Originally Posted by
Doug Masters
Carl reminds me of Simon Cowell. We all render our opinion and then a hush falls over the crowd as we wait for him to speak.
Simon Co... I mean Carl Spackler's top 20 insults of DALPA:
I don't know what cats being squashed sound like in Lithuania, but I now have a pretty good idea.
You sounded like Dolly Parton on helium.
I presume there was no mirror in your dressing room tonight.
You have just invented a new form of torture.
If you hear a scream from a hotel room in Las Vegas, that's where Barry Manilow's watching this show.
You sounded like Cher after she's been to the dentist.
You should sue your [Section 1 writing] teacher.
If you would've been [writing LOAs] like this 2,000 years ago, people who would have stoned you.