Whereas today:

• SWA gets perfect scope and a pile of new efficient jets
• American gets EFB's
• and we get nothing but a CEO who wants a pump and dump consolidation crapsandwich deal
• and Fridays are known for hooning on APC with little Mod interference

Be it resolved:

Wednesdays should hereafter be known as "humpday" and those under utilized, under paid and under employed reserve pilots will avail themselves to searching to the edge of the internet for delicious honeys to ponder and distract us as our career slowly circles the porcelain.

So moved by the Right Reverend, Bucking Bar, Esq. Do I have a second?

Twins are not required, but encouraged none the less: