I had the fish

I get paid by the bounce.

You should have seen my last landing!

It was the other guy's leg.

I had to dodge the kitten SWA tossed on to the runway

Wear paper "trainee" hat whilst greeting deplaning pax

Trying to turn off laptop at the same time.

The tire "spin up" calculator was misaligned

I was collecting my bags from overhead bin to be first off the plane

Flux capacitor was low