Originally Posted by Bucking Bar

Reminds me of a favorite Lewis Grizzard story.

Two rednecks are sitting on the porch on lazy afternoon and one observes the dog licking himself. Pointing at the dog he comments to the other redneck, "I wish I could do that." The other redneck replies, "well, you going to have to pet him first."

( alternate punch line "that dog will bite you." )