First off, happy belated birthday(I'm also a 9/20 b-day, but just celebrated my 30th!)

I think your situation is very simple, you have a plan, and things aren't falling into place like you had thought they should. That's a life lesson! We can prepare, but usually we need a back-up or other options to get us to our end-game. Do not take this the wrong way, but you are still young, you need to mature, you have your whole life ahead of you. Think I'm wrong, just wait another 10years(or even in a few) and look back at how you remember thinking and behaving. I feel you also need to have a little more responsibility as a person. You remind me of someone I knew during college, got wrapped into flying becuase it is neat, got bored, got out of the flight program after their soph. year, then floated until they commited to what has always been their passion.

Now onto your ratings etc.... People might say you need to have XXX done at this time or that, but the process is very individualized. If you get your IR at 100hrs, or 500hrs, who cares(as with any rating). Do it when you're comfortable and ready for it. As mentioned above, I think your age is playing a role in the being criticized when you're doing anything.

Above all else, in any line of work you have to enjoy what you're doing, even more importantly in this profession because of the sacrifices we make.. If you aren't, then it's just a job. If it's just a job, and you are teaching, then do us all a favor and back out now. You have to want, desire, push, and encourage students to succeed and challenge ourselves to do a better job(teaching and our own skills).

Best of luck to you.