Off subject...

A guy sits in front of TV all day farting like there's no tomorrow. And it's bad enough that the dog would gag and the wife never went in there.

The wife, understandably angry from the flatulence problem as well as the general rudeness over the years, says: "one day you are gonna fart your guts out." He just laughs at her, "It's healthy!"

The next Sunday, as the wife is preparing Turkey for sunday lunch her husband falls asleep. The wife spies an opportunity to get him back so she takes the innards of the turkey walks over to her sleeping husband and gently packs the innards in his shorts. She then went back to cooking the turkey. A little later on she can hear the "barking spider" going at it. She laughs. She can't wait to hear him scream... but she doesn't hear him scream?

A few minutes later he walks into the kitchen.

"What happened?" asked his wife.

"Well," the man said, "you were right. I farted my guts out."

"What did you do?" she said laughing out loud.

"Well, it wasn't easy but I got it all back in there."