Airline Pilot Central Forums - FNG's What to expect....

Several threads in the last few months asking questions about what to expect for the first few months. I responded to one guy but thought that it would be more beneficial to cast a slightly wider net. Here is my reply.

"You will receive positive space seating to and from home on your breaks. Or, 'you're brakes' if you prefer some of the newer alternative spellings. Either way, you can't loose. Or lose, as I prefer.

Training schedules tend to vary depending on how booked up the sims are since it all boils down to sim time. But, in general, you can plan on up to 2 weeks of basic indoc prior to airplane-specific training. That takes another 3-4 week but it's been a while since I went through so that may no longer be the case. I'm sure a newer hire will correct me if I'm off target.

My classmates were awarded their training dates on day two of indoc. I had a choice between two weeks off after BI, or four. The thought of my employer paying me to sit around and do nothing was simply abhorrent to me and I quickly asked if I could skip the weekly off days, and go straight through from day first to last. Much to my utter dismay, the company would not allow me to skip the weekly days off, and they then insisted that I take either choice one - 2 weeks off, or two - 4 weeks off, between BI and my sim's.

I decided to go with option two and I took the 4 weeks off. You see, I had a plan. As previously mentioned, the thought of me receiving compensation without production just rubbed me raw so I decided to do something about it. WORK. Since I was so happy to have been hired, and since flying for Mother U is the coolest job in the world, and since everyone I knew told me that they would literally do my job for free(!) I decided to do just that.

The first week I hung around TK. I bussed tables in the cafeteria and even got to wash some dishes when things got really busy. I bought an apron and a cool paper hat. I just shrugged when asked anything and melted right in. You'd be surprised at some of the food guys left on their trays in the cafeteria! That dishwashing gig really paid off. I finally had my dream job! Back then the cafeteria was open 24 hours and the place was jammed for 18 of them. But then again, we had more pilots back then.

While at TK, I put myself up at the Red Lion.

Other days, I wandered around the halls with some cleaning supplies. You know, the contract guys are just lazy bums and they don't know what they're doing and never get the gunk that resides under the vending machines, or up under the lip of the commodes. I can't stand that so I did something about it. I showed them!

I put on my Bubba Gump shrimp hat and taught myself how to operate the TK mower. I mowed a cool crosshatch pattern into the big grassy area to the north of the A building. Then I went back over it, lowered the mowing deck and cut a huge "UA #1!" in the center of the lawn. I then washed and waxed the mower and spruced up the area where they keep the landscaping stuff. It was a mess. I HATE that! I finally had my dream job!

I tried to wax a few planes at DEN, but the security there was super tight! I was so angry when I was unable to get out and floss and buff those mofo's. But, being the hard-charging, self-starting, pull myself up from the bootstraps kind of guy that I am, I was not about to let THAT get me down so I repeated my cleaner role in OPS. I then moved on to the Chief Pilots offices. Everyone there was great and when they found out I was a new-hire, they took my picture and even bought me lunch.

But I still had a real conundrum bouncing around in my skull...UA was still paying me first officer pay rates, but here all I was doing was janitorial work. This really really stuck in my craw! So, I decided to put in 18 hours days in order to offset the companies largesse. This enabled me to sleep better at night. In just a few 18 hour days, I had that place spiffy!

I also rearranged the hat rack in ops (lots of hats in there!) and did shoe shines for the guys getting ready to fly while they talked about motorcycles, girls, alimony, child support, that damn Obama, their investment condo's in FL, where to register automobiles, airplanes, brewing beer, stalker FA's, cheapest places to eat and drink on overnights, boats, fishing, ex-wives, Iraqi dinars, stolen pensions, scabs, F-ing scabs, their XO's, squadron buddies, free field stand-bys, hot new-hire FA's, favorite Chief Pilots, etc while preparing for their flights. We still had Jepps back then, so I volunteered to load the individual updates in the V-files. A few guys even let me refresh their individual Jepp binders and pubs before they flew! I had heard it through the grapevine that SOME guys did this while at CRUISE (man! I HATE that!) so I was only too glad to help. Those good old days are gone now. Thankfully, a bunch of those guys too!

Once I had OPS ship shape, I rode the jumpseat out to ORD and took a cab to HQ. I did a reprieve of my janitorial gig since that seemed to cause the least confusion and allowed me to get right to work. No one ever talks to a janitor right? That worked for the first few days, but, eventually, the jig was UP. I was then hauled straight down to the Personnel Office. They asked a LOT of questions. I couldn't understand why they were so interested in my activities. They had a real smart guy there, a Mr. Hogan, who was super nice and I think he took a real shine to me.

He actually PAID for my hotel room that night (I had been cabbing it back to ORD and sleeping in ops) and asked me to come back the following day at 0900. Since I was still doing my 18-hour thing, I showed up at 0430 and one of the building guys let me in early. I guess he had seen me under the vending machines or something! I got straight to work in the messy FA classrooms. At 0830 I sprinted to Mr Hogans office and polished his doorknob since he wasn't in yet.

He was very excited to see me! He had a few friends join us there, all top guys and great! One had this weird electronic thing with electrodes, a sine wavey thing on the front and various plugs. Kind of like an EKG, but a whole lot more tabs that they stuck on my head. They stuck the biggest probe (they said for 'temperature') where the sun don't shine! They told me that I'd get used to it, and I sort of have. They said they were doing a study on "pilot fatigue" (whatever THAT is!) and wanted some data points. (I never get tired in airplanes!) Sure, I had been putting in long days and was dead tired, but by golly, I had WORK to do and boy was I glad to be here!

I have no idea whatever became of those tests and Mr. Hogan. He sure was a nice guy. I'd give him the shirt off my back if I ever had the chance. Perhaps I will someday!

On my last day, they sent me to ORD to DH home and pack for my sim training. My flight home was LATE because some candy a$$ Captain refused a takeoff clearance from ATC! He said something over the PA about "a level 5 cell just off the runway" but I don't buy it. Sure it was black outside, raining sideways and the plane was getting pushed this way and that while the parking brake was set, but I've flown in worse. Eventually, Captain Candy-a$$ took off. I got home but LATE. I HATE THAT! You see, I was going to see my sick Grandmother...

Welcome to U!"