Stupid pax stories
 

This thread was inspired by the funniest radio conversation thread.

What are some of the dumbest things passengers have said or done on one of your flights?

My personal favorite is when a pax refused to take off his headset during the FA brief. The FA's explained that the regs required him to comply with their instructions. He refused and demanded to see the captain. So the captain goes back there to confront him. The guy says, "I'm a private pilot and I know the regs! You guys can't just make up rules to feel powerful." The captain then calmly asked if the pax had ever read FAR part 121. The pax got a blank look on his face and said, "What is that? Part 91 is the regs you need to follow." Priceless.

Where to even begin...

We had a pax refuse to remove his headset for T/O. Unfortunately he was a dead-ringer for Mohamad Atta, and the FA was an ex-green beret... That all got very, very interesting real fast. We RTG'ed and had security remove the guy.

What time is the 12 o' clock flight?

Are you old enough to drive this?

I had a girl I knew from high-school walk onto a plane I was flying and on seeing me in the cockpit she said, "you have to get out of there before someone sees you and you get in trouble."

On a 3 1/2 hour RJ flight from EWR-OMA; "oh no, not one of those puddle jumpers again...."---Until we start flying 74's to OMA, you get RJ's; suck it up.

Now days, the boxes rarely complain.... and I'm usually the one making dumb comments.

I hear this at least a couple times a day as people deplane: "where are my bags?"

At least OMA is a fairly large city. I love hearing people say that in Lake Charles or Shreveport. I always tell them the 747s were all gone when we got to work that morning:D

Another good one was in SJC. An unruly pax had refused to stay seated during the decent. The cops were there to meet the airplane and this pax decided to try to slap one of the cops. The pax was a middle-aged woman who was definetly from a high income household. The cop grabbed her arm and had her on the ground immediately. All the while she was screaming about how her lawyer was going to sue us all, blah, blah.

Now thats a kodak moment ;)

Another one I just rememebered: During the descent, the FA noticed that there was a pax in the lav. As we got lower, the FA knocked on the door several times, telling the pax that he needed to return to his seat. By this time, we were getting quite close to touchdown so the FA decides to hell with the guy, and sits down. According to the FA, at about the time he heard the "two hundred" call the pax comes strolling out of the lav with a newspaper. Needless to say, the FA was not a happy camper. This was all related to us after we parked at the gate.

No compression.....
 

Was doing my preflight one day which involves inspecting the props for any damage. Was spinning the prop for inspection (the EMB is a free turbine) and noticed a passenger staring at me with a very weird look on his face. Got back into the flight deck, and the passenger demanded to talk to us when he boarded. He stated "I can't believe you're gonna put all of us in danger by flying this thing! I saw you spin that prop freely out there, that engine has no compression!". Hard not to laugh....

From my FA days....

Working a 37 configured for Shuttle....a liitle girl came into the aft galley looking for the bathroom. I opened the door to the unoccupied one and there was a man taking a dump, reading the newspaper---and sitting on the seat without anything! EW. He must've been in there for awhile cause i hadn't seen him go in. Needless to say, I was mortified, the little girl got an eyeful, and he just looked at us like we were the crazy ones! Doesn't help that almost everyone in the back of the airplane could also see..... I said "Lock the door next time buddy!" and he couldn't look me in the eye/or any of the pax for the rest of the flight. We laughed about that one for days....