Originally Posted by
lolwut
King Tool of the Guard Police...
Was flying along one day monitoring guard and some Cessna down below gets on Guard and says very frantically that he's lost his engine and he's going to land in a field. Pretty stressful and time sensitive situation right?
Some moron gets on there, blocks him and goes "YOU'RE ON GUARD". Then he tries to repeat himself and other planes are trying to get information out of him.... where he's landing, souls on board, that kind of stuff, to pass along. A couple idiots keep responding to these guys with "ON GUARD" and the like.
For once, guard is being used for what its there for, and the guard police are so worked up about it that they can't even process that fact. Luckily the guy was able to get a transmission out that he was on the ground with no injuries.
Once worked on helping a guy at night that was smart to call for help on guard, but sounded really out of his depth for night flying. Completely lost, worried about gas, etc. A couple of us were talking to him, trying to glean his aproximate location, and get him connected with some appropriate controller. The guy sounded a little like a fresh, elderly private pilot that hadn't flown at night since his license, and got caught out late. IOW, like a sixty-four year old airline captain, but minus the confidence (just kidding).
Some genius gets on there, and starts telling the guy to go down to 500' and look for railroad tracks, and identify the name of stations, etc. In the vicinity of PIT. Our student's out there acknowledging him, then one of the sane ones tells him to disregard, and keep a safe altitude, and genius starts with another joke, a really knee-slapper. I can't even remember what it was, but it had a reasonable chance of killing the guy. Before he had a chance to finish him off, we got a controller up, had the guy squawk something useful, and got the student out of the clutches of the Tool.