Ooooh, reminds me of some corporate stories.
Ticked owner, mad at the pilot for the pilot doing the right thing, pulls out a $100 bill, lights it on fire, says there's your tip and leaves. I do believe that pilot quit eventually.
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Corporate contract flight attendants + your airplane = your airplane trashed.
Nanny + kids + your airplane = big bill.
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Wealthy CEO's wife, NJA warned she'd take stuff off the airplane. She did. She took everything. Opened every drawer and took out every magazine, gum, snacks, water, etc. Took it all. Didn't even have room for it in their car once we got to Eagle. She smashed it in. Probably threw some away. Amazing. Also demanded 1 water bottle per passenger x how many hours we were in the air, I think it worked out to 70 or 80 bottles.
We got all new magazines and billed NJA back during the time of "spend whatever it takes to make them happy!" Bad idea.
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The multitude of pilots who thought they could walk into our jet just to take a look around. No no. That's white carpet, get out now.
Well, not quite bright white, a very white gray. BTW, don't ever get white or a very white gray carpet.
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Demo flight. 14 morons there to grade the airplane. 15 minute flight. Dude takes a dump. Really?
Same flight, PC-12 pilot, upset we'd pitch to 17 degrees nose up climb (or whatever it was, it was in the FD bars). Thought we were being dangerous. That's not how any airplane he's ever flown is pitched on takeoff.
No kidding bro.
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The corporate management company that wants to manage your airplane, and fire you asap. Why have pilots loyal to the owner?
BTW, next time have us sign a NDA.
And the next fractional wannabe corporate management company that promises the owner he can turn that hangar queen into a money maker! The owner says, I like it being a hangar queen, it's a nice plane. Then the owner asks, what would happen to my pilots? They'd become Flight Options pilots, you could always request them if you want them. oh? And what if I want to use my plane? Well, we'd provide you one of our airplanes but if you want yours then you need to pay to fly it back to you at the full charter rate which was 2x the normal charter rate for some reason?
The good thing was the numbers offered were so bad it was a nonstarter from the beginning. Basically, they wanted a free plane.
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Talking to a charter customers mistress about Michael Jordan's mistresses, awkward. But not as awkward as turning the pull out couch back into a couch.
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Charter customer in Kansas, watches with the FBO rampers while the pilots load bags for 12 into the back. As soon as we close the door, customer turns to the ramper and hands him a big wad of cash for a tip. Ramper walks inside. Um... wow. I don't care if you tip me, but why him? He just stood out here long enough to get a tip and walk away. If I had thought about it, I'd taken the wheel chocks he left in as souvenirs.
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Customs in PBI. So [redacted story].
