I'm hoping the comedy continues in this thread and the seriousness backs off because this is one funny topic!
"As van-coordinator in command, I must inform you that your wife that you only see half the month can't come to the layover and ride with us, because as Captain I insist that you stay in your room all by your lonesome watching the hotel channel for the entire layover. Fun, sharing transportation and an easy-going nature don't happen on my watch!"
My take on all this would, of course, change if I was flying with MD Culpepper.
Matt Culpepper of California \ Nevada Web Site