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Me. On the PA. I think I was trying to tell the passengers it would be a little bumpy, or maybe it was a little choppy? It came out "a little chumpy". So I laughed. Still on the PA.

Confidence was high...
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Quote: Me. On the PA. I think I was trying to tell the passengers it would be a little bumpy, or maybe it was a little choppy? It came out "a little chumpy". So I laughed. Still on the PA.

Confidence was high...
You should have followed that up with,

"Aw CRAP, look at the SIZE of that thing! We're SCREWED!"
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Quote: Because what Joe Schmo passenger knows what an APU bleed MEL is, much less what a cross bleed start means? Gotta keep those PA's simple usually.
On the other hand, what if you're going to an airport where there are a lot of Boeing employees, people who know the airplane and/or the systems?

Its better not to use technical jargon, especially if you use the wrong jargon. I once heard a Captain describe a problem on the PA then, during the subsequent approach, do something completely erroneous for the problem he described.

In the end, it turned out he had a different problem but used the wrong technical term to describe it. His actions were exactly correct for the problem he actually had. That taught me to say something along the lines of:

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have encountered a mechanical issue and are dealing with it using our standard operating procedures. Thank you for your patience."

That's really all you need to say.

The Captain in question might have said:

"Due to an inoperative APU, we are unable to use the air-conditioning system at this time. Once we start an engine, we will be able to cool the cabin. Thank you for your patience."

Technical jargon sometimes tends to frighten nervous fliers because they don't know what you're talking about and can't appreciate how minor the problem at hand may or may not be. They always default to "ITS SERIOUS."

The KISS principle always seems to work best.
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Quote: The KISS principle always seems to work best.
I guess I don't fully understand this. Last time I tried the KISS method, the flight attendant really didn't appreciate it.
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Quote: I guess I don't fully understand this. Last time I tried the KISS method, the flight attendant really didn't appreciate it.
Try a male one next time
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Quote: I guess I don't fully understand this. Last time I tried the KISS method, the flight attendant really didn't appreciate it.
If you tried to kiss a flight attendant, then you definitely didn't "Keep It Simple Stupid."
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Words that should never be used during PAs:
  • Bleed
  • Crossbleed
  • Stall
  • Stewardess
  • Failure
  • Maybe
  • Rape
  • Hi Jack
  • Cervical Warts
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Quote: Me. On the PA. I think I was trying to tell the passengers it would be a little bumpy, or maybe it was a little choppy? It came out "a little chumpy". So I laughed. Still on the PA.

Confidence was high...
Women's volleyball gets me "a little chumpy".
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A pilot KISS? Ewwwwww.




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Quote: My money is on Scr-United!
We have a winner!!
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