 3-4 days on a trip and then coming home is nice. Everyone needs some space now and then. OK, end of my Dr. Phil sermon.

Yeah, like the last guy said. Assuming you have been to college and go to the gym, you have a leg up on all the desk-bound dorks and travelling salesmen that the average girl has at her disposal. You probably have more confidence and cool factor, and it can work to your advantage as long as you play it right (ie not like Mav in Top Gun, no ray-ban aviators or other pilot paraphenalia). Try to go more than 20 minutes before she finds out you're a pilot...if she was starting to warm up to you anyway, that should sink the hook :rolleyes:

Also avoid the FA's...marry one of those and you're doomed. Once she starts popping out the puppies do you think she's going to want to go to work? Fat chance of that, now you're supporting a family on regional pay :eek: There are plenty of professional women out there who make way more than you do, but can't find the right guy...those kind of women really dig pilots, navy seals, etc. Plus they won't want to quit working when they have a kid and sit home watching Oprah. You just need enough self-confidence to not be bothered by a woman who makes more than you.

If you can't find any professional women in your town, try bidding long overnights in the bay area :D

It's true that there seems to be a shortage of good "straight" single men here in the Bay Area, and there certainly are plenty of professional women around here. The thing is though, that most of us professional women here in the Bay Area tend to work a fair amount and you would also have to be ok with that. I work at least 50 hours a week and travel a fair amount. The last guy I dated was a nice guy but he couldn't seem to deal with that. The bright side of a woman who works a lot, is it gives you plenty of time to play golf or do whatever on your days off. I'm sure that there are more than a few women around here who wouldn't mind coming home to a nice pilot guy after a long day.:)

Speaking of work, time to start my 10-12 hour day.

That's the first time I've heard RJ pilots equated with Navy Seals! Dream on rickair777, you'll NEVER be close to a Seal in the coolness factor. I'm sure you meant that as a joke. On the other hand, if you can find a girl stupid enough to believe it.....;)

Conversly, there are alot of women who can't deal with the fact that airline pilots are gone alot. Even the women who are the "strong, independent, career type who just want companionship". Although 50 hours a week is alot, many airline pilots can be gone for 75-80 hrs a week, sometimes more. Now toss in the high possibility that alot of us cannot get weekends off.

On average I'll spend atleast 3000 hours a year away from home. That would be equal to a 12 hour day, 5 days a week for somebody with a "normal" m-f job. If someone works 50 hrs a week at a m-f job that comes out to about 2600 hrs. That's on the high side for the m-f job and not subtracting out vacations or holidays off.

Also, our job is not as flexible as many think. I have yet to hear of an airline that has "flex" time, or whatever you wish to call it. If my 10 hour day turned into a 16 hour day, I can't just take 6 hours off next week or whenever I choose. This one is my favorite, you are dating someone and they ask, "can't you just take the day off?" Sure, in the middle of a 4 day trip, no problem. Or, "can't you get somebody else to work for you?". Again, sure. Let me get some guy who has just been away from his home and family for 4 or 5 days and ask him to spend even more time away. He'll jump at the chance.

I really don't think there is a problem with dating someone you work with as long as you are careful about it. For example, I started dating a mechanic at the commuter I worked for. We completely avoided the work gossip because we were not secretive about it like a lot of people dating at work were. From the beginning, there were no games and/or bull$hit. It just felt right. It's gotta feel right from the heart not between your legs. We were both in the same place in our lives (ie. looking for a long term relationship). He has since started flying and is now at another regional. We have been together over 4 years and are engaged. I could not be happier. My point is, dating someone from work can work, you just can't be stupid about it (ie. screwing a psycho FA on an overnight, dating multiple people, etc.).

If the average divorce rate is 50% for average healthy relationships, imagine what it is for pilots.:eek: Most I've talked to are divorced. The only way a pilot marriage can work is if the spouse has had family members(father/mother) who were pilots/fAs, meaning they already are accustomed to that life. Unless you have an obligation to your parents to raise your own family, enjoy the single life where you can date anyone with no commitment.

Regarding that "50% of all relationships end in divorce" thing. I've never seen how they got the statistics on that one, but I think that is all marriages. Which means that a lot of people get married and divorced several times, thus skewing the stattistic of "what are the odds that YOUR marriage will last?"...

As for dating, the distance thing hurts, but I've found that they're willing to put up with it for someone that is fun. The nature of our job gives us enough time to do other things and still be "interesting" to a girl (or guy), as opposed to someone that hangs out in a cubicle all day and has the same people to their left and right all the time.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. Flight Instructing tought me the truth to that...

It all depends on the type of person you are, but in terms of who can deal with their spouce being away alot, I have heard FA's and Pilots go well together because they just simply understand each other more. This is different with everyone, but we all know many pilot's and FA's who are married...or who were married. It terms of the dating though, what's this about you will have to see the person everyday? I mean when you work with an FA what are the chances you will see them again everyday. Or better yet a gate agent, what are the chances you will see them everyday? Also, us pilot's may not be navy seals, but my experience has been as long as you are not arrogant, all I do is after a while let them know I fly, If i like them ask if they wanna fly, take em' up, and deal closed... And in conclusion, has anyone ever heard the of VOR rule? Is it one girl per VOR, within a certain radius?? haha:D

I agree that my old navy bros are far cooler than most of the RJ pilots I work with but the girls don't seem to know the difference. They think jets are cool...any jet, as long as it doesn't have props.

Plus if you think pilots are gone a lot...team guys are NEVER home.

I agree, you guys work hard and are gone alot, and people who don't travel often, usually discount the toll that it can take on a person and their family. They think you all just roll into town, hit the bars, and party. They don't know the reality. I'm not trying to have a debate here over who works harder. I'm just saying that I work a lot, and many women do, not necessarily by choice. Just take a look at the cost of living in the Bay Area!

I don't have "flex-time" either. Basically, if I want to make or need money, then I work. I just had this conversation with my orthopedic surgeon, who told me that I went back to work too soon after my recent knee surgery. He nodded his head in agreement because he knows what it takes to live here, even if it goes against his best medical judgement to allow me to go back to work.

Truth is, many people work too hard and work too much to survive economically. I don't need to go into that here. I know that you all are intelligent enough to grasp that. Heck, all I was trying to say here was that there are probably more than a few professional women (here in the Bay Area) who work many hours that would appreciate a nice pilot guy that might understand working hard...:)

Jeeze, ya just try to be nice and it gets all mixed up....:confused:

And many physicians are never home as well, as well as other occupations. It just takes the right mix to make a relationship work. I don't think it really has anything to do with being in the same occupation.

Rickair7777, I do admit to a soft spot for Navy men. My dad was a Navy man, and although he's gone now, I still fancy myself as "Daddy's girl"...and maybe that's why you also enjoy Bay Area women, many of them had a dad in the Navy...:D

I wasn't getting into a contest with you at all, just explaining what this job can be like sometimes. Sorry if it came off like that. Don't be the sensitive type (lol). I've tried to explain this stuff till I'm blue in the face to some of the women I've dated (even the smart ones) and they STILL don't get how in-flexible or abnormal the schedule can be.

As far as how hard we work, that's a bit of a joke. Overall, I actually work that much, on average it's a max of about 23 hours a week, of paid labor that is. By that, I mean not getting paid for showing up an hour prior to flight time (like 5:30am) and not getting paid, waiting outside the airport 45 minutes after we arrived for a van to the hotel where I'm only going to get 6 hours of sleep (maybe) before starting a 12 hour day.

The fact is, it takes 75-80 hours a week away from home to get paid for that 23 hours.

Like I said, not getting into a contest. Just laying out the facts. Facts that alot of people outside this industry can't seem to comprehend. So, for the guy that started this thread, this is the kind of crap you have to look foward to.

When you meet a girl and she asks what you do, just say this: "I work in aluminum tubing, it's kinda boring, what do YOOOUUUU do?"

BTW, how does a workaholic from the bay area find out about an aviation message board?

Hey there Dojetdriver,

I was just messin' with ya....:D . Sorry if I sounded too sensitive, didn't mean it to come off that way.

How does a workaholic from the Bay Area find her way to this board? Well, she rips out her knee at the gym and has to have emergency surgery right in the middle of the upcoming busy travel season. She works in the travel industry and is home recovering from surgery, when a possible Delta pilot strike looms ahead. Clients are freaking out, and Miss Workaholic is home with her knee in the air and her laptop, trying to decide whether she should advise clients to change flights. So she googles "Delta airline pilots" or something like that, and somehow discovers this board...:D (by the way, she advised clients to stay the course)

Strike is averted, clients simmer down, and Miss Workaholic is still stuck at home with her bum knee, but she hangs around this site anyway, she can't do much of anything else at this point. Maybe she hangs around because she travels a fair amount, understands that life, and honestly admits that with all the time she spends in airports, she checks out the handsome pilots. Men have been checking out the F/A's since flight began, and now that women are traveling a lot more for business, can we not check out the cute pilots?

I know you all work alot and believe me, I am on your side.

Skygirl,

You must really like pilots if your hanging out in a commercial pilot forum and have that many posts since april.

Keep the faith.

relationships/dating
 

Relationships depend upon the maturity of the persons involved. I see it as no different than being a surgeon, attorney or truck driver. If man and a woman love, trust and deeply care for each other, no matter what type of storm comes...they'll make it through the storm." JMO.

atp

It hasnt been hard for me and my girl - hell I only worked 4 days last month - who are yall working for haha.

You should see her and MzKat's PM's! ;)

give skygirl a break. :) she's made a lot of great contributions!

Aww shucks, thanks Animals...:)

Hey, and I do like pilots, they seem like good guys. Is there a reason why I should not like them? Besides, you all do look pretty damn cute in those uniforms, and I've never been the uniform type before. Maybe that's changed...LOL

Loudgarrett, I recently discovered this place while laid up from knee surgery. I think I already told the story of how I found this place on another thread, so I won't bore you by repeating it, unless you really want to know how I found this place...yukyukyuk. I was actually working from my bed with my laptop when I stumbled upon this forum. Ya'all seem like so much fun I stuck around! And besides that, I'm learning all kinds of things that are somewhat helpful in my profession. Next thing you know, I'll probably sign up for flying lessons..:p I'll be sure to warn ya'all though before I take to the skies.

Oh jeeze Slice...:p

Where is MzKat anyway? I wonder if she's behaving herself...;)

i'm here and...
i'm not ;)

Now there's a surprise...:rolleyes: ;)

and slice, I'm calling you on this one, my pms have been completely innocent!

Not cool
 

I told the last girl I tried to pick up that I retired as a Navy Seal, worked at the CIA for a bit and starred with Ben Stiller in some movie I made up. I also mentioned that I was a major airline captain and had just completed medical school as a cardiologist. I just about had her when a friend of mine showed up and told her I was full of sh$t. The disappointment in her eyes about ripped my heart out. I have got to work on a more believable line for the next hot thing I run into. maybe I will try the "I rescue poor stranded animals" line and try to evoke some sympathy from here. When she is weak, I'll throw on my pilot uniform! Hey, it might work????

how about hey baby, i go 600 miles an hour for a living... no lies nec.

that would work on me... ;)

Innocent Lies
 

I like to tell them I'm a "Dolphin Traininer", for the new Aquarium / Zoo at (city)
As far as I know, girls like dolphins.:D

Will you buy this?
 

Hey baby, I fly at mach 2, know Val Kilmer and work part time at an abused animal shelter. Will you buy that?
BTW, I 'm not really a Navy Seal

My standard, "Please don't tell my Mom I'm an airline pilot, she thinks I'm a piano player in a ***** house!" (Brothel)

I don't date much. It really ticks off my wife.

A captain I flew with told girls that he was a heavy equipment operator instead of a pilot. I think that he had problems with some coming after him for his paycheck when he said that he was an airline pilot (just goes to show that girls don't always do their research).

are you sure he was talking about his career? ;)

As a highly experienced SINGLE pilot I have found the best formula for dating and marriage as a pilot.

Find a girl you like and just buy her a house and a car and hand her the keys. Then leave and go fly. The results are the same and you avoid making the Divorce Attorneys rich :D

What about the girl already has a house (in San Francisco) and a car? I am with Skygirl, I have always liked pilots. I am learning how to fly (to become a private pilot) myself. I just started to date a charter airline pilot. Any advice?

Yeah, talk to the pilots that have over nighted with him.

I'm in Logisitcs, I deal in the scheduled delivery of pressurized aluminum tubing.:rolleyes:

clever
 

LOL HSLD.... :eek: :D

When I sat in the engineer's seat on the 727, I had to carry a coffee jug. I told chicks I poured coffee for a living. No one asked me "at which Starbuck's?...."

How many moo's, captain?

tip,Edit....delete

If you both work for the same Company Forget it..
 

Every heard the term, Never dip your pen in the company ink.:p