Does UA have a policy regarding kilts?

Not as long as it’s purple

Only if you wear it as a true Scotsman would.

Three sheets to the wind?

No sheets, just wind.

Old man identifies as young hipster. Spots image of his likeness in a magazine used without his permission, files lawsuit against magazine for slandering him and being labeled as a hipster.

Faces disgruntlement because he misidentified HIMSELF.

Can't wait for hipsters to wear NewBalance shoes, phone holsters, and denim jeans "ironically". Old man can at least claim he was doing it before it was "cool".

It’s all PC and stupid. United could give a rats derrière as well. All about business.

Makes the control check much more exciting.