Best thread I've read in this forum in a while!
My tool of the day/month story...
The captain who was an FFDO who gave me a thorough military style tactical briefing once a day (for the entire month) on what was going to take place if Ahmed the terrorist attempted to breach the cockpit. He used terms like "2 shots, center-mass". It was so ridiculous.
I kept thinking "dude, we're flying an RJ, going from ORD-DSM....get real."