Didn't think I was off when the same thought struck me.

I would have told him, "For now on, you are Maestro."

"Boss you can call me Cool Hand Luke, and you will NEVER break me!"

Best thread I've read in this forum in a while!

My tool of the day/month story...

The captain who was an FFDO who gave me a thorough military style tactical briefing once a day (for the entire month) on what was going to take place if Ahmed the terrorist attempted to breach the cockpit. He used terms like "2 shots, center-mass". It was so ridiculous.

I kept thinking "dude, we're flying an RJ, going from ORD-DSM....get real."

Man, I hate flying with a gung-ho FFDO. I don't have a problem with the program per se, but some of those guys are just nuts. I've flown with a few that can't seem to talk about anything else. One guy spent the entire three day trip doing nothing but telling me stories about all the different threat info they get from their FFDO website. This guy's whole life was defined by all the things he was afraid of. I finally had to just cut him off and tell him I didn't want to hear anymore of it. Got pretty quiet after that.

Some of these guys? I find a vast majority of the "cockpit gun toting club" to be a little "eccentric". Some wannabe John Wayne's that define their authority by carrying a weapon aboard a pressurized vessel, behind a door with multiple locks.

Great segue NWAF16! What ever happened to the "Tool of the Year" award winning US Air Pilot, also being an FFDO, that discharged his weapon in the cockpit in PHL?

GJ

My 2 favorites...

Waiting at the departure airport for the weather to go above mins at the destination due to fog. Passenger in 3B tells us we need to go because he just called his friend and he can see the stars.

Show up at the podium on reserve call-out. Introduce myself to the Captain I'll be flying with.
CA: "You are a jumpseater?"
Me: "No, I'm your FO"
CA: "Where did my FO go?"
Me: "I don't know."
CA: "When did they call you?"
Me: "Four hours ago."
CA: "But we were still flying in from XXX, the FO didn't say anything about being sick...(long pause)"
Me: "Wow, those are shiny shoes, you do that yourself?"

Dude I'm flying with right now puts his shoulder strap his epaulets.

Not sure if he's a tool, but I guarantee you I'll be out before him in a fire lol.

I believe he got his job back. I met him a couple of times and he was nothing short of a true professional and a gentleman---certainly not the cowboy he was portrayed to be.

That's one of the funniest things I've ever heard!!