Hahah...
Sorry to be that guy, but anonymous people on a forum board shouldn't have that much affect on your life decisions.

Secondly, did you have to preface it? As if we wouldn't give you good advice had you not??

Anyway, best advice... You live a stone's throw from SDF, so NETWORK!!!! Like other's have said, you can't walk into a grocery store without bumping shoulders with a UPS guy.
Get on LinkedIn and start messaging people in your area for a coffee or a beer. Ask around, find UPS pilots, get inside info NOT from web boards.

Good luck.

Thanks for the input folks, it's given me a few things to think about. I haven't applied yet since I haven't hit my 1k tpic yet but it's good to know there isn't a "secret sauce" to land an interview. I've put almost two decades in this career and it's nice to hear some thoughtful responses.

I have had my app in since 2011. Any idea why it's labeled "inactive"?? I update all the time and filled out a new app in January... Still inactive.

You must have something in your app that disqualifies you. Read through it carefully and see if you can find what that may be.